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Category: Influencing Skills

  • Nurturing Leadership – The New Norm?

    COVID19 has replaced Brexit as the trigger for urgent and critical business change. Organizations have become decentralised as teams and individuals are made to work remotely from home. Or they are temporarily disbanded where staff are furloughed. Most companies will have now completed all the actions necessary to decrease costs, meet the government directive to “stay home” and put contingency plans in place with the view to still being in business at the end of this pandemic. If ever there was a time for leaders to be nurturing, both of themselves and others, it is now.

    WHAT ARE POTENTIAL IMPACTS OF THESE CHANGES ON INDIVIDUALS?

    We know through our experience in performance management that one of the key motivators for being employed to work in a company as opposed to working from home alone is the fact you get to mix with others on a daily basis. The opportunity to talk something through with a colleague over a coffee, the metaphoric and perhaps literal shoulder to cry on when going through a tough time personally or professionally, and not to forget the morale boosting office “banter”. Unless you are a key worker on the front-line of the coronavirus crisis, you will be cut off from all this now.

    The issues facing key workers are different and will not be addressed here.

    POTENTIAL IMPACTS OF ENFORCED HOMEWORKING MIGHT INCLUDE:

    • Lack of motivation as social and face-to-face physical contact has disappeared overnight. 
    • Difficulty balancing time effectively as the working day is no longer segregated from family responsibilities. Not to mention the fact parents have the extra responsibility of educating and entertaining their children. Children who may well act up as a result of the highly irregular circumstances that they find themselves in. As well as the need to prepare meals, and generally keep the house going. No matter the motivation and dedication, it is likely that productivity will suffer.
    • Mental and physical exhaustion as individuals try to play super mums and dads to cope with extended duties such as being home educators, as well as shopping for and checking in with vulnerable family members and elderly members of the community. All the while they are trying to be productive so they can earn the salary that keeps the ship afloat.
    • Worry and anxiety about where is the money going to come from to meet financial obligations and therefore obsessing over the question; “How are we going to manage?”
    • Dealing with the impact and fear of keeping well especially if there are people dependant on you.
    • Living a relentless cycle with little or no respite and “down-time” as everyone “stays home”, and the challenge this brings of trying to stay healthy and keep everyone else healthy.

    HOW DOES LEADERSHIP NEED TO CHANGE?

    In asking this question, it is easy to forget that those designated as leaders also have personal issues and are impacted by the changes to their home environment work set up. Therefore, it is paramount that the time spent on leading is quality time, relaying supportive, inspiring and nurturing messages to all team members that show genuine interest, empathy and understanding.

    Nurturing leadership is going to become the new norm as organisations realise that in order to navigate this crisis successfully, the priority is going to be people. Tailoring your approach to each team member relative to where they are at, as opposed to achieving short-term goals and driving profitability using a one-size-fits-all approach.

    How do you nurture your team in times of crisis?WHAT DOES NURTURING LEADERSHIP LOOK LIKE?

    When nurturing something or someone “we care for it whilst it is growing and developing” (www.Cambridgedictionary.com). Translating this into how leaders are to respond, they should take care of the individual and the business as a whole: each employee that a particular leader is responsible for needs to be supported in helping them find the new norm, encouraged to be kind to themselves and not beat themselves up when missing deadlines, forgetting reports and finding the new ways of using technology a challenge. Me included in this last point!

    A nurturing leader will be able to listen empathetically, listen without the need to “fix” the current situation for their employee, enabling the individual to find their own solutions that work for them and their individual circumstances. Giving them the encouragement to keep trying and to make that breakthrough on something that may on the surface look incredibly simple, and perhaps would ordinarily be so, but in fact is extremely challenging in their new daily environment.

    We know that challenge presents an opportunity for growth. The importance for every leader to create the right environment to allow for growth and development through trial and error is essential to show support, inspire to keep trying and to succeed, whilst at the same time providing a safety net should it be needed.

    A nurturing leader will be tuning into his or her sixth sense of intuition and feeling, to “see” when one of their team is struggling, and to use gentle coaching questions to encourage the sharing of frustrations, venting of anger and disappointments.  At the end, finding empathetic and inspiring words to show respect, kindness and warmth that willingly drives the person to keep searching until they eventually find the model, of the new norm that works for them in their current reality.

    Just as importantly, each leader needs to protect his or her inner emotional and spiritual self through leading by example showing that nurturing is vital and to also take the necessary time to nurture themselves.

    Under present day circumstances, I believe there is no space for the hard-nosed focus to drive profitability, as this will likely push well-intentioned and loyal employees who are desperately trying to be productive right now, away from organisations when the tide turns. It is a time for being. A human being, not a human doing!

    Green Key Personal Development – Nurturing People, Nurturing Business, Growing Potential through these challenging times.

     

    To learn how we can help you and your organisation, email Rachel directly at rachel@greenkeypersonaldevelopment.com

     

    Rachel ShackletonRachel Shackleton is an entrepreneur who owns and manages Green Key Personal Development and Green Key Health. Working with local and multinational organisations, she is a public speaker and trainer in the spheres of leadership, communication and customer excellence. She ensures sustainable productivity and profitability through healthy self-management and leadership practices, ensuring a focused and successful workforce.

  • Olympians and Leadership Lessons

    Sports and leadership have so much in common, as do leadership and sports?

    Kirsti Yamaguchi could not have put the point across more succinctly.  To be successful in any sports, whether on ice, on snow, in water, on a track or field, focus is required to keep your goal in mind, and in vision at all times.  Sport is a passion as is effective leadership.  The “why” in Why I do this?

