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Category: Employee Wellbeing

  • Leadership – Can You Stomach It?

    “As with stomachs, we should pity minds that do not eat.”

    ― Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

    It is my gut feeling that this is the right time to address the topic of digestion, the stomach and the gut and how they relate to leadership.

    The saying in the English language “I can’t stomach it”, can refer to several things:  It can mean that you cannot eat a particular thing because of the texture, flavour, consistency, taste or smell which you find revolting, and consequently “cannot stomach”.

    It can also refer to a person “I can’t stomach him or her.”  Meaning that you cannot bear to be around a particular person. This might also refer to an activity, TV programme, event or food that the person using the phrase has experience of and which leads to such a violent response such as “I cannot stomach that programme.” Or I can’t stomach eating x.” 

    WATCH MY VIDEO HERE:

     

     

    WHERE DID THIS SAYING COME FROM?

    Leadership and digestionAfter extensive search in Google, I have sadly been unable to find the origin of this descriptive and physically felt phrase.  What I mean by this is that you can feel the reaction that your stomach might have to a particular person, issue, activity or foodWhere does the expression, “I can’t stomach him/her” come from? How linked are our emotions and digestion? when you put yourself in through thought only into that situation.

    The digestive system is highly intelligent and if we put something into our mouths that is going to cause a major physical reaction, the system already starts to reject it through reflux and vomiting before it has gone too far, limiting any physical damage.  This leads on nicely to the following saying that is also stomach or gut related:

    “WHY DO I BRING THIS UP?”

    Another saying related to the digestive system.  Usually when we use this term it is pre-empted with something like “I am sorry for bringing this up.”  Or “I would like to bring x up as it is……….”   We try to compensate or balance the potential emotional reaction we think the topic in question is going to stir up in terms of thoughts and emotions that have been hidden, buried or pushed aside in the hope that they might go away.   Lacking the courage or resilience to deal with a particular issue, leads us to “hide” it in order to avoid any scrutiny, not to mention “out of sight, out of mind”.  Perhaps the subject is taboo for some reason or buried as those involved do not want to deal with the consequences or reactions of raising the topic with all relevant parties.

    As managers and leaders it is important that we are able to address situations and people related issues that we find very difficult, perhaps because of those involved, fear of the consequences when “bringing it up” or maybe even the fear of rejection.  The stomach is the part of our anatomy that “digests new ideas and experiences that we have.”  It processes all issues connected with the mind and the emotions – personal power and sense of self.  When there are stomach problems, if we are in touch with our own intuition and feelings it usually means that we don’t know how to assimilate the new experience – we are afraid.  “What or who can’t you stomach?”

    THE PRINCIPLES OF LEADERSHIP

    One of the key principles of leadership is the courage to do and say what needs to be said through open, direct and clear communication to address issues that have been pushed under the carpet, and consequently those involved are not willing to deal with or alternatively hope the situation is not common knowledge.  It is not relevant whether we like a person or not.  It is about knowing the vision of why we exist as a team, department and company as well as knowing and living the values that guide decisions and actions.  Therefore, when for some reason a team member/s have deviated and is/are now under-performing, that we have the courage to follow our gut and address the situation and person/s openly.

    Constructive, open, fair, balanced and clear communication is necessary to help others firstly to recognise that their performance is suffering, to understand why it is below requirements, and then to find their own solution to rectify it.  This openness might be a “hard pill to swallow”.  Knowing the truth can sometimes hurt, however it is the truth that once swallowed leads to personal growth and development, not only of the employee, but the leader also.

    Interestingly, the throat centre (chakra) processes all issues of communication and expression, as well as trust, truth and true expression of who we are, our authenticity.  The throat connected to the mouth and feeding into the stomach is part of the digestive system.

    Knowing this fact as a leader can be useful to remind us that given the correct “food”, cooked in the correct manner might be difficult for the other person to accept, but when they do it leads to learning for all involved through open expression, one of the most important aspects of dynamic leadership.

    In conclusion, our digestion has a lot to do with effective leadership, not weakening a message, but structuring it in a way that makes it an acceptable “pill to swallow”, thus leading to a positive change in performance.   It is my gut feeling that by bringing up this parallel between the digestive system and leadership, even though for some it might raise issues that are difficult to overcome or to stomach, can only result in a healthy digestive system, working environment, and relationships.

    Bon appetite!

     

    To learn how we can help you and your organisation, email Rachel directly at rachel@greenkeypersonaldevelopment.com 

     

    References:  You Can Heal Your Life,  Louise L. Hay

    Spiritual Healing, Jack Angelo

     

    Rachel ShackletonRachel Shackleton is an entrepreneur who owns and manages Green Key Personal Development and Green Key Health. Working with local and multinational organisations, she is a public speaker and trainer in the spheres of leadership, communication and customer excellence. She ensures sustainable productivity and profitability through healthy self-management and leadership practices, ensuring a focused and successful workforce.

  • How Are Your Listening Skills?

    How Good Are Your Listening Skills?

    I like to listen.  I have learned a great deal from listening carefully.  Most people never listen.

    Ernest Hemmingway

    In order to manage the ever-increasing workload, our lives are focused to processing as much as possible in the shortest time,.  This is further compounded by social media – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and the like, all of which demand time, and to which it is easy to become a “slave”.  How are these demands affecting your listening?  Look over the table below and remind yourself of the difference between poor and effective listening.

    Poor v. Effective Listening Behaviour

    The Poor Listener:

    Is distracted by work, other people, interrruptions, noises etc

    Body is oriented away from the speaker 

    Gives no feedback (facial responsiveness, or other appropriate response 

    Ignores speaker’s non verbal communication

    Interrupts and waits to speak 

    Jumps to conclusions – focuses on symptoms and quick fixes

    Takes criticism personally

    Blames others.  Becomes defensive about the organisation or self and is judgemental and punishing when someone complains 

    Blames the organisation.  Takes the side of the person complaining

    Is thrown by stressed-out behaviour of others, and may become stressed-out in turn, Often lacks control of the situation

    Judges others by opinions – prejudices, shuts down listening

    The Effective Listener:

    Focuses on the speaker and what is being said

    Body is oriented towards the speaker 

    Gives feedback and participates appropriately 

    Tunes into the speaker’s non verbal communication

    Occasionally reflects and clarifies.  Allows the other person to finish what they are saying 

    Is patient.  Sees complaints and negative criticism as opportunity for problem solving and learning.  Focuses on underlying causes

    Avoids taking criticism personally 

    Suspends judgement as to who is to “blame”.  Has attitude to focus and find solutions which is seen as being more important than judgement

    Doesn’t blame.  Seeks solutions, is proactive for the future, not seeking revenge for actions in the past

    Realises the other person must have had to “psych up” to make a complaint, and has respect.  Makes allowances for the other person’s behaviour while listening

    Suspends judgement on others – listens to what is being said, not who is saying it

    Listens with head and heart

    Skilled Listeners:

    • Pay attention – focus to the speaker
    • Indicate interest
    • Listen without judgement or prejudice
    • Observe and notice others’ body language and vocal usage
    • Ask questions to expand the other person’s thinking
    • Use the feedback loop to check understanding and show listening

  • In pursuit of perfectionism

    Perfect or perfection is often thrown about in the business world as a desired state.  This might be voiced as an exclamation – “Oh perfect!”, as a statement, related to a particular desired outcome – “That is almost perfect?”  Clearly from the last sentence we can see that something is missing, not aligned correctly, has a small flaw and therefore in some way it does not achieve the status of “perfect” or “perfection”.

    When looking into the dictionary at the definition of “perfect” and “perfection” we see:

    Perfect –  “Complete and correct in every way, of the best possible type or without fault”. (Cambridge English Dictionary).

    Perfection – “Quality of being, as good at it is possible for something of a particular kind to be”.  (Collins English Dictionary)

    How do we define if something is perfect or not?  Of course when talking about figures in terms of achieving targets and goals, it is clear, you either achieve that figure, therefore its perfect, or you do not – a state of not being perfect.  For other situations and for behaviour we create parameters for measuring the end result, which then matches or it does not match and therefore is perfect or not.  However, what about being a perfectionist?  Someone who strives for the perfect result, which they decide is the final result and whether in their own eyes is perfect.  “A person who wants everything to be perfect and demands the highest standards possible”. (Cambridge English Dictionary)

    When being a perfectionist or working for a boss who is a perfectionist, very often nothing is ever quite right, or good enough in some way, in other words it does not meet expectations.   Their expectations!  As a perfectionist how does this affect your life?  Very often you create your own stress around improving that result so that it becomes perfect.  The time “invested” in this last effort to create perfection, drains your resources through nervous energy, missing deadlines and being overly hard on yourself.  Not only do you suffer, but possibly so do those around you who have to wait while you achieve this perfection, have to deal with your emotional instability whilst you strive for that perfection and perhaps even try to negotiate you around to accepting what you have done is already “perfect” because it meets their expectations and the agreed parameters, or indeed the result is even better than they expected and they prefer the outcome, even though it is not exactly what was agreed according to those same parameters.

    On the other side is that fact that being a perfectionist means that you do not make mistakes, defined as “Atelophobia” (taken from Greek) or the fear (phobia) of being imperfect (atelo).  If you do not make mistakes, how and what can you learn because you are already perfect?

    Working for a boss who is a perfectionist can be demotivating, destabilising and frustrating, as nothing is ever good enough.  This means the feedback is always half-hearted at best, – “Well, I like what you have done so far.  If you just work on this bit in XYZ way, it will be perfect!” “You have produced something that is good, in order to improve on that, why don’t you change this and then it will be perfect?”, and so on.  I am sure these and other similar statements are familiar.  I am also sure that over time hearing such feedback undermines your confidence and motivation, because you realise that whatever you do, you will never get it quite right, and therefore why put in the effort?  Leaving you with a feeling of being undervalued.

    Performance, self assessment and stress are directly related.  Striving for perfection, does it change anything in the result and outcome, the investment of energy, analysis, action and so on?  How we assess ourselves is a reflection of self confidence, being a perfectionist is one of the quickest ways to undermine yourself and your self confidence.  Stress – pushing and pulling, putting in those extra hours to achieve that last tweak, that last re-model, re-work or other to achieve that level of perfection takes away from a balance of work to home life, sports, activities and friends, which can end up with self disappointment, beating yourself up for not being good enough, and potentially affecting your health through decreasing immunity to infections and viruses, stomach ulcers, and headaches, fatigue and perhaps in the worst case scenario even adrenal exhaustion.  Not to mention the fact that your family will suffer as will your friendships.  For what?  Knowing when you have achieved the goal and stopping there giving yourself the reward and satisfaction is key to self management and strong self confidence.

  • Does your working day eat into your lunch break?

    As with most things in the UK around working hours and conditions there is legislation that dictates the amount of hours worked in relation to the time allocated and legally allowed for a break.  I would suggest that most companies are not only aware of this, but also follow the legislation, explaining to employees the amount of time they are entitled to for a break and in some situations, such as restaurants, and other service institutions, when that break can be taken.   On the other hand there are jobs such as couriers who are paid by the number of deliveries and not by the hour who probably focus more on earning capacity, rather than taking a break to eat something.  Despite all the legislation, lunch breaks are being swallowed up as we resign to eating lunch at our desk, opting to earn more, or to go home early.  Not exactly “al fresco”, but “al desko” dining, or quickly popping out for a take-away of some kind, which is eaten on the hoof before returning to the desk.

    Is the lack of respect for the lunch break self-imposed or a reflection of the ever-increasing pressure and changing work culture?  Does the employee feel comfortable in taking a full lunch break, or is there an unspoken rule that this is not acceptable and therefore, frowned upon?