    Setting clear and measurable goals is essential for individual sports men and women as well as for teams.  Is this different for any leader?  He or she needs to know and be passionate about the goal and be able to inspire others to share that same passion.

    In sport and in leadership, there are times when discipline and hard work are essential to produce that extra bit more, that bit you didn’t think was possible when the odds appear against you.  Does this happen in business sometimes? Perhaps external or internal circumstances change, putting pressure on how to achieve the goal under changing circumstances, as well as on the leader to find the way to inspire the team to produce synergy to achieve what appears to be the unachievable.  To avoid giving up by finding that bit extra.

    As Mark Phelps, the Olympic Swimmer once said “Goals should never be easy, they should force you to work, even if they are uncomfortable at the time.” Setting clear and “smart” goals is essential to creating that sense of challenge and focus that we all work towards and celebrate once achieved.

    Celebration and sharing the glory of goals achieved with a team is a genuine opportunity to provide positive feedback on performance, it is a genuine opportunity to support and encourage during the process and an essential characteristic of an inspirational leader.

    Successful sports people, and effective leaders, whether male or female share the importance of self leadership.  Respecting oneself through honouring mind, body and spirit, Eating responsibly to ensure the body and mind are nourished and ready for challenge.  Ever considered if fast foods, snacks, caffeine, energy drinks and processed foods are up to the job?

    Sportsmen and women naturally exercise to train their body.  No Olympian ever succeeded without training both the body and mind to rise to the physical and mental challenge of competing. Do leaders have a duty to themselves firstly and to their followers and company secondly to maintain a healthy level of physical as well as mental stamina?

    The last part of the equation shared by sports people and leaders is adequate sleep to keep the mind and body alert to make those last second and important decisions that make all the difference to performance.

  • Ryanair – a fine leadership cock-up

    The purpose of my blog is not to run Ryanair into the ground, though I am sure there are a number of people out there who would willingly do that.  Anyway time will tell?  As my mum always said “All good things come to he who waits!”

    I was listening to a well-known radio station a couple of weeks ago when the Ryanair situation was first breaking news.  Various listeners were sharing their experiences and tales of difficulty.  At that point the reason for this situation, according to Ryanair was “incorrect scheduling of pilot holidays”.  Extraordinary?  I am sure that Ryanair has hundreds of pilots.  Could poor scheduling really be the cause of such disruption?  As this point was being discussed, the wife of one of the pilots called in to share her understanding of the situation:  “This is not about poor scheduling, she said, it is about how pilots are treated by Michael O’Leary, who she said has no respect for them or the work they do.”  My leadership bells were already ringing.  According to Justin Bachman and Carol Matlack in their article “The Creative Hiring Habits of Ryanair and Norwegian Air Shuttle” (Bloomberg, February 12, 2015) both Ryanair and Norwegian have found ways to minimize the legal aspects and taxes on pilot contracts in favour of company profitability.   I don’t think there is a company out there who does not look for creative ways to minimise costs and maximize profits.

    What is the cost for Ryanair of this situation?

    The evidence of poor leadership in this situation keeps showing its face – why is the CAA (Civil Aviation Authority) regulating body reacting so if the leadership is transparent, fair, and above all with integrity.  Not only it appears is the leadership of employees under question, but so too is the honesty and integrity with which Ryanair is communicating with their customers, who also appear to have been cheated.

    Mr Haines, Chief Executive (CAA) told the BBC news (28 September 2017) “that he very much doubted the dispute would get as far as the courts, but added it was “unacceptable” that Ryanair was disregarding the law and customers’ rights.”

    Don’t get me wrong doing the right thing and leading from the front with courage, integrity and transparency both with employees and customers is not always the easy route.  Trying to fool the customer over their legal rights was an act that perhaps Mr O’Leary and his senior management were hoping would make the whole thing die down through showing reassurance to customers that they are being taken care of and that Ryanair will do the “right thing”. This has not worked, in fact it seems to have added fuel to the fire.  Perhaps the fire is going to get bigger, as customers are so riled to the point that it makes them claim every last penny that is their legal right!

    In most situations where there is need for courageous and exemplary leadership, there is time for discussion with key members of the management team to formulate the message and to get it out there to change the course of the situation or even halt it before the fire takes hold.  However, if that’s not in your list of values, as a leader, nothing that happens is going to make you change your colours.

    Leading others, from my point of view is a privilege.  At times it can be difficult, demanding, even frightening sometimes, as well as exhilarating and joyous.  In each situation core values are what provide stability to make the right decision, that clear direction to stand up and say “I made a cock-up, and I am sorry and I will do everything I can to rectify this quickly, with openness and above all with honesty and integrity.”

    Leadership is not just about how we use our head in making strategic decisions to increase competitiveness and profitability, it is also about using our heart to understand our team members, as well as customers and to balance our “head” thinking and decisions with some human emotion from the heart.

  • Leaders are Like Gardeners

    We think about and refer to leaders in many ways – good, bad, poor indifferent, charismatic, dynamic, legendary, but have you ever thought that leaders are like gardeners? Let me explain.

    What or who is a gardener – someone who prepares the earth, plants seeds, nurtures those seeds as they grow to become young tender seedlings and later fully grown plants that bear fruit, whether berries, kale, courgettes, apples, pears or flowers. The goal is always to create the right environment to help the plant, whatever it is, grow and flourish. Plants like people are individual and some will bear fruit, some will have an off year, because the environment is not right, while others will simply keep on growing and producing so long as the environment is right and they have plenty of food. You can probably now see where I am going with this and why we can refer to leaders as gardeners.