     

     

    What are the benefits of taking time for lunch?

    Effective digestion – There are the obvious benefits of getting away from the desk to stretch a little, exercise, get out into some fresh air, and if going with someone, talk about something else, socialise and unwind. Furthermore, from a digestion point of view, focusing on what we eat helps to begin the process of digestion, therefore starting natural salivation in the mouth in readiness for the arrival of food, which in turn stimulates the release of stomach acid.  Proper digestion, means avoiding that uncomfortable feeling of bloating and heaviness associated with indigestion or having that “sugar high” and then a major energy slump an hour later.

    Mental and Physical Performance – Proper digestion is connected directly to physical and mental wellbeing. Ensuring the body is able to absorb  nutrients, vitamins and minerals needed for work performance, needs time to begin the process of digestion.  Working through a break, or eating at the desk, when a regular practice, is false economy because the digestive system is compromised, thus affecting nutrient absorption that ultimately takes its toll on performance with the inevitable slump in energy.   Whereas taking time to leave the desk to “switch off” and enjoy what you are eating, helps in creating the right environment for digestion as well as alleviating work pressures and stress, thus leading to enhanced performance.

    Mental performance is also lowered due to increased screen time.  Our mental performance is directly linked to the ability to make decisions.  It is the pre-frontal cortex that is involved in making decisions and in executive function.  This connects to other brain networks in order to regulate behaviour, mood, thought and emotion. The pre-frontal cortex is highly susceptible to stress, which when overloaded can result in poor decision-making, inability to focus effectively and over time lead to tension headaches, mood swings and depression.

    Better Weight Management – It is common knowledge that weight management is important. Overweight means we put stress on our body functions and all the organs in the body.  Besides this obvious point, being overweight you often feel uncomfortable and lack energy, as well as self-confidence.  Taking time to eat slowly and mindfully and getting some movement or exercise during a break are both important to managing weight.  The World Health Organisation has identified physical inactivity as the fourth leading risk factor in global mortality.  Being overweight and leading a sedentary lifestyle can lead to such diseases as hypertension, diabetes and coronary heart disease.  Lack of movement through sedentary behaviour lowers energy required to perform well.  “Moreover, physical inactivity is estimated to be the main cause for approximately 21–25% of breast and colon cancers, 27% of diabetes and approximately 30% of the ischemic heart disease burden.” (World Health Organisation)

    Tips for Improving Digestion

    1. Eat when relaxed.  Avoid eating when stressed as energy is diverted and digestion is compromised.
    2. Be mindful about what you are going to eat, stimulating saliva and gastric juices prior to putting food in your mouth.
    3. Sit comfortably, and upright when eating, avoiding slumping as this means food cannot travel easily to the stomach and intestines.
    4. Be relaxed and breathe, thus relaxing the brain and helping the body to switch on the digestive process.
    5. Eat slowly so as not to dump large chunks of food into the digestive tract.  Well-chewed food is more easily broken down and nutrients absorbed to provide not only the feeling of satiety, but also the energy needed to continue with your day.
    6. The body needs time to register when it is full, therefore avoid eating quickly to allow the system time to register and feel satiated.
    7. Enjoy the process of eating, take time to notice the smells, flavours and textures of your food.
    8. Eat until you feel comfortable.  Avoid overeating as this stresses the digestive system, and leaves you feeling tired with the inevitable afternoon slump in energy.
    9. Try to get at least 15 minutes exercise during your break especially if you have a sedentary job as movement helps to oxygenate the blood, increase blood flow to the brain, and alleviates any feelings of being stressed.
    10. Preferably walk or exercise outside as fresh air boosts the levels of oxygen in the blood, and through exposure to the sun also helps the body to create vitamin D needed for many functions in the body, including mood regulation. 

    With the increase in mental ill health in the workplace, encouraging employees to go out for lunch is a one step towards helping decrease stress and increase work performance through greater focus and attention, increased energy and a positive, constructive mood.

     

    References:

    https://www.who.int/dietphysicalactivity/pa/en/

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28358570

    Optimum Nutrition www.ion.ac.uk

  • Emotional intelligence & self-care: the missing competence?

    Emotional intelligence & self-care: the missing competence?

    Daniel Goleman the author of “Working with Emotional Intelligence”, talks about several competencies under “Personal” and “Social” competencies – Self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, motivation and relationship management/social skills. Perhaps it is now time in our world of intensity, fear, overwhelm and stress to add one more competence – “Self-care?”

    In our present-day world, on most corners you meet headlines referring to poor mental health, burnout, stress and overwhelm. Where are we going wrong? For the last several years we have been bombarded with external factors that have created this undercurrent of fear that continues to steadily eat away at human resilience with no sign of abating. Workload is another of the biggest factors in our daily lives to impact our physical and emotional energy resources. Feeling fearful and or overwhelmed means a sense of loss of control. When we are not feeling in control due to the “unknown” – Covid, inflation, petrol prices etc as well as due to impending deadlines, sheer volume of work and a lack of appreciation we leak energy just like a tyre on your car with a slow puncture, that over time leads into a downward spiral until you are literally “flat”. Eventually resulting in poor health as the endocrine system tries hard to rectify the constant onslaught of “fight and flight” reactions.

    What is Self-care?

    Considering “Self-care” from the point of view of Emotional Intelligence, in my opinion it is a combination of “self-awareness” and “self-regulation”. In other words, the ability to listen to yourself and observe a change in reactions to everyday issues, such as being less patient, overly aggressive in your manner, moody and lacking joy, and then to tune into yourself and pay more attention to these changes to understand the real cause. Having understood the cause, whatever that might be to then put in place some actions to self-regulate. In other words, to “manage one’s internal states, impulses and resources” so that your thoughts, actions and overall behaviour no longer drain energy.

    In order to recognise when things are becoming too much “Self- care” goes a little deeper than self-regulation. It requires taking the foot of the pedal, putting practices in place that regulate work-volumes and deadlines to a point where you are stretched, but not over stretched as to over-stimulate the “fight and flight” response, taking down-time and generally assisting your internal physical and mental mechanisms to return to a state of homeostasis. In short-term circumstances when it is temporarily not possible to take your foot off the pedal to put several actions in place that positively support your energy system, for example:

    Pause, breathe deeply for 3 in and out breaths – always ensuring the out-breath is longer than the in-breath. In this way you slow down your emotional reactions and bring an inner calm to the situation. Using this technique in the moment is very useful when your response would otherwise have been reactive and reckless.

    Create space and time for yourself every day – During this time, which might only be 10-20 minutes a day, stay away from digital distractions and invest time in yourself walking, meditating and generally connecting with yourself. Taking time out creates the space in which to assess, evaluate and tune into your thoughts and emotions around different situations. For effective investment of time:

    • Avoid being distracted by messages, calls and other regular interruptions
    • If weather permits go out for some fresh air and if it doesn’t go out for some fresh air
    • Breathe deeply 3-4 times before tuning into your surroundings, the smells, sights and sound
    • Tune into yourself to acknowledge how you are feeling. Allow any negative feelings to manifest, acknowledge them and then let them g
    • Acknowledge the learning these feelings and emotions have given you and move on from that place.

    “Creating space for yourself on a daily basis, helps to regulate daily stresses and create that breathing space in order to “see” your emotional triggers.

    Respect your personal capacity – say “No” when you know it is one thing too much. Talk to someone when you feel overwhelmed and stressed. They will likely be able to see the “wood for the trees” and help find the way out.

    Keep your diet nutritionally rich – Avoid wheat and wheat-based foods. Wheat affects the brain as well as the body, causing stress to the digestive system and ultimately the brain as the two are inextricably linked through the gut-brain axis. If you want to get maximum energy from what you eat choose foods that support effective digestion and an agile mind:

    • Eat the rainbow on a daily basis in fruit and vegetable
    • Eat brain foods – oily fish such as mackerel, sardines, and salmo
    • Chose healthy fats full of omega 3 and 6 – avocado, olive oil and coconut oi
    • Eat good quality protein – grass-fed meat, fish, eggs, and protein from things such as whole grains, sesame seeds (humus), beans and legumes.

    Read my blog about the effect of what we eat has on our minds

    Keep hydrated – when not drinking enough water your body becomes stressed and therefore any additional external stressors accelerate the negative impact on how you feel. Keep a glass of water close by to sip on throughout the day. Aim to drink a minimum of 8 glasses daily.

    Avoid all energy drinks and caffeine – they all serve to dehydrate the body as well as overall increasing the drain on your energy. Before reaching for that caffeine boost, drink a glass of water first and then observe how you feel.

    Long term regulation of mind and body through “Self-care”

    Taking a longer term view on “Self-care” means that you put daily and weekly practices in place to ensure a consistent and constant source of energy to meet demanding periods in your life, which let’s face it we all have. Adopting this kind of practice helps in keeping your mind positive and agile and your body full of energy.

    As we are all unique, practices will differ from person-to-person. In order to find the right practices for you, ask yourself the following questions:

    • What brings me joy
    • What do I love doing
    • Who inspires me so that I want to spend more time in their energy
    • How can I nourish the whole of myself?

    In answering these questions, you begin to identify what activities will help you to switch off from whatever overwhelm, stress and negativity you are facing. In our lives there is abundance of joy, we just have to stop to see it. Is your real passion in baking, cycling, fishing, gardening or walking? How can you build more of this into your weekly routine? What kind of people bring you inspiration? Who are they and how can you see or speak to them as part of your week?

    When I think of personal “self-care” and nourishment, I think of several things:

    • Sitting on top of a hill or by a river and taking in the view emptying my head of circulating thoughts and conversation
    • Taking an afternoon powernap. 10-20 minutes of “switch off” in peace and quie
    • Switching off connectivity and walking outsid
    • Cuddling up on the sofa with a good boo
    • Spending time with an anima
    • Wholesome foods, heart-warming soups, casseroles and stew
    • A long relaxing bath with essential oils.

    These might not be ways in which you prefer to nourish yourself, but whatever it is that nourishes you, how can you take at least 30 minutes each week to create that time for yourself?

    Defined simply, “Self-care” is: Knowing one’s internal sources of energy and how to build a consistent flow through:

     

    Emotional awareness

    Awareness of one’s emotions and their effects on levels of energy

    Physical awareness

    Awareness of one’s daily load and the effects on mental and physical energy levels

    Respecting your personal capacity

    Recognising when everything is too much and putting practices in place to reduce overwhelm

    Positivity

    Maintaining a positive inner and outer dialogue that is positive and constructive

    Self-control

    Managing disruptive emotions and impulses through proactive behaviour

    Self-nourishment

    Taking regular time to nourish oneself to top-up the energy tank

     

    Reference: Working with Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman

     

     

  • Empathy – A Business Case

    Empathy, one of the characteristics or we might say building blocks of emotional intelligence, is an essential aspect of effective leadership. Amid the hurried lives we live today and the demands from employers, family members, government and  ourselves for many and varied reasons, often means we are rushing here and there and consequently might say things in conversation that we don't mean or miss things that someone is either trying to say or has said that are important. The bottom line, empathy ends up taking a back seat.

    Empathy is not sympathy it is the ability to experience the moment in response to a customer, colleague or employee in a manner that “connects” directly to that person, sharing briefly the emotions that the person might be feeling without taking them on yourself. It has an impact on those involved in that moment as well as longer lasting through a relationship of trust, as well as the organisation bottom line. Customer experiences make the difference between them becoming loyal customers or choosing to go elsewhere. In most cases there are plenty of “elsewhere” companies ready to serve customers who have had a poor or even bad experience with your service offering. In the current labour market, it is not just the external customer who might choose to go elsewhere, but your employees, your internal customer also. Now with the possibility to work from home in many job roles, it has removed the need to be based in a particular geographic location, making the employment market a job seekers market, rather than employer market making hiring the right person so much more difficult.