    As with gardeners there are good ones and not so good ones. Leaders are no different.

    An effective leader will create the right environment for each person to grow and flourish being mindful that the overall environment is the same for everyone whether experienced or inexperienced. Into that environment they plant the seeds, nurture them, again being mindful that some need more nurturing in order to help them establish themselves within the environment and to grow. Nurturing with compassion, care and attention, support and direction that is just right for each person. As a gardener you would not put fresh horse manure on your roses, why? It is too strong and would kill the plant. On the contrary, put on to a more hardy plant such as an apple tree that manure would probably be perfect. I’m not suggesting for one minute that horse manure is a good way of helping employees grow, but what I am suggesting is that people are different and need an approach that is suitable and brings out the best in them. Leaders need to understand that each employee requires an individual approach to become established and then with the correct nurturing are able to flourish and grow.

    When flowers start to open and blossom, the gardener probably stands back and admires his or her work, remaining attentive to any changes in the plant or the environment and reacting appropriately to that. When winter comes, protecting the plant is a priority to help it survive? Is this not the same for people? Sometimes winter appears in the form of curve balls that life throws at us causing us to temporally lose our way. An effective leader, because they care, will notice the change and provide the support and guidance to that employee helping them weather the cold, a time when they are at their most vulnerable.

    Gardeners know that the roots, make the fruits and if not spending enough time and appropriate effort into establishing those roots, the plant will not survive. It is the same with leadership. Expecting a new member of the team to thrive from the first day, without appropriate “planting”, even if an experienced person is farcical. Just think back to your first day in a different organisation. How comfortable were you? Did you end the first day feeling nervous, but positive that you had made the right choice of company, or did your heart sink with dread because you realised that you had made a grave mistake and that this was not what you expected. Had you known you would not have taken the job?

    The first three months of any new job is difficult for most of us as we try to find our way around the building, the people and who does what, the job itself and the challenges that this creates as well as finding someone who could be a “good” person to get to know. At this time the role of any leader is to ensure this seed, the employee is planted in fertile soil and that he/she will grow to be strong and healthy.

    It is estimated that loss of new recruits within the first three months of employment in UK companies is approximately 5%. Can you imagine as a gardener losing 5% of your crop, garden or allotment during the planting and establishing period? Losing people is much more costly in recruitment costs, training costs (if there was any), hours spent on administration to onboard each person etc.

    Is it time that your leaders become gardeners and put all their focus into creating the right environment, a fertile ground, tending each seed carefully while they establish and grow stronger and then providing the right nourishment to watch each seed grow into a strong plant that flourishes and bears fruit. That “fruit” being consistency, productivity, achievement of goals and ultimately profitability.

    According to a CIPD report, “A good retention rate range is 90 percent or higher. Industries with the highest retention rates include government, finance, insurance, and education, while the lowest rates can be seen in the hotel, retail, and food industries.” This would include the first three months of employment. In reality the churn rate according to a CIPD report is approximately 35%. This cannot solely be blamed on poor leadership, nevertheless leaders and managers have a huge influence on how long someone stays in their job. Below is the breakdown from a recent study conducted by the CIPD on churn rates in 2022. As seen here the first three months is critical, even extending up to six months with the potential of losing 10.5% of newly recruited talent within the first six months.

    https://community.cipd.co.uk/cipd-blogs/b/cipd_voice_on/posts/why-staff-turnover-data-matters

    What gardener would be happy with the loss of 10.5% of the potential crop at the 3-6 month point? Probably no gardener, not only because of losing the crop, but because unless you are planting and growing in a greenhouse, in the UK you have to wait another six months before being able to plant again, losing the crop for that year. A question springs to mind – How long does it take to recruit a new person into the now vacant position?

    The answer lies in the position you are recruiting for, the level of skill needed and how abundant these skills and talents are in the marketplace. Surely it is common sense to encourage your leaders to be gardeners so that the loss of new talent joining your organisation is minimal.

    For more information on Leadership training with Green Key Personal Development, book a call here.

     

  • Leadership – Can You Stomach It?

    “As with stomachs, we should pity minds that do not eat.”

    ― Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

    It is my gut feeling that this is the right time to address the topic of digestion, the stomach and the gut and how they relate to leadership.

    The saying in the English language “I can’t stomach it”, can refer to several things:  It can mean that you cannot eat a particular thing because of the texture, flavour, consistency, taste or smell which you find revolting, and consequently “cannot stomach”.

    It can also refer to a person “I can’t stomach him or her.”  Meaning that you cannot bear to be around a particular person. This might also refer to an activity, TV programme, event or food that the person using the phrase has experience of and which leads to such a violent response such as “I cannot stomach that programme.” Or I can’t stomach eating x.” 

    WATCH MY VIDEO HERE:

     

     

    WHERE DID THIS SAYING COME FROM?

    Leadership and digestionAfter extensive search in Google, I have sadly been unable to find the origin of this descriptive and physically felt phrase.  What I mean by this is that you can feel the reaction that your stomach might have to a particular person, issue, activity or foodWhere does the expression, “I can’t stomach him/her” come from? How linked are our emotions and digestion? when you put yourself in through thought only into that situation.

    The digestive system is highly intelligent and if we put something into our mouths that is going to cause a major physical reaction, the system already starts to reject it through reflux and vomiting before it has gone too far, limiting any physical damage.  This leads on nicely to the following saying that is also stomach or gut related:

    “WHY DO I BRING THIS UP?”