    The 2020 NTT Global Customer Experience Benchmarking Report stated that, “Companies who focus on a customer/employee centricity see a 92% increase in customer loyalty with an 84% uplift in revenue and a 79% margin in costs saved. 

    The rising importance of employee service (EX) according to the survey, “94% of CEOs agree that making EX improvements that empower employees and drive efficiencies will improve CX and directly affect net profit. Furthermore, the study explains, “Organizations that strongly identify as being an employer of choice are almost twice as likely as those that do not achieve promoter-level CX performance. Those that have improved their EX capabilities and significantly increased their levels of employee satisfaction in the last year also show a 30% increase in their share of customer value or wallet (including customer retention).”

    Empathy is the linchpin to delivering excellence in customer service as well as for those delivering service to customers. Equipping leaders through the development of emotional intelligence and the skills of showing empathy to team members is no longer questionable in terms of importance to business performance, or even optional, but essential. 

    The key competencies within empathy according to Daniel Goleman (Working with Emotional Intelligence) are:

    • Sense others' feelings and perspectives 
    • Take an active interest in others' concerns
    • Sense others' development needs and support their development
    • Anticipate, recognise and meet customers' needs 
    • Read emotional undercurrents and power relationships
    • Cultivate and build opportunities through different kinds of people

    The aspect of sensing others’ feelings and perspectives of empathy includes several points that are particularly relevant to leaders and those working in customer service:

    The ability to sense and understand feelings, concerns and perspectives of others through intuition. The feeling aspect is the challenge for the development of AI tools to effectively support employees who provide customer service, truly giving them time to listen and respond empathetically. This likely involves examining interactions, work processes and flows as well as considering overall employee wellbeing. 

    Judith Orloff once said, “Empathy is the medicine the world needs.” This statement sums up the reason why we need this important skill in business to foster the growing need for businesses to encourage empathy centricity in their organisation and work culture both internally and externally. 

     

    Tips for Developing Empathy

    Developing empathy to work with others and communicate effectively takes time and effort, but with willingness and the ability to self-reflect this is a skill everyone can develop and benefit from. Below are some suggestions in how to develop empathy for interacting and understanding others.

    Practice self-disclosure – Self disclosure involves sharing feelings, opinions and thoughts about yourself with others. It demonstrates openness and honesty and leads to a greater sense of ease when communicating, building trust and rapport. Being able to self-disclose develops the ability to show empathy towards others.

    Practice being an empathetic listener – Listening, is about being present in the moment while paying close attention to the other person’s emotions, body movement, gestures, tone of voice and language. It is about showing empathy and understanding rather than evaluating or judging. When listening empathetically you listen not only with your head, but your heart as well. You are oriented towards the person giving them full attention, avoiding any temptation to check an email, answer a text or interrupt in order to speed them up or because you have decided you know what they are going to say. The risk of frustrating the customer when processes require service givers to complete a customer conversation within a set period of time can be detrimental to the overall goal of providing excellent customer service. For example, in a call centre where call length is a key performance indicator (KPI), as is number of calls processed by each agent, ignoring the difficulty of some of those calls by negatively hurrying both service giver and customer, impacting behaviour, tone of voice and response.

    Practice emotional scanning – Tune into the emotional state of others and your team as a whole to sense the prevailing emotional climate at any moment in time. This is achieved through noticing body language, tone of voice, the topic and content of what people are talking about as well as asking, how an individual or group are feeling at any point in time and then responding appropriately.

    Match and mirror – Being able to match means that you closely observe the behaviour of the person to whom you are talking and then adapt your behaviour to better match theirs. For example, if they are speaking slowly, you slow down to match that. This adaptation is called "mirroring". Do not copy or mimic them exactly, the goal is to narrow any gap to be less different and help them feel at ease. Invariably the response is sub-conscious in that they simply feel comfortable with you and as a result the conversation will be more open and trusting.

    Ask open questions – Avoid jumping immediately into offering a solution, some advice or what they "should do" by proposing your own perspective and opinion on the subject. Instead ask open questions to understand the situation and how they feel about it, noticing what they say and how they say what they are saying. The use of open questions and listening to the answers, invariably helps the other person to find the solution for themselves, which is more powerful than any personal advice.

    Keep a journal – spend a few minutes each day writing down how you reacted in one or two different situations. Assess whether empathy was needed and if so did you respond appropriately. How did the other person react? If you feel that you got it right, try to understand and identify what you did in that moment. If on the contrary, you feel you got it wrong, be open and honest with yourself and identify why you responded incorrectly. Think about whether there is something you can do to correct the situation when you next see the person and if there is, do it.

    Empathy is a skill that can be learned. The ability to show empathy with internal customers and to external customers is a foundation stone to building loyalty by reducing churn, increasing job satisfaction and in turn increasing organisation profitability and overall reputation.

     

    References

    Working with Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman (1999)

    The Language of Emotional Intelligence, Jeanne Segal, Ph.D, Jaelline Jaffee, Ph.D

    Leadership in Easy Steps, Jon Poole

    https://services.global.ntt/en-us/insights/2020-global-cx-benchmarking-report#

     

     

  • Employee development – a cost or an investment?

    EMPLOYEE DEVELOPMENT – A COST OR AN INVESTMENT?

    I was recently staying in a hotel on the Salford Quays.  For purposes of my blog I will only say that it is a well known international brand.  Not a huge hotel, and therefore potentially able to give guests a more personal experience.   There was nothing particularly different about this hotel – the décor rather minimalistic, fresh and clean looking, but the rest was the same, as any other hotel brand.

    There were several employee-guest interactions during my stay apart from the obvious checking in and out.    The toilet required a “Tarzan” type figure to flush it, the pillows were hard and about 18” deep as well as the need for general directions to where I was going.  Sadly not on any of these occasions was I referred to by name.  The person was empathetic, if needed, efficient in all cases, but did not take the opportunity to personalize our conversation, despite having the information on the computer before her eyes.  What would stop me staying in another hotel next time?  Absolutely nothing!  The location was no more convenient than competitors, the rate certainly not more beneficial, value for money – “No nothing there”.  Personalised and individual service – “No”.

    Staff training and development is perhaps even more important when times are tough.  Sadly staff development is usually the first budget that gets cut.  Is this a luxury or a necessity?   Neglecting personal and professional development of employees and management is a false economy.

    Staff don’t wait for the budget to come along to plan out their needs and create their own path of development.  They do this with or without the company’s help.  If they don’t feel they are getting what they want in your company they will take their skills and go elsewhere.

    What tangible benefits can you expect from implementing an employee training and development plan to inspire and grow individuals and teams:

    • Improved productivity through effectiveness, reduced wastage and a smarter approach to “doing”
    • Reduced sickness and absenteeism due to a happier more fulfilled workforce
    • Reduced staff turnover
    • Increased loyalty and engagement which correlates with increased customer satisfaction
    • Increased profits

    In addition to this, though less tangible are other benefits such as:

    • Increased motivation, team spirit and morale
    • A feeling of being valued and therefore a happier place to work, thus directly impacting turnover  
    • Happier customers – would you, as a customer prefer to go where you are known and valued, perhaps even paying more, or where no one knows you?

    Retention of customers is through personal recognition, we all want to go where we feel valued, referred to by name and where our business is welcome.

    Will I stay in this hotel next time – unlikely!  I will go back to the hotel where I stayed previously, with the added bonus of a lower room rate.  More importantly, a hotel, where I am addressed by name by a smiling person, who genuinely loves what he or she are doing.

    Where is the cost and where is the investment?  The business, in this case a hotel where you go once and don’t return or the business with repeat loyal customers?

  • Employee Engagement

    Employee engagement is a workplace approach resulting in the right conditions for all members of an organisation to give of their best each day.  It means they are committed to their organisation’s goals and values, motivated to contribute to organisational success, with an enhanced sense of their personal well-being.

    The 2018 Glint report on the “State of Employee Engagement” states that most participants believe that less than 70% of their employees are engaged’ and that “over 90% believe there is solid evidence linking engagement to performance.”

    Engagement has an impact on a number of performance indicators including product quality, customer service and productivity.  It is logical therefore to extend the thought that poor engagement whilst affecting performance in terms of productivity and profitability will also have a direct link to absenteeism and sickness which is likely higher when there is no engagement.  When looking at MIND figures in relation to mental ill health and sickness, the figures are staggering:

    • More than 1 in 5 employees have called in sick to avoid work when asked how workplace stress has affected them
    • 30% felt that they would not be able to tell their manager they felt stressed

    The second point is directly related to engagement or non-engagement of employees due to negligent or ineffective leadership.

    Engaging employees in their work, the company culture and values is the responsibility of leaders within each organisation. In other words – creating the right environment, building trust, nurturing relationships, and being transparent.  Leadership behaviour is itself driven by the organisational culture and company values.  The old saying of “the fish stinks from the head down” adequately sums up the need within an organisation to ensure senior management lead by example and roll down company values, ensuring they are manifested throughout the organisation.

    Engagement can be measured in different ways.  However, to be effective it is likely that the process is continuous and uses a combination of ways, such as:

    • Formal employee surveys – will get the feedback that is needed to lead to relevant change, so long as employees feel safe to answer openly.
    • Exit interviews – taking the time to really find out why an employee is leaving is critical to reflecting on what can be done better, whilst also providing feedback about the environment and culture to the manager of the person who is leaving.
    • One-to-ones with managers – Work very well when there is an atmosphere of trust.  Without trust, it may bring limited results.
    • Customer satisfaction ratings – The customer is the one who truly bears the brunt of poor employee engagement, experiencing poorly motivated service people, with a “don’t care” attitude. Thus, hearing about their experiences is a very important gauge whilst also providing pointers for improvement.
    • Employee productivity – measured in different ways, is a valuable measurement of employee engagement.  Low productivity very often reflects low engagement and vica versa.

    How can managers and leaders influence engagement levels?

    Again there is no one answer, there are several answers and in reality a combination of different actions are needed to positively influence employee engagement:

    • Give employees the chance to do quality work
    • Maintain a positive work culture
    • Listen carefully to employee feedback
    • Communicate clear expectations to employees
    • Encourage employee collaboration
    • Build a trusting environment through being fair
    • Give positive feedback and praise employees for their performance
    • Train and coach

    It makes sense that employee engagement is part of the core business strategy. Engagement on a consistent basis will pay dividends in increasing productivity, thus profitability. The work place will be a happier place to be and consequently increase pride in doing quality work and serving customers, as well as succeeding in achieving department and company goals.

     

    References:

    The State of Employee Engagement 2018 HR.com

    Managing for Sustainable Employee Engagement, CIPD

    https://www.managers.org.uk/knowledge-bank/employee-engagement

    https://www.Mind.org.uk

  • Employee Engagement Stagnates while Mental Health Escalates

    With the advent of the still recent fallout from the pandemic and the impact on society we are seeing an acute escalation in mental ill-health disorders including anxiety, depression, ADHD in children especially, and fatigue. Could there be a link between employee engagement and the need for “social belonging as well as the need for individual autonomy and achievement?” Bruce Alexander the author of “The Globalisation of Addiction: A study of Poverty and the Spirit,” professor emeritus of psychology at Simon Fraser University thinks this is so, naming it “psychosocial integration”.