    Another saying related to the digestive system.  Usually when we use this term it is pre-empted with something like “I am sorry for bringing this up.”  Or “I would like to bring x up as it is……….”   We try to compensate or balance the potential emotional reaction we think the topic in question is going to stir up in terms of thoughts and emotions that have been hidden, buried or pushed aside in the hope that they might go away.   Lacking the courage or resilience to deal with a particular issue, leads us to “hide” it in order to avoid any scrutiny, not to mention “out of sight, out of mind”.  Perhaps the subject is taboo for some reason or buried as those involved do not want to deal with the consequences or reactions of raising the topic with all relevant parties.

    As managers and leaders it is important that we are able to address situations and people related issues that we find very difficult, perhaps because of those involved, fear of the consequences when “bringing it up” or maybe even the fear of rejection.  The stomach is the part of our anatomy that “digests new ideas and experiences that we have.”  It processes all issues connected with the mind and the emotions – personal power and sense of self.  When there are stomach problems, if we are in touch with our own intuition and feelings it usually means that we don’t know how to assimilate the new experience – we are afraid.  “What or who can’t you stomach?”

    THE PRINCIPLES OF LEADERSHIP

    One of the key principles of leadership is the courage to do and say what needs to be said through open, direct and clear communication to address issues that have been pushed under the carpet, and consequently those involved are not willing to deal with or alternatively hope the situation is not common knowledge.  It is not relevant whether we like a person or not.  It is about knowing the vision of why we exist as a team, department and company as well as knowing and living the values that guide decisions and actions.  Therefore, when for some reason a team member/s have deviated and is/are now under-performing, that we have the courage to follow our gut and address the situation and person/s openly.

    Constructive, open, fair, balanced and clear communication is necessary to help others firstly to recognise that their performance is suffering, to understand why it is below requirements, and then to find their own solution to rectify it.  This openness might be a “hard pill to swallow”.  Knowing the truth can sometimes hurt, however it is the truth that once swallowed leads to personal growth and development, not only of the employee, but the leader also.

    Interestingly, the throat centre (chakra) processes all issues of communication and expression, as well as trust, truth and true expression of who we are, our authenticity.  The throat connected to the mouth and feeding into the stomach is part of the digestive system.

    Knowing this fact as a leader can be useful to remind us that given the correct “food”, cooked in the correct manner might be difficult for the other person to accept, but when they do it leads to learning for all involved through open expression, one of the most important aspects of dynamic leadership.

    In conclusion, our digestion has a lot to do with effective leadership, not weakening a message, but structuring it in a way that makes it an acceptable “pill to swallow”, thus leading to a positive change in performance.   It is my gut feeling that by bringing up this parallel between the digestive system and leadership, even though for some it might raise issues that are difficult to overcome or to stomach, can only result in a healthy digestive system, working environment, and relationships.

    Bon appetite!

     

    To learn how we can help you and your organisation, email Rachel directly at rachel@greenkeypersonaldevelopment.com 

     

    References:  You Can Heal Your Life,  Louise L. Hay

    Spiritual Healing, Jack Angelo

     

    Rachel ShackletonRachel Shackleton is an entrepreneur who owns and manages Green Key Personal Development and Green Key Health. Working with local and multinational organisations, she is a public speaker and trainer in the spheres of leadership, communication and customer excellence. She ensures sustainable productivity and profitability through healthy self-management and leadership practices, ensuring a focused and successful workforce.

  • Leadership – Living Your Truth

    “No magic bullet, not even the Internet, can save us from population explosion, deforestations, climate disruption, poison by pollution, and wholesale extinctions of plant and animal species.  We are going to have to want different things, seek different pleasures, pursue different goals than those that have been driving us and our global economy.”  Joanna Macy

    There are many definitions of leadership and what or who makes a good leader.  I personally have been training high potentials and business leaders for many years. It takes COVID19 to make me stop and think about the question: What is leadership?

    Leadership is defined in terms of goals, the purpose and the context in which leaders are placed. For example a leader of a country, whether Boris Johnson, Donald Trump or President Putin are all tasked with the same role and goals, in comparison to an army general leading his men into war, the goals and context are vastly different, thus affecting the definition of leadership, and the extension of that – the characteristics of a good leader.

    Perhaps the one common aspect or definition is that leaders inspire and influence others to want to do things. Leaders defined in this way are in every nation and every society. In most cases they are highly visible and have an effect on many aspects of our lives including how we think, how we act, our product choices, lifestyle, values and for whom we vote.  A case in point in the run up to the election in the USA.

    Looking around the world we see leaders who serve the common good, speaking their truth, and we see leaders who believe their position allows them to embezzle, manipulate, corrupt and steal from those they lead through mistruths, subtle or open lies and actions of blatant personal gain.

    It is seldom, in the list of characteristics of a good leader that we see values, words and statements that are reflected in their true behaviour such as speaking their truth, commitment to the common good, to world and planet sustainability, the importance of taking a long term view and decisions that impact not only the short term, but long term as well.

    WHAT IS LONG TERM IN AN ORGANISATION? 

    The answer probably depends on the type of business you are in, the country in which you are operating and the goals of the business.  I remember in my early days of working in the hotel industry at the London Hilton, where every 2-3 years the General Manager would be replaced, the outgoing person moving on to greater things and the incoming on the same trajectory.  What did this mean?  It meant that every GM wanted to leave his or her impact on the profitability of the operation.  You might say, that is natural and that it should be that way.  My view is slightly different, especially when profitability affecting the employees who work so hard to give the “promised” service to each and every guest are left with insufficient tools to do the job, uniforms that need replacing and no longer give pride to the neglected employee who is wearing it.  Who wins here?  The GM who is promoted onwards?  Such short-sighted decisions take time to show the true impact on morale, reputation, performance and turnover.  Long gone are those that were instrumental in this demise.