    Organisations are dealing with a tidal wave of mental ill-health amongst employees and in efforts to support those employees and combat this wave provide aspects of education around the topic, train mental health first-aiders and provide help lines via dial in phone services to those who might need help when feeling desperate. Whilst honourable and necessary, are these actions:  

    1. Correct? 

    2. Enough?

    3. Dealing with the real cause?

    In this blog I am going to try to answer these questions, if not fully answering them to at least put some meat on the bones and give further food for thought.

    Without this integration of social belonging, autonomy and achievement, an individual has conflict between belonging and being oneself which in turn undermines authenticity and the need to belong which might manifest as some form of mental ill- health, lack of confidence and self-esteem and consequently lead to withdrawal, ultimately affecting productivity whether at work or in one’s personal life. In other words, a “dislocation” to oneself, to others and a sense of meaning and purpose, consequently likely asking questions such as, What am I here for both in an organisation and life in general? What is my role and how is my contribution valued? 

    Bruce Alexander likens this state to a dislocated shoulder. “It is a shoulder out of joint, disarticulated. This is not treated by cutting the arm off, so the arm continues to just hang there, unable to work, while at the same time being very painful. This is how “dislocated” individuals feel – useless and in pain.”

    Dislocation does not only happen to individuals but can also happen to groups working in organisations when they are cut off from autonomy, trust and meaning, more often than not through poor leadership. Leaders who choose to micromanage, not allowing individuals and the team as a whole to take autonomy and grow through working within broader parameters, but at the same time with clear goals. The scary thing about social dislocation is that it is now our normal. Prior to the pandemic it was already growing in western societies, but now has fully ballooned in our cultures and most noticeably in work cultures within organisations, leading to the acute escalation in mental ill-health. 

    A recent Gallup poll, January 2014 of US employees identified that only 33% of employees feel engaged at work! Specifically noting that “Employees still feel more detached from — and less satisfied with — their organizations and are less likely to connect to the companies’ mission and purpose or to feel someone cares about them as a person.”

    Part of this is caused by misidentification through material gains and status. When these gains disappear our identity and security goes with it. How many people do you know or perhaps you experienced it yourself who lost their job and consequently their house, car and the lifestyle to find themselves without any so-called friends and perhaps even their partner? This loss is being experienced more and more by individuals questioning their worth both in jobs that carry a professional image in society, such as doctor, lawyer and accountant as well as those whose roles have less apparent status, but never-the-less require long hours in toxic environments ruled by KPI’s and other productivity markers, or bonus schemes connected to individual and group output, but with little attention to the importance of sharing feedback that shows their performance really matters and makes a valuable contribution. This is further exacerbated since the advent of the internet when everyone is expected always to be “on”. It is a bit like chasing a never-ending result that when achieving there is hunger and further drive for more from those in charge within the organisation, leaving those charged with delivery questioning the cost to them due to an inflated view of personal identity, self-importance, material rewards or ambition and the pay back and whether that pay-back is in balance with their effort and the rewards.

    How does all this link to mental and physical health? It is well known that those who lead a meaningful life are more likely to be mentally, physically and emotionally healthy. Having this knowledge, how are organisations tapping into this foundation of helping individuals and teams be their best which not only serves the employee interests, but the organisation interests as well?  It is clear how many organisations use the importance of belonging to promote their products through selling meaning and identification and a sense of belonging through the brand. Take Apple for example. It now has almost a cult following to share in the belonging giving the impression that a particular iPhone is tailored to your exact needs with the question and chosen imagery of “Which iPhone is right for you? Of course, Apple is not the only one, this is a well-known marketing approach amongst all in business whether large or small organisations.

    While such marketing messages have been in our societies for many years, the question is at what cost? Encouraging individuals to lose their self-identity in pursuit of a product that helps them feel they belong. It is very sad that individuals might be building their identify, self-confidence and self-esteem on a product. Surely there is something wrong here?  Does each organisation provide that much needed belonging, sound self-confidence and esteem to fill that gap by encouraging employees to belong in a way that has a strong foundation and breeds good health and wellbeing, or is this simply a marketing ploy, that is all about driving productivity and goal achievement for the benefit of an increased bottom line? 

    Forgetting that employees are human and they give of their best when they are given autonomy, clear direction as well as being treated in a way that fosters a feeling of belonging, care, gratitude for the value they deliver within an open, honest environment that listens, shows empathy and concern when needed, and above all creates social belonging might just be fuelling the pandemic in mental ill-health.

    References 

    https://www.gallup.com/workplace/608675/new-workplace-employee-engagement-stagnates.aspx?version=print

    The Myth of Normal, Gabor Mate & Daniel Mate

  • Fears and Phobias – 7 Tips to Overcome them

    The NHS defines a phobia “as an overwhelming and debilitating fear of an object, place, situation, feeling or animal. Phobias are more pronounced than fears.” On the other hand, the Merriam Webster dictionary defines fear as “an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger.” From these two definitions we can see some parallel and cross over in understanding that both phobias and fears are slightly different, but never-the-less linked with the underlying factor of fear. In my own words, phobia is something that is overwhelming and debilitating deeply affecting our lives in some way, whilst fear is something that can cause us to behave differently to our so-called normal behaviour.

    When considering animals in the wild, such as a herd of zebra. Zebras will be grazing quite peacefully when all of a sudden, they intuitively know that there is some kind of threat or danger lurking close by. The natural response is to go into alert mode, which drives the fight or flight reaction. There is no worry, circulating thoughts, deliberation or similar, they simply look around for the threat and take the necessary action to either run (flight) or stay and fight for survival. Once the perceived threat has gone, the herd go back to grazing peacefully, as if nothing had happened a few minutes earlier. The threat of being eaten is an accepted part of being a zebra. Perhaps not a pleasant part if you are the chosen one!

    In our human world, we tend to intensify our fears through an unhealthy rumination of negative thoughts that often distort the real picture, leading to poor decision-making, lack of sleep and other bodily symptoms that often cannot be identified medically. This does not mean to say that fear does not exist and that we do not feel it, infact the opposite. It is real, and our mind and body do feel it. With a phobia the degree of fear is intensified to the point where it becomes and is debilitating.

    In the face of danger, what stops us from making that decision and just doing it anyway? To leap over the perceived barrier and to take that first step, only to find when we have done it that we are fine and the world around us is fine. There is no right answer to this question, as each one of us is different. We each have our own myriad of reasons that we explain to ourselves and those around us, rationalising the reasons why we are not taking steps to overcoming the fear. With a phobia there is no rationalisation, as the level of fear at whatever is causing the phobia or extreme fear has gone beyond that possibility until such time as the object, situation or feeling has been removed or we have been removed from it.

    However, that object, situation or feeling will always be a trigger unless a professional is recruited to help re-wire our brain to think differently about whatever it is that might be causing the phobia or overwhelming fear.

    What happens when we live in extreme fear of something, for example the fear of flying, not being able to feed your family, or the fear of going out and leaving your house for work, shopping or other reason?

    The fight or flight response becomes elevated causing a vortex of overthinking negative thoughts. Neurological sciences agree that as we think something and re-think something repeatedly, our neurological pathways become channelled and locked and we can, in some ways become what we contemplate.

    Our heart rate quickens, driving the release of perspiration in response to the sympathetic nervous system kicking into full alert. A mix of hormones, especially adrenaline and cortisol are released into the bloodstream and the heart sends messages to the brain via the Vagus nerve supported by an increase in neurotransmitters. All this before the largest part of the brain, the neocortex has had a chance to identify the nature of the emergency, whether life-threatening, shocking or something in between.

    The second phase, for want of a better description that occurs within milliseconds, is the receipt of information through the senses to the neocortex. As a result, an understanding forms about the situation and the fight or flight impetus is either modified or countermanded. With a phobia countermanding very seldom occurs as you can’t “see” and the neocortex becomes incapable of rationally judging the level of danger. It is the same fear that becomes abject fear resulting in control of bodily movements and behaviour.

    Once the trigger to the fear and in some cases, the phobia, has been removed, consciousness begins to take control of fight and flight reactions bringing about the slow return to normal through reversal of the extreme arousal process. This might result in expressing excess energy and emotion amassed seconds earlier through nervous laughter, tears, or even shouting, supported by relevant body language. All these responses are the body’s outlet for the release of pent-up emotions, ultimately resetting the amygdala’s warning light and as zebras do, returning to “grazing.”

    Unlike animals, what might not be reset is the hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenal axis (HPA), stress system. Actions of this system, especially the release and reabsorption of cortisol take considerably longer to reset, particularly when the threat is perceived to be overwhelming and/or chronic in the case of a phobia. Instead of the feeling of fear being overridden, modified or followed through, it becomes suppressed inside the body, leading to phantom pain and/or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

    If you believe that disease has an emotional foundation, which I do, fear is one of the cardinal emotions and when suppressed as with other cardinal emotions; guilt, anger and shame, it starts to lay the foundation for dis-ease. If an individual is already suffering from some form of disease or health condition, it will further compound the body’s stress reaction and need to re-balance through mobilisation of the immune system. In other words, draining resources to fight a condition that is emotionally draining vitality from the system.

    In the last couple of years with many incidences to be fearful of – Covid-19 and the messages used during lockdowns – “stay home – protect the NHS- save lives”, “stay alert-control the virus-save lives”, now rising energy costs and the fear of how to stay warm and pay the bills, rising petrol costs and the implications that this has on all aspects of modern-day living, continued threats of more dangerous Covid variants etc and the 24/7 news, social media messaging that is ever-present and hammering away at all these topics and many more not mentioned that keeps the fight and flight response switched on. This only serves to keep the HPA axis in heightened response while draining and weakening the immune system which in turn drains vitality and leads to sickness and the possible realisation of the fears that is driving it all.

    How do you stop the fear cycle?

    Love is the opposite of fear, which is the most important law of the universe. First love of oneself and second love of others. Love is all there is. The King James version of the Bible tells us: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear; because fear hath no torment”. While I would never describe myself as religious and with no dis-respect to those that are, these words make a great deal of sense to me.

    Is it now time to come together and focus on building communities through neighbourly support and help? To focus on the abundance that surrounds each one of us, even though some days it might not feel that way, celebrate lives within our communities and care for those that feel vulnerable and fearful and those who are suffering extreme fear or even phobia to go out and about in the world in which we live. To fully embrace the community spirit and to give and share joy to overcome the fear?

    Leadership, also plays an important role in building community, trust and openness to inspire and lead others, to build performing teams that exude joy, the sharing of wins and successes and the openness to challenge and discuss when not succeeding in a constructive, positive and decisive manner. In my opinion the foundation to effective and inspirational leadership is above all else to listen to one another with respect, presence and deep interest while nurturing and growing talent.

    Put your oxygen mask on first by doing some simple things that each one of us can do for ourselves which when we are all doing them make the pool of support, unconditional love, community spirit and joy ever-grow in size until it embraces all:

    1. Make time to be kind to yourself and those around you.
    2. Go inward to hear how your mind and body feel.
    3. Release pent-up emotions through forgiveness of those that might have hurt you.
    4. Share positivity, joy and humour.
    5. Give gratitude for the small things that bring joy, fun and appreciation each day.
    6. Be present to nature’s abundance and calming influence and as with every river, flow with ease allowing the undulating current to navigate the route smoothly, rather than trying to dam the natural flow or wade upstream against the current.
    7. Keep head and heart in balance and don’t be afraid to follow your heart as it is this that connects you to your soul path – your love and passion for life.

    “Love makes the world look beautiful. When there is love, there is beauty’. Haemin Sunim

    References

    The Spiritual Anatomy of Emotion, Michael A. Jawer, Marc S. Micozzi, MD, Ph.D
    Feelings Buried Alive Never Die, Karol K. Truman
    The Power of the Herd, Linda Kohanov

    Written by Rachel Shackleton – Green Key Personal Development