    Leadership - living your truthAre governments any different?  Clearly not. We can see in the UK how a change of party spends a great deal of time, taxpayer’s money and effort to undo policies, decisions and actions that the previous government put in place.  Why do we allow this?  Long term needs to be no less than 30 years and Is it not about time that leaders live their truth, lead by example, and invest in personal growth?preferably 50+ years to develop sustainability, policies that actually come to fruition to positively impact generations of people, the immediate environment, nature as well as the whole planet in which we all share and live.  At the moment, enjoyment of this planet depends on which side of the exploitation you are!  For example, exploitation of the rain forests, an essential part of the world ecosystem being raped to replace it with a short-term crop of soya which is grown to feed cattle to eventually end up on someone’s plate.  Is this effective leadership?

    How many leaders do you know who invest in their personal development, their true nature – the inner consciousness and knowing that comes with connecting to oneself and the inner knowledge that is shared through connection with all other sentient beings?  The true reality of the self can only be revealed through self-exploration that is beyond logic, information and skills we have gathered along the way, it is about being.  Being comfortable with who you are, being comfortable with the truth, without ego and science.  This is the intuitive self and is a person who is in touch with their soul and their true purpose in this life.

    The Dalai Lama in his acceptance speech for the Nobel Peace Prize said “Because we all share this small planet Earth, we have to learn to live in harmony and peace with each other and with nature.  That is not just a dream, but a necessity.”

    Is it not time for leaders within governments and organisations to evaluate their honesty motives and actions to understand whether they are in accord with harmony and peace, with nature, each other and themselves?

    This time of COVID19 seems to be inviting our leaders and each one of us to question our ideas and beliefs, our habits and actions that are neither serving us as individuals, the organisations in which we work, our nations and countries, and Mother Earth.  It is a time to connect to our hearts, our inner wisdom, which we all have, and create inner peace and world peace, joy and happiness through true connection, nurturing and compassionate leadership that manifests joy, values-based leadership and unconditional love for all those you lead.  These characteristics do not take away from having to make difficult decisions such as redundancies of hard-working people, but simply how we go about doing this.  Nor does it negatively influence the profitability of organisations. It might take longer to show this profitability, but in the long term it will be sustainable and more.  Once again Nelson Mandela springs to mind with his gentle, compassionate ability to positively influence even his captors and enemies through living his truth and in doing so, showing others the way.

    How long is it going to be before each and every one of us changes, stops paying lip service to ideals such as sustainability, wellbeing and leadership and actually lead by example through living these qualities, characteristics and ideals?

    This blog was inspired by Robert Rabin and the book he wrote in 1998, Invisible Leadership, and the person who recommended I read it – Owen Bailey.  To both I am extremely grateful as it has helped me order the outer expression of my inner self. 

     

    To find out more about how Green Key can help you and your leadership journey, contact Rachel directly.

     

    Rachel ShackletonRachel Shackleton, Founder of Green Key Personal Development and Green Key Health is a leadership trainer, medical herbalist and naturopath specializing in corporate health through face-to-face, on-line and e-learning development solutions.

  • Moral courage in leadership

    “If you are a leader. A person that other fellows look to, you’ve got to keep going.”

    Sir Ernest Shackleton

    As we speed to the end of 2022 and begin 2023, on our minds is the inevitable “New Year Resolutions.” What, if any are you committing yourself to do or be? Dr Aseem Malhotra, a cardiologist in our NHS sparked my thought process to think about new year and my resolutions.  If I am to set any, the word “courage” comes to mind.

    Courage as defined by the Merriam Webster dictionary is “the mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.” When referring to courage, based on this definition we are already including the word moral and therefore it is not necessary to refer to “moral courage”. In the words of Daniel Goleman, courage is based on self-confidence and people with this competence are able to:

    • “Present themselves with self-assurance and self-confidence creating a “presence”
    • Are able to and will voice views that are unpopular, going out on a limb for what is right
    • Are decisive, able to make sound decisions despite uncertainties, pressures, obstacles, as well as fear.”

    Courage, in short is the ability to overcome fear in the face of perceived danger for what you believe is right. How many leaders today, do you know who are doing just that? The Mandelas, Churchills and even Shackleton, the explorer are long gone. It is only self-confidence and courage that gives you the strength to make tough decisions or follow a course of action that you believe in, despite opposition, disagreement and even the threat of being dislodged, smeared and ridiculed by those with an equally strong, but opposite belief. Whether you agree with what Dr Malhotra is saying, is irrelevant, but he is standing up for what he believes and leading the way for those that believe the same, but yet, lack the self-confidence and courage to speak out due to fear of what might happen, if they do.

    Fear, which I have written about in a previous blog is something that is based on irrational beliefs, events, persons or feelings that will result in negative, disastrous, disturbing, unsettling or even life-threatening consequences for the person who is in fear. Our fears can and do take us hostage, preventing and blocking us from living powerfully, being who we are without fear of retribution, because of a negative state. Surely, living in a democratic society means that we can share personal opinions and views openly in an appropriate manner, allowing others to having an opposite viewpoint whether in public, our teams or in organisations?

    Our brains are hardwired to look for danger and pain, warning us to stay away.  In order to act courageously you have to convince your brain to look for and see the benefit of a particular action. I remember several situations in my career where courage to speak out about what I thought would be perceived as a negative decision by those who were on the other end of it, and in the short-term detrimental to those same people. The risk was high, but it was the only way that I saw for us all to weather the storm, and survive, thus in the medium-term would and did benefit all. That did not make it easy, because the brain is trying to convince you that you are not doing the right thing, therefore you are not only dealing with the feelings and opinions of those who are on the end of your decision, but also your own self-doubt and sudden disappearance of inner confidence and calm. How will you feel and what will you do if it goes wrong? Those questions driving shame, guilt and fear, perhaps even anger before it has arrived. How do you overcome fear in order to step outside your comfort zone and secure base and look danger in the face, not recklessly, but with enough self-confidence to eliminate the fear and to use it towards achieving a positive outcome.

    1. Identify the fear – just what is it that you are afraid of? Write it down and examine it for what it is, using the questions: Why do I have this fear? Where is the fear coming from? What is driving it?
    2. Go deeper and reflect on aspects of the past and what may be contributing to this fear in the present. Have you stirred an old wound that you have been suppressing?
    3. Think of someone who you can share and talk about your fear with. Someone who can be your “base,” an ally who will listen and walk with you through your fear.
    4. Visualise yourself overcoming your fear and succeeding in your quest.
    5. Act by taking the necessary steps to make it happen. It is only when you have acted that you truly have overcome your fear.

    Courage is a very essential characteristic of a leader. George Kohlrieser in “Care to Dare” talks about “Playing to win.” Playing to win takes the perceived threat and fear out of the equation. When a leader plays to win, he or she is able to take the necessary risks to succeed. When playing to win you have a high focus on relationships, therefore not sacrificing your people for your own ego. It is about the fine balance between the relationships and the level of challenge that enables you to reach the highest levels of performance. You support your team members, creating a safe place, but at the same time stretch them through high expectations, challenge, direct and constructive feedback. Feeling safe and challenged, your team members will be fully engaged in exploring possibilities, being creative, as well as taking the risks necessary to allow for them to take the steps needed for change. Practicing the balance of “caring and daring” you will not pursue options that allow others to “lose.”

    Nelson Mandela, Sir Ernest Shackleton and other great leaders all played to win overcoming their own fears and taking the “bull by the horns”. They led at their best despite setbacks by creating a safe base for their followers, even though working against the odds, having a deep impact on their followers and ultimately on the outcome. Leaders in business who act in the same manner also play to win, not just for themselves, but all those they lead. Dr Malhotra is doing just that.

    In my humble opinion it is time for our leaders, whether in government, in organisations or small business, to pick up the gauntlet, overcome their fears and show courage by speaking out and sharing what in your hearts you know to be true. Perhaps if we all did that, our world would be a more humble, tolerant and caring place?

    Are you ready to stick your head above the parapet and speak up for what you believe is true and right?

    References:

    Working with Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman

    Care to Dare, George Kohlrieser

    Hostage at the Table, George Kohlrieser

  • How Are Your Listening Skills?

    How Good Are Your Listening Skills?

    I like to listen.  I have learned a great deal from listening carefully.  Most people never listen.

    Ernest Hemmingway

    In order to manage the ever-increasing workload, our lives are focused to processing as much as possible in the shortest time,.  This is further compounded by social media – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and the like, all of which demand time, and to which it is easy to become a “slave”.  How are these demands affecting your listening?  Look over the table below and remind yourself of the difference between poor and effective listening.

    Poor v. Effective Listening Behaviour

    The Poor Listener:

    Is distracted by work, other people, interrruptions, noises etc

    Body is oriented away from the speaker 

    Gives no feedback (facial responsiveness, or other appropriate response 

    Ignores speaker’s non verbal communication

    Interrupts and waits to speak 

    Jumps to conclusions – focuses on symptoms and quick fixes

    Takes criticism personally

    Blames others.  Becomes defensive about the organisation or self and is judgemental and punishing when someone complains 

    Blames the organisation.  Takes the side of the person complaining

    Is thrown by stressed-out behaviour of others, and may become stressed-out in turn, Often lacks control of the situation

    Judges others by opinions – prejudices, shuts down listening

    The Effective Listener:

    Focuses on the speaker and what is being said

    Body is oriented towards the speaker 

    Gives feedback and participates appropriately 

    Tunes into the speaker’s non verbal communication

    Occasionally reflects and clarifies.  Allows the other person to finish what they are saying 

    Is patient.  Sees complaints and negative criticism as opportunity for problem solving and learning.  Focuses on underlying causes

    Avoids taking criticism personally 

    Suspends judgement as to who is to “blame”.  Has attitude to focus and find solutions which is seen as being more important than judgement

    Doesn’t blame.  Seeks solutions, is proactive for the future, not seeking revenge for actions in the past

    Realises the other person must have had to “psych up” to make a complaint, and has respect.  Makes allowances for the other person’s behaviour while listening

    Suspends judgement on others – listens to what is being said, not who is saying it

    Listens with head and heart

    Skilled Listeners:

    • Pay attention – focus to the speaker
    • Indicate interest
    • Listen without judgement or prejudice
    • Observe and notice others’ body language and vocal usage
    • Ask questions to expand the other person’s thinking
    • Use the feedback loop to check understanding and show listening

  • Does your employee appraisal process need an appraisal?

    “The most basic problem is that performance appraisals often don’t accurately assess performance.” – W. Edwards Deming (Founding Father of Total Quality Management)

    We traditionally rely on employee management performance systems / performance appraisals to give feedback to our employees. In most organisations this is a yearly ritual after having completed the statutory probation period. If you are lucky, it might be twice yearly. How do manager’s typically view this? Do they look forward to spending valuable and productive time with an employee listening to how they feel they have performed and opening up discussion if for some reason it differs from the manager’s view. Or does the manager provide a monologue of feedback according to the question and rating on the form in some kind of awkward manner in the hope that the employee firstly understands and secondly agrees with what is being said. If the manager orients towards the autocratic style, what the employee thinks or agrees with is probably highly irrelevant. The box gets ticked, and the employee goes back to what they were doing muttering on the way about the “BS” that he or she has just been subjected to.

    I remember many years back when my then manager called me at a random time when I was travelling home from work on a Friday, having been away on the job since the previous Sunday afternoon to give me my appraisal. “Give” was the appropriate word as 10 minutes later after listening to him, he ended the monologue with “Have a good weekend.” My emotions? Disbelief, disappointment both of which later developed into anger due to the shear disrespect I had been shown for working 12 hours a day, 5 days a week while living in a hotel and eating pub grub or take aways for the entire week. Was he interested in my thoughts, questions or comments? Definitely not! The fact that he did not even have the respect to organise the call in a proper way giving me time to prepare myself. Perhaps that was what he was afraid of? It’s no surprise therefore that I managed a year before departing for greater things.

    What does the employee think about the performance management system and their appraisal? Is this recognised as an opportunity to talk openly about what they are doing and how they feel they are doing or is it something that they dread knowing that their point of view will likely be ignored or brushed off like a piece of dust on a dark-coloured jersey?

    Every organisation needs a method of understanding how an employee is doing, how they are feeling about their current role and what it is they are interested in growing into. After all this is the foundation to succession planning and can help not only the department manager, but the employee, HR team and General Director in a smaller operation saving large sums of money on search and recruitment fees.

    The best performance appraisal is one that is no surprise to the employee because they have received ongoing feedback, both positive and negative as and when required, making the formal “meeting” almost a summary of their performance and an opportunity to open up discussion around future plans and to agree a way forward to assist that employee to grow and develop their potential to be ready to assume a new position as and when it appears.

    Information gained from such a conversation has much more value to enable for succession planning and facilitate an understanding of the positions that will need recruiting in the future, linking to HR planning. It also provides information for the manager to ensure that he/she takes an active interest in his/her employees, organising and delegating accordingly to facilitate learning, helping to keep individual employees engaged and motivated as well as loyal. The latter being especially important at this time when there is a shortage of people in the market. Learning and development that cannot be facilitated through delegation of skills, role rotation and so on might need to be addressed by organised learning through courses that meet the specific skills need whether face-to-face, virtual or through specialised digital courses. Again, knowledge gleaned from the appraisal process is fed into HR or Learning and Development to enable yearly budget planning for company employees’ training and development needs according to demand for particular skills courses whether it be leadership, communicating with customers, delegation or computer skills.

    There is a standard approach to conducting appraisals that any manager needs to know, but there are also critical skills to conduct a performance appraisal effectively, including:

    • The ability to ask questions that develop open discussion and probe to understand fully and clearly.
    • The ability to listen effectively not only to the answers, but tone of voice and body language behind those answers.
    • To use appreciative enquiry to build trust, respect and openness in all aspects of the conversation.
    • To lead the discussion in a positive manner that includes all aspects of performance, while not being afraid to address issues in performance where the employee is not performing at their best.
    • To help the employee identify how they can improve their performance through invitation to help them find their own answers.
    • To encourage engagement of the employee to want to improve where required while at the same time motivating change in performance in skills and areas that require it.
    • To be open and honest.
    • To not be afraid of receiving feedback as the employee’s manager in how your style of leadership for this person could be improved to build a trusting relationship.

    Giving feedback to develop and improve performance is a skill required of any manager and leader. Them making light of the process could be an indication that they themselves do not have the necessary skills to feel comfortable and confident appraising others who are under their responsibility, or it could simply be that the senior management themselves under value this process, encouraging their subordinates to adopt the same attitude.

    “A performance appraisal that is conducted effectively leads to greater employee morale, higher productivity, creating a positive culture and improved overall performance and effectiveness of an organisation.” –  Kumar Parakala, global business leader

  • Emotional intelligence & self-care: the missing competence?

    Emotional intelligence & self-care: the missing competence?

    Daniel Goleman the author of “Working with Emotional Intelligence”, talks about several competencies under “Personal” and “Social” competencies – Self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, motivation and relationship management/social skills. Perhaps it is now time in our world of intensity, fear, overwhelm and stress to add one more competence – “Self-care?”

    In our present-day world, on most corners you meet headlines referring to poor mental health, burnout, stress and overwhelm. Where are we going wrong? For the last several years we have been bombarded with external factors that have created this undercurrent of fear that continues to steadily eat away at human resilience with no sign of abating. Workload is another of the biggest factors in our daily lives to impact our physical and emotional energy resources. Feeling fearful and or overwhelmed means a sense of loss of control. When we are not feeling in control due to the “unknown” – Covid, inflation, petrol prices etc as well as due to impending deadlines, sheer volume of work and a lack of appreciation we leak energy just like a tyre on your car with a slow puncture, that over time leads into a downward spiral until you are literally “flat”. Eventually resulting in poor health as the endocrine system tries hard to rectify the constant onslaught of “fight and flight” reactions.

    What is Self-care?

    Considering “Self-care” from the point of view of Emotional Intelligence, in my opinion it is a combination of “self-awareness” and “self-regulation”. In other words, the ability to listen to yourself and observe a change in reactions to everyday issues, such as being less patient, overly aggressive in your manner, moody and lacking joy, and then to tune into yourself and pay more attention to these changes to understand the real cause. Having understood the cause, whatever that might be to then put in place some actions to self-regulate. In other words, to “manage one’s internal states, impulses and resources” so that your thoughts, actions and overall behaviour no longer drain energy.

    In order to recognise when things are becoming too much “Self- care” goes a little deeper than self-regulation. It requires taking the foot of the pedal, putting practices in place that regulate work-volumes and deadlines to a point where you are stretched, but not over stretched as to over-stimulate the “fight and flight” response, taking down-time and generally assisting your internal physical and mental mechanisms to return to a state of homeostasis. In short-term circumstances when it is temporarily not possible to take your foot off the pedal to put several actions in place that positively support your energy system, for example:

    Pause, breathe deeply for 3 in and out breaths – always ensuring the out-breath is longer than the in-breath. In this way you slow down your emotional reactions and bring an inner calm to the situation. Using this technique in the moment is very useful when your response would otherwise have been reactive and reckless.

    Create space and time for yourself every day – During this time, which might only be 10-20 minutes a day, stay away from digital distractions and invest time in yourself walking, meditating and generally connecting with yourself. Taking time out creates the space in which to assess, evaluate and tune into your thoughts and emotions around different situations. For effective investment of time:

    • Avoid being distracted by messages, calls and other regular interruptions
    • If weather permits go out for some fresh air and if it doesn’t go out for some fresh air
    • Breathe deeply 3-4 times before tuning into your surroundings, the smells, sights and sound
    • Tune into yourself to acknowledge how you are feeling. Allow any negative feelings to manifest, acknowledge them and then let them g
    • Acknowledge the learning these feelings and emotions have given you and move on from that place.

    “Creating space for yourself on a daily basis, helps to regulate daily stresses and create that breathing space in order to “see” your emotional triggers.

    Respect your personal capacity – say “No” when you know it is one thing too much. Talk to someone when you feel overwhelmed and stressed. They will likely be able to see the “wood for the trees” and help find the way out.

    Keep your diet nutritionally rich – Avoid wheat and wheat-based foods. Wheat affects the brain as well as the body, causing stress to the digestive system and ultimately the brain as the two are inextricably linked through the gut-brain axis. If you want to get maximum energy from what you eat choose foods that support effective digestion and an agile mind:

    • Eat the rainbow on a daily basis in fruit and vegetable
    • Eat brain foods – oily fish such as mackerel, sardines, and salmo
    • Chose healthy fats full of omega 3 and 6 – avocado, olive oil and coconut oi
    • Eat good quality protein – grass-fed meat, fish, eggs, and protein from things such as whole grains, sesame seeds (humus), beans and legumes.

    Read my blog about the effect of what we eat has on our minds

    Keep hydrated – when not drinking enough water your body becomes stressed and therefore any additional external stressors accelerate the negative impact on how you feel. Keep a glass of water close by to sip on throughout the day. Aim to drink a minimum of 8 glasses daily.

    Avoid all energy drinks and caffeine – they all serve to dehydrate the body as well as overall increasing the drain on your energy. Before reaching for that caffeine boost, drink a glass of water first and then observe how you feel.

    Long term regulation of mind and body through “Self-care”

    Taking a longer term view on “Self-care” means that you put daily and weekly practices in place to ensure a consistent and constant source of energy to meet demanding periods in your life, which let’s face it we all have. Adopting this kind of practice helps in keeping your mind positive and agile and your body full of energy.

    As we are all unique, practices will differ from person-to-person. In order to find the right practices for you, ask yourself the following questions:

    • What brings me joy
    • What do I love doing
    • Who inspires me so that I want to spend more time in their energy
    • How can I nourish the whole of myself?

    In answering these questions, you begin to identify what activities will help you to switch off from whatever overwhelm, stress and negativity you are facing. In our lives there is abundance of joy, we just have to stop to see it. Is your real passion in baking, cycling, fishing, gardening or walking? How can you build more of this into your weekly routine? What kind of people bring you inspiration? Who are they and how can you see or speak to them as part of your week?

    When I think of personal “self-care” and nourishment, I think of several things:

    • Sitting on top of a hill or by a river and taking in the view emptying my head of circulating thoughts and conversation
    • Taking an afternoon powernap. 10-20 minutes of “switch off” in peace and quie
    • Switching off connectivity and walking outsid
    • Cuddling up on the sofa with a good boo
    • Spending time with an anima
    • Wholesome foods, heart-warming soups, casseroles and stew
    • A long relaxing bath with essential oils.

    These might not be ways in which you prefer to nourish yourself, but whatever it is that nourishes you, how can you take at least 30 minutes each week to create that time for yourself?

    Defined simply, “Self-care” is: Knowing one’s internal sources of energy and how to build a consistent flow through:

     

    Emotional awareness

    Awareness of one’s emotions and their effects on levels of energy

    Physical awareness

    Awareness of one’s daily load and the effects on mental and physical energy levels

    Respecting your personal capacity

    Recognising when everything is too much and putting practices in place to reduce overwhelm

    Positivity

    Maintaining a positive inner and outer dialogue that is positive and constructive

    Self-control

    Managing disruptive emotions and impulses through proactive behaviour

    Self-nourishment

    Taking regular time to nourish oneself to top-up the energy tank

     

    Reference: Working with Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman