Best Recipes Ever

Category: Communication Skills Training

  • You scratch my back and i’ll scratch yours – the law of reciprocity

    In Robert Cialdini’s Influence: Science and Practice (2009), he describes the powerful rule of reciprocity as one of “the most influential dynamics of human behaviour, the reciprocation rule essentially states that if someone gives something to us, we feel obligated to repay that debt.”

    Reciprocation, “the quality or state of being reciprocal: mutual dependence, action, or influence.” (Merriam-Webster dictionary)  “To be reciprocal it is something that is given, felt, or done in return, (of an agreement or obligation) bearing on or binding each of the two parties equally.” (Collins English Dictionary)

    In Brexit negotiations, Theresa May has indicated that there could be an “implementation period” of up to two years after March 2019, in order to avoid a “cliff edge” that some have warned about. But some Brexiteers argue that this is too much and delays us leaving the EU. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/brexit-negotiations-tracker/

    Lets look at an everyday example of reciprocity which by the way translates perfectly across cultures, to understand the Brexit state of play. Take the example of going to a Moroccan Souk and you see a rug that would be just perfect in a particular location in your home.  The sales person starts high because of course he wants maximum price, but also within the Moroccan culture it is expected that you negotiate down, and this very fact is built into the price.  What happens when you show some hesitation or say “No” to the offered price?  You end up with a jug, pot or similar being thrown in, and all of a sudden you find yourself agreeing to the price with the pot included!  Did you want or need that pot?  Probably not.  It is simply that the deal looks fairer and therefore of more value.

    Looking at Brexit negotiations where is the “rug” and where is the “pot”?

    The Moroccan sales person could easily be representing EU negotiators, metaphorically speaking of course! Despite being offered various “throw ins” and communication going back and forth, you, the UK, decide it is time to walk away instead.  What would happen? Either he will come after you with the main concession of price, movement, trade etc, or will let you go in the confidence that you will return for that rug you so dearly want, because after all it is perfect.  This according to Cialdini’s (Six Principles of Persuasion) is rejection-then-retreat strategy of concession and as the rules of reciprocity further show, often this approach results in agreement to the deal you want, with the sales person adding even more “throw-ins” or concessions for future needs

    At what stage are we in the Brexit negotiations in terms of reciprocity?  Clearly the EU wants the UK trade as much as the UK want access to the EU market. Are our wants and needs too far apart, or is the EU simply negotiating like a Moroccan rug sales man and therefore keeping our eye on the ball, is it time to walk away and see what happens?

    We might ask the question – are we powerless to the strength of the rule of reciprocity?  Despite the rule’s unspoken influence, we have the ability to effectively discern, adjust, or simply say “No” to reciprocation.   We don’t need to reject the services, favours, or kindnesses of others, but we do want to evaluate intention, as well as our return concessions.  If we feel that we are being conned, walked all over or exploited, then Cialdini recommends that “we redefine the initial favour so that we no longer feel a need to respond with a favour or concession  (p. 49).” By knowingly engaging in the exchange of reciprocity, we can minimize the potential effects of exploitation.  “You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours!”

     

    References

    Cialdini, R.B. (2009).  Influence: Science and practice (5th ed.). Boston: Pearson Education, Inc. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/brexit-negotiations-tracker/

  • Trust Takes a Lifetime to Build and a Moment to Lose

    Successful leadership and trust go hand in hand.   Unless the leader has the trust of his or her team, leadership is likely to be ineffective and will probably fail on most levels.  Earning trust takes time, losing it is quick.  As leaders it is easy to find ourselves in situations that cast doubt over our trustability.  For example:

    Have you ever been:

    • In a situation when senior management have told you information that affects your team members, but for some reason you have been told not to share this with them?
    • Had to discuss the results of the bonus scheme calculation with one of your team members and because the scheme is not transparent it looks like you are “robbing” the person of what he or she understands they have earned?
    • Asked by senior management to support a particular decision which you personally disagree with, but you have to present this to your team as if you believe in the decision and support it whole heartedly?

    There are many other situations that I am sure you can think of which jeopardise trust built with team members.  These are dilemmas that leaders face on a daily basis.  How can these and other similar situations that question your trust be handled effectively to maintain trust?

    When considering options look for those that help you maximize the trust in your response with all concerned parties.  In my experience gained during my career of leading teams in different hotel departments and ultimately in my own company “Concept Training and Development”, I have always tried to be open and honest with my team and with other groups, whether senior management, customers and clients.  After all this is the way I would prefer others to be with me, even if I don’t like what they are telling me!   Treat people as you would like to be treated is an approach that I strongly support and live by.  Therefore, if going back to the first example above, does that mean that I betray senior management to be open and honest with my team?  No, it simply means that I tell team members openly and with empathy, that “I am not at liberty to share information at this time, due to what ever circumstance.  Once everything is clear and has been decided they will be informed.”

    Building Trust

    Living with integrity is a solid foundation on which others can learn to trust you.  For others to know who you are and to begin to trust you, they have to know what your beliefs and values are, and therefore what foundation you are using to make decisions.  Doing this over and over shows consistency and therefore builds reliability and trust of you.   We cannot expect everyone to share our values, however being prepared to listen to and accept others values is also an important aspect of building trust.  The following points are tips for encouraging and building trust in you, which I work with on a daily basis and which have proved to be reliable:

    • Demonstrate trust of others – this comes first.  If you show that you trust, it is likely that others will reciprocate. 
    • Say “thank you”.  Notice your team members and the contributions they bring, to other team members, to the team as a whole and to you personally.
    • Follow through on what you say you will do – be dependable and reliable.  If you have agreed to do something and find for some unknown reason that you cannot deliver, manage by informing those who have a vested interest in a timely manner– don’t wait for them to come to you and ask!
    • Be open and honest with feedback.  Giving negative, constructive feedback is not always easy, but it is in the interest of both parties to do so.  Be honest, constructive and sensitive, whilst being direct in order that the other person is not left guessing, does not feel steamrollered or treated unfairly. 
    • Stick to your commitments.  Do not idly talk about something which involves another person and “forget” about it later.  For example, if you agreed to work with a person to ensure their growth and development ensure you do so.  If you agreed to put someone forward for promotion if they fulfill certain tasks and demonstrate certain capabilities, do it!
    • Communicate with social intellect – if you can show that you understand the other person they are more likely to put trust in you.
    • If you don’t know, say so!  Just because you are the leader does not mean you have to know everything.  This enables team members to come forward with ideas – and you might just be surprised at the level of skill and knowledge within your team!
    • Above all learn from your mistakes.   As leaders it is unlikely that we will get it right every time, but learning from those mistakes is the minimum we can do.

  • What does death, dying and change have in common?

    I have just finished reading “On Death and Dying” by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.  Sadly this lady is no longer with us, however the work she did whilst on this planet is so very special in many ways.  Through her medical work she not only created a model for working with the death and dying to help with, what for some is a very difficult time, the acceptance that their journey on planet earth is coming to a end, but also providing the corporate world with a model for handling change (Kubler-Ross Change Curve).  Who would ever put these two things together?

    Whilst this book is not the easiest read, simply because of the subject, it highlights many things which as leaders we could do very well when applying it:

    Communicate Openly

    Holding back information from a loved one about their terminal illness, may on the surface feel the right thing to do.  However, the mere fact that you know means you subconsciously change your behavior, which means your loved one knows they are seriously ill.  As in business keeping the topic “closed”  does not mean those around you do not understand there is something going on.  Be open, don’t leave subordinates guessing.  Try to understand how they feel, what is important to them.   Avoid assuming you know how they will feel and react on hearing the “bad” news.  Communicate openly and make decisions together.   The beginning of coming to terms with something, is firstly knowing about it and what options there are, if any.

    Avoidance Does Not Help Anyone!

    Even though, the topic of dying is difficult, we should avoid burying our heads in the sand in the hope that it will go away, or that something miraculous will happen.  As leaders there are many situations which we would prefer not to deal with, for example handling conflict with others in our team, with our boss, dealing with difficult situations, making team members redundant and so on. These situations tend not to go away, nor does something miraculous happen, other than the situation becoming more urgent, in the very least, but more likely getting worse!  Have the courage to address and inform those involved, and then find the way forward together.  The result, as for the terminally ill is very often a relief as it is now in the open.

    Help Others Prepare for Change

    We all react differently to change.  Change tends to stir negative emotions.  It is quite normal and natural to ask the question – What does this (change) mean to me?  This then drives the questions – How do I feel?  What is stopping me from embracing this change?   Talking these questions through can be very powerful therapy and can help us all, irrelevant of the situation we face, to move on with commitment, and a  level of comfort.  Whilst for the dying, with peace and joy to let go.

    As leaders – How are you helping your subordinates, peers and colleagues go through change and embrace it positively, with commitment, despite any fear and an understanding that change is necessary both for them as well as the business?

    Don’t be Afraid to Let Go and Move On

    It is easy to sit at my lab top and think when the time comes, which it surely will, that I will end this life journey with ease.  Probably not!  The idiom, “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know springs to mind.”   For loved ones knowing that you can let them go with love, light and joy is so important to helping them stop the struggle and to let go.  Talking openly about this will help enormously.  As leaders in businesses,  we also have to have the courage to let go of the comfort zone we have created and move into the unknown for a short period of time whilst things once again find the norm.    Hanging on does not ease the pain.   It just prolongs it!

    Move into 2016 with courage, with passion and with enthusiasm.  Those that are meant to be with you will be with you.

    Best wishes for 2016.  Wishing everyone a fun journey, warmth and a compassionate heart.

  • What is the impact of morale on productivity?

    I have been working with a hotel client who has been undergoing a change in ownership from one owner to another.  Any kind of management buyout, transfer of ownership, or change of direction within an organization is guaranteed to create unease amongst the management and staff.   Fear of the unknown is always daunting irrelevant of how vital our position might be or how many times we have been through similar situations.

    Major change automatically, whether consciously or not, takes an individual out of their comfort zone and into the potential sphere of the unknown, with the ultimate impact of slowing down work ethic and productivity through comments such as “The new owners may not like it this way – lets wait.”  “The new owners will probably change this so no point in starting.”  “Why start something now when a new General Manager is coming in soon and he will for sure want something different?” And so on.  Sounds familiar?  This slowing down has its effect on the business through less productivity, less desire to sort out customer problems and more “private chats” in the corridor.  The overall effect usually sees a drop in staff morale

    My client supported the idea of a one day ‘Change Management” programme with elements of effective communication, as the foundation to sharing information – concerns, worries, problems etc   The main goals of the workshops were to:

    • Realize the new owners expect a change in service offered to guests
    • Feel excited and empowered to make those changes
    • Be motivated to want to stay with the new owner

    These goals, whilst appearing unambitious revealed an enormous amount of information about how personnel were feeling, giving them an opportunity to share in a non-threatening environment. Additionally, providing an understanding of where the real problems lay – lack of uniform, poor canteen food, unfair scheduling, the difference between how casual labour are treated against full time staff, lack of and poor communication throughout the operation, lack of working equipment, thus driving the need to hide their own equipment to avoid being embarrassed when serving the guest, to identify a few.

    What was the impact of all these points on the overall morale of the personnel and therefore the direct correlation in how they were communicating with and serving guests and clients?  Knowing you are starting the day looking worn out, with only eight hours between finishing one shift and starting the next.  A uniform that is no longer smart and fresh looking because you only have one, and on this particular day, had no time to wash and dry it before the new shift.  These examples have great impact on internal confidence and morale even before considering the lack of operating equipment needed to serve all customers in the manner that is expected and other issues such as scheduling, communication and taking responsibility.

    As managers and leaders, how can we ask “more” of team members under these circumstances?  Clearly, we cannot.  Addressing these issues and many more has provided a foundation to build trust and from this to start to excite and inspire individuals to believe in what they are doing and to work together to achieve levels of excellence expected from each and everyone in the team.

  • Where is the Honesty in Modern Leadership?

    Watching and listening to the various world leaders, no less my own, if “Boris” can be referred to as that, how important is it to work and lead your nation, your organisation, your department and most of all yourself with honesty and integrity?

    It was several days ago that “Boris” was photographed briefing his cabinet on the upcoming new and altered Covid rules which are to be rolled out to the nation.  There they all were sitting closely together around a table supposedly listening intently to what was being said.  Not a mask in sight.  Does that matter when the rules have been relaxed and masks are no longer compulsory?  Actually not, except for the fact that Boris was saying that masks in confined spaces, such as public transport, shops and offices are to be worn.  Is this a case of “Do as I say and not as I do”?

    This subtlety was not missed by our over eager press, and the health minister was later interviewed on the BBC about the message the photograph and particular incident was imparting to the general public, who incidentally, pay government representatives their wages, one would reasonably assume in return for doing their jobs.  In answer to the question from the interviewer, our health minister explained it as “The prime minister did say masks are to be worn if you are in confined spaces with strangers!”  Did we all miss something? Has the Corona virus suddenly found the ability to know who are strangers and who are not?

    Where is the Honesty in Modern Leadership?Where this is going, I have no idea.  However irrelevant of whether you like the current party’s politics or not, surely speaking the truth and working through honesty and integrity is vital to developing trust in those who follow you, not only in your leadership, but also in your goals, policies and direction?  That trust leads to a commitment to follow and implement recommended actions through a clear understanding of the reasoning behind what is being asked.  When there is no trust, it leads to the leadership style becoming more authoritarian and dictatorial in nature.  Perhaps this is the reason why governments have begun to micro-manage people through policies and processes around how to live our lives?

    In the example shown by “Boris”, leadership has drifted a long way from being honest with the general public.  In other words the people he leads. It seems that the leadership characteristic of being trustworthy is unimportant.  The fact that our prime minister is not referred to as Prime minister, Boris Johnson, or in the very least Mr Johnson, but simply “Boris” is reflective of the respect he has on the one hand earned and on the other is given by all he leads, meets and has dealings with. Even President Biden when talking about the new nuclear submarine deal referred to him as “Boris” and the Prime Minister of Australia as Prime Minister Morrison and not “Scott”.

    In an article featured in the IHCAN magazine (Integrated Healthcare and Applied Nutrition, September 2021) written by Ronald Bailey, the Science Correspondent for Reason and the author of several books, I was appalled to read the headlines “Zombie trials” and outright fraud: Why medical research is mostly fake news.  It further read “In a blistering editorial, former editor of the medical journal the BMJ, Dr Richard Smith has asked whether it’s time to assume that health research is fraudulent until proven otherwise.”  Smith continues, “We have now reached a point where those doing systematic reviews must start by assuming that a study is fraudulent until they can have some evidence to the contrary.”

    In his BMJ editorial work, Smith cites the work of Barbara K. Redman, author of Research Misconduct Policy in Biomedicine: “Beyond the Bad-Apple Approach.” Redman insists that the problem is not a problem of bad apples, but bad barrels, if not rotten forests or orchards.”  Redman points out that research misconduct is a systems problem as the system provides incentives to publish fraudulent research and does not have adequate regulatory processes.  She further explains that the research publication system is built on trust and peer review and is not designed to detect fraud. In other words, it is a system built on trust to be professional, and further science through this attitude and approach.  Apparently, journals, publishers, funders and research institutions have little incentive to check for fraud and a big disincentive against damaging their reputations by retracting studies.  This last point is staggering.  Surely, earning a reputation of being a fraudster and having your reputation desecrated is even worse?

    One of the greatest leaders of all time, Nelson Mandela once said “A bright future beckons. The onus is on us through hard work, honesty and integrity to reach for the stars.”

    Science is fundamental and affects so many aspects of our lives, starting with the obvious Corona Sars – Cov2 virus. If we can no longer believe our scientists as well as our world leaders, where does that lead us and where does that leave us?

     
    References

    Bailey, Ronald. (2021). Zombie Trials and outright fraud: why medical research is mostly fake news. IHCAN The practice and science of natural medicine, September, 42-42.
     
    WANT TO MAXIMAISE YOUR LEADERSHIP POTENTIAL? SEE OUR LEADERSHIP E-LEARNING COURSES!

  • Who or What is the Heartbeat of Your Organisation?

    Usually we talk about the heart in relation to our health or the health of someone else. The heart can be physically sick, such as a heart attack, angina, arrhythmia or heart failure. We also talk about a “broken heart” referring to emotional trauma of some kind. In the English language this means that someone or something has broken our heart and could be referring to the loss of a loved one, an accident or collapse of a relationship. But what about the heart of an organisation? Would you describe the heart of your organisation as emotionally and physically healthy?

    Who or what is the heartbeat of your organisation? An interesting and perhaps even unusual question. As I see it, an organisation is a living entity, it breathes and has a strong or weak heartbeat. The health of this living breathing entity is based on morale within the team, employee engagement, leadership openness, interest and ability to inspire those who are working with them, clarity of direction, communication consistency, positivity and honesty, teamwork through sharing the wins and openly discussing situations that require change or improvement in order to strengthen strengths and learn how to build and change performance that is not as successful as the organisation leadership or team in question want it to be.

    In answer to the question – the people are the heart and the heartbeat of any organisation and depending on how they are treated physically and emotionally will either result in a healthy or an unhealthy heart that misses a beat, struggles to function in some way or is clearly and obviously down-right sick!

    Let’s take an example: The British government. Most people whether British or otherwise will be able to diagnose the current government as definitely sick because the heart health of this government and the government heartbeat is erratic, slow, possibly due to hypotension and is showing signs of arrhythmia (abnormal heart rhythms). Are the arteries furring up due to poor flow of communication, lack of openness and trust? I’ll leave you to decide. This is not about whether you vote Conservative, Labour or otherwise, this is about the obvious lack of heartbeat from the head down within the government, which essentially is an organisation whose role it is to run a country.

    To fix the government or your organisation is it a case of going to the doctor? Probably yes, if those in charge are 1. Unable to see the problems, 2. Have no interest in solving them either due to lethargy or ego. 3. Lack the necessary leadership skills to address the issues constructively and fairly to keep blood flowing through the veins and the heart healthy. Going to the doctor will likely result in being put on medication or several if symptoms are varied. Does this solve the issue and lead to a healthy heart and heartbeat? Unlikely, but it will seem like things are back to “normal” functioning for a short period or until such time as the system can no longer tolerate the medication or requires a larger dose. And we all know that famous quote by Henry Ford, “If you do what you have always done, you will get what you always got.” What has to change?

    To quote Forbes “No man can deliver the goods if his heart is heavier than the load.”

    Fixing the heartbeat in an organisation requires clear goals that are shared openly and with everyone, leaders that are interested in achieving agreed goals while supporting and empowering individuals and teams to perform at their best through active coaching, nurturing and fairness. Finding individuals doing things right and encouraging more of the same. Openly addressing blockages and issues constructively to firstly understand and then work collaboratively to solve them, not just temporarily, but permanently. A short-term fix, if needed can hold issues satisfactorily while the long-term fix is put in place. Think of a short-term fix as a sticking plaster, it will at some point come off. Just as managers and leaders look at weekly and monthly reports on financial performance it is important to also check the organisation heartbeat in the same way. This can be done through some form of assessment tool or wellness report. When the relevant indicators are showing there is an issue, or might soon be an issue, be proactive in addressing this before the issue takes hold.

    How do you know the heartbeat of your organisation is struggling? The answer is the same as when a doctor looks at a blood test, it shows markers that could be related to different undesirable heart conditions.

    • Low morale – arrhythmia, furring up of the arteries, hypo or hypertension, a “broken” heart
    • Negativity and toxicity – hypertension, angina, pericarditis, myocarditis, fatigue, anxiety
    • Poor teamwork – furring up of the arteries, hyper or hypotension, anxiety
    • Poor performance – the heart is not in it! The blood is pumping, perhaps not optimally, but it is still pumping, just enough to get by with nothing to spare – Hypoxemia (a low level of oxygen in the bloodstream), lack of recognition – a “broken” heart.

    The health of your organisation is dependent on a healthy heart with a strong heartbeat and is as important as the health of your own heart and heartbeat. Zig Ziglar once said “Among the things you can give and still keep are your word, a smile, and a grateful heart.” A simple message for any leader.

    If you would like to ensure that your corporation is fit enough to tackle current and future challenges then contact me (Rachel Shackleton) for a free no-obligation chat.  

  • Why is Leadership Development Important?

     The Health & Safety Executive estimated that 31.5 million working days were lost due to work-related physical and mental health in 2022/23. If including work-related non-fatal injuries the figure is a staggering 32.5 million days lost to organisations and businesses. Think about the impact of lost workdays on your business?

    Is management of stress a function of leadership?  One could argue that it is up to the individual to regulate their own stress levels in order to manage what life throws at them, and therefore does not fall under the leadership role or umbrella.  However, if workdays are being lost from absenteeism due to overload and stress, it becomes every leader’s concern and issue. Surely, therefore, it is better to help employees manage their stress levels before it gets to the stage where they call in physically or mentally sick, thus increasing the urgency and pressure that someone going off sick creates on daily operations as well as those left behind to pick up the pieces. 

    Working with individuals on work-life balance, as well as with groups on self-leadership and leadership of others, I am seeing more and more people with adrenal stress, very often worked-related. Reasons for stress vary, some can be self-inflicted, such as striving to be a perfectionist, the inability to say “No”, poor time management, inability to delegate as well as procrastination by putting things off. As for external factors that might cause stress, the first one that springs to mind is living in a blame culture, thus creating an environment of fear. Inappropriate leadership styles and habits such as a boss who doesn’t listen, or a boss who can only influence and get things done by using manipulation techniques, a boss who lives in crisis due to poor planning and time management or a boss who is unable to communicate effectively, displaying chameleon type behaviours, swinging from one mood to the other, making employees’ lives hell when they are not sure which persona they will be greeted with at any moment in the day. 

    Adrenal fatigue occurs when the adrenal system struggles to maintain homeostatic balance, leading to depletion and dysregulation of the adrenal glands and Hypothalamic-Pituitary-Adrenal axis after a long period of emotional stress and/or chronic illness. Adrenal stress presents in different ways. Early signs might be intermittent lack of energy, headaches, cravings for carbohydrate or salty foods, low motivation and poor sleep feeling tired and exhausted on waking up. More advanced stages of adrenal fatigue may include these symptoms, and others such as night sweats, brain fog, lack of energy to do anything, poorly functioning immune system, resulting in catching every cold or flu bug that is flying around, as well as cravings for stimulants including coffee, chocolate and fizzy drinks all giving that quick, short lived, hit and energy boost that only leads to an energy low within a very short period of time. 

     Effective leadership walks a fine line, on the one hand between challenging team members enough to ensure they are not bored, and that they grow and develop, to on the other hand over challenging and therefore causing undue and unhealthy levels of stress, which due to constant pressure may lead to sickness and the inevitable time off work. Continued over-stress can lead to diseases such as hypertension, anxiety, depression and various forms of chronic disease, as well as mental ill-health whether anxiety, complete overwhelm, brain fog or depression. Many of these conditions will lead to the individual taking sick leave, leaving managers responsible for managing the gap this creates, picking up the pieces and somehow inspiring other team members to compensate for their colleague’s absence.

     Surely its worth getting this right from the beginning and investing in managers and leaders who are able to lead effectively through creating an environment where employees want to work, love working and consequently are heathy and happy? Does this mean there won’t be conflict or times when everyone has to step up due to peak periods in the business or additional demands for extraordinary reasons, of course not! Investing in leadership development gives leaders the confidence, skills and ability to rise to the occasion and support their team members fully during these extraordinarily demanding periods. 

    John C. Maxwell once said, “The single biggest way to impact an organisation is to focus on leadership development.” Avoiding investment in development of your leaders is short-term thinking, indicates lack of foresight and is overall detrimental to your business in terms of ROI, growth and quality of service delivered to your customers and reputation, as well as employee physical and mental health and wellbeing.

    References

     https://www.hse.gov.uk/statistics/dayslost.htm

     

  • Managing Your Workplace Stress video

    It is estimated that 12 million working days are lost each year in the UK due to stress-related illness. This worrying statistic is part of a widespread culture of workplace stress. Be it toxic environments, poor leadership or uncompromising deadlines, many workers are feeling the pressure. See my tips on manging your stress levels at work and excelling in a team environment! I filmed a video about this topic – watch the video here or read the transcript below if you prefer:

    Transcript:

    Hello, my name is Rachel Shackleton Welcome back or welcome to my youtube channel both for Green Key personal development and Green Key Health. Today I’m going to be talking about work related stress, and how to build resilience. I recently wrote a blog on this topic. I won’t be covering the whole content of the blog, but a couple of points of things that you can implement in your life to help build your resilience. Without further ado, let’s get going.

    According to UK Government website, more than 1 million people are suffering from work related stress, and it is estimated that more than 12 million days, workdays are lost to businesses every year due to work related stress. Of course, we cannot say that all stress is coming from the work environment. Of course not. There is always going to be a combination of work related stresses and stresses coming from our own lives due to life’s curveballs we all get and we have to deal with. However, there are things that we can put in place to help us to decrease the impact because long term stress on the mind and body aggravates existing disease conditions leading to more serious diseases. This is where we start to suffer and have to have sick days. There is absenteeism and so on and so forth.

    What is stress? Stress is defined as a situation that is forced on you that requires immediate response. This in itself can drain both mental and physical resources and particularly as I mentioned a few minutes ago, when it is ongoing this can trigger chronic diseases. Common stressors include financial issues, emotional issues, lifestyle issues, very often poor nutrient rich diet, so our body and mind is not getting the nutrients it needs in order to respond appropriately. So the question then is what can we do for ourselves to manage the stresses that we live on a day by day basis? Let’s first ask the question, what is the difference between stress and a challenge? So challenge is appropriate. It is appropriate stretching of both mind and body to achieve something. Stress kicks in when a challenge becomes overwhelming in some way. That means that stress works in the opposite way it starts to deplete mind functioning and the body in some way by developing some form of condition, whether that’s back pain, headaches, stiff shoulders, gut issues, and so on and so forth. When we look in the work environment, there are a number of areas that any leader would put for his or her team members as challenges. For example, achievement of certain goals. For example, certain deadlines, deadlines might be too short deadlines might be just right. If the deadline is too short, we can create that stressed environment if the deadline is too long we then find underperformance if the deadline is just right, we have the challenge but we don’t have the on going stress.

    Stress in the work environment can also be caused by other factors, such as a toxic working environment. Perhaps the working environment is overly competitive. Perhaps the boss himself or herself is a not a particularly good leader and is showing up one day over friendly, easy calm the next minute or the next day is completely wired and is overreacting to everything. This makes it very difficult for any team member to work in these circumstances.

    Each one of us is unique. There is no one size fits all. I mentioned some of the physical factors that might show themselves if you are under a constant form of stress due to your lifestyle, due to work environment due to personal issues, whatever it is. Some of the most common symptoms of stress are headaches, migraines, if you didn’t suffer from migraines before or headaches before and you start getting headaches on a regular basis. This could be an indicator that the body’s trying to tell you to back off or slow down, take the foot off the pedal back issues another typical one related to stress. The back is actually the support system of the entire body and if that is crumbling, or aching, not holding you up, you’ve got to look at what is causing that and ask yourself why is my back aching in this way? Some people put stress into that gut and start to suffer from things like irritable bowel syndrome-type symptoms where one day you might be going to the loo in a hurry and the next day, you can hardly go to the loo. This could also be shown in bloating after you’ve eaten and other gut issues and things like this. Of course those are physical. The mental side of being overly stressed things like feeling a little bit depressed, feeling anxious feeling overwhelmed on a constant basis, not wanting to go out, not wanting to socialise. These are all indicators that the body is suffering in some way. It’s showing you that you need to take a look at this and ask the question, why?

    In my blog, I mentioned five simple steps to managing your stress or your overwhelm. I’m not going to cover all five here. I’m just going to cover two of those in the blog and you can refer to the blog later for the other three. The first one I’d like to look at is be more assertive or be assertive. Being assertive means that you’re able to stand up for yourself. It means that you don’t compare yourself to others. Comparing yourself to someone else is actually a useless exercise because you’re unique as the other people and what they’re good at you may not be but what you’re good at they may not be good at, therefore, why go down that route. So avoid comparing yourself to others. Be aware of the areas where you communicate and you don’t actually say what it is you want to say. In other words, you say yes, when you’re asked if you can do something, maybe do an extra shift, work longer today, take on an extra task, whatever it is, and you say yes, when actually in your heart, you know that it’s “No”. You need to learn to turn around to that person and talk it through with them, find a compromise or negotiate a different solution that suits them and suits you. Do not be afraid to do that and if necessary, actually say “No”. Assertiveness also means speaking up for yourself in meetings, speaking up for yourself and one to ones sharing your opinion. Sharing your ideas, sharing your thoughts, not allowing another person to actually shout you down because you have a different opinion. You have a right to have a different opinion, as does everyone else and that difference is not a foundation for emotional distress. It is a foundation for confidence that you can think for yourself that you can be yourself. But, at the same time if a different decision was made that is not what you wanted, you have to give your commitment and work with that when you’re in the work environment and you’re working in a team so that the team accomplishes what the team is committed to accomplish.

    The other step that I would like to include today to help you manage your stress better and improve and build your resilience is setting your own boundaries and creating me time. We all need me time. Now that means time can be downtime. It can be time where that’s just yours. to do with what you want, whether that’s walking in nature, doing the gardening, walking the dog meeting friends, lying in a bubble bath. It doesn’t matter what it is. It’s that time that feeds you, feeds your mind your body and your soul and this is really important to recharging the tanks. But also, me time can be in the work environment where you set the boundaries for when you’re available and when you’re not available, giving yourself time to accomplish those tasks, those goals that you’ve committed to accomplish. Therefore you put a notice on your door, or a notice on your computer screen, whatever it is that helps your team members know you’re not available at this time. Whether that’s a regular time once a week, or whether you take each week separately and say okay, my me time this week is Wednesday afternoon or it’s Friday morning, or whatever it is. Educating your colleagues around that system and that process for you is very liberating. It also gives you time to think yourself, to clear the mind to unclutter and to really get down to a task, that task that is important and urgent, not only for you, but for your colleagues, your team and your business as a whole.

    I hope what I’ve been talking about is useful for you. And I urge you to go and read my whole blog, which is on www.greenkeypersonaldevelopment.com. There you’ll find all the other steps and more detail around what I’ve been talking about, which I hope will feed your mind and your soul and that you’ll have some techniques that you can put into practice to build your resilience and therefore manage your stress more effectively.

    I thank you so much for listening, and I look forward to welcoming you back to my YouTube channel.

  • To bank or not to bank? The customer has a choice

    This morning, I travelled 25 miles to and from Reading specifically to meet with a Business manager from firstly the bank that I currently bank with, and secondly another bank that I am looking at in comparison.  Why you might ask did I travel that far to have this meeting? The simple answer is that the branch where I bank, which is 12 miles away does not have a business manager. Having tried to discuss the points by phone, it was agreed that I should come into Reading and meet with the one and only business manager for what appears to be the Berkshire area.

    This is an account of two experiences in two different banks on the same morning.

    Bank No. 1 where I have banked for more than 20 years.  The Business Manager who met me, based on the appointment made, was under the impression that I wanted to open an account.  Clearly the message of why I wanted to meet was not relayed.  Having corrected her on this topic, and explained why I was there, she immediately stood up and said that she would invite her senior, more experienced colleague to join and answer my numerous questions.

    The more experienced colleague started with the phrase “So what is your problem that I can help you with?”   Sadly, this question lacked my name in the first address.  Sincerely, if I personally had a problem, I would not be talking to a bank representative?  Again I repeated the issues that I would like to gain advice on, as well as to find some kind of solution.  The lady concerned turned to the rate sheet and began to demonstrate the charges involved in what actually is a very simple transaction.  To this, I explained “I know what the rates are, I am looking for a solution to this situation because for this simple transaction, it is costing me about 12% each time!”

    Sadly, the lady both missed my need for help and secondly ignored my frustration, which was evident from the lack of interest she showed in trying to find solutions that might mitigate some of the cost.  Instead, “Well you know we do not fix the rates!” she exclaimed.   With that I understood that my plight was neither important nor of any concern to this person, and perhaps to the company as a whole.  What’s one customer?  I tried one more time by saying “You are looking at a very unhappy customer,” in the hope that this might spur her to explore options and recognise me as an individual and a customer, rather than a number and a statistic.  Why you might ask?

    Bank No. 2 Just down the road a few hundred metres on the same high street is a competitor bank where I had also arranged a meeting, which had been re- confirmed with me that morning. This experience was so different it was a joy, despite not being 100% satisfactory due to my requirements. The business manager knew in general what I was coming for, offered me a drink and then proceeded to build rapport with me before going into the details of opening an account.  She took time to understand my needs and whilst unable to answer some of the questions arranged a meeting for me with the relevant person.

    In this bank, I watched with interest and focus on how other customers were being treated.  Each time the customer was given attention, interest and appropriately directed, or questions answered on the spot.  When the queue got more than 3 people waiting someone came out from an office and helped manage the enquiries.  It was a well-oiled team with customers at heart.

    How can two experiences with practically the same goal, be so different? We cannot attribute this to differing weather patterns, Brexit or any other reason. The end of this story is left to you the reader.  I know what I have done to ensure the bank I work with shares common values of respect, ownership, flexibility and simple old fashioned regard for me as a customer.

  • Transitioning to a Remote Classroom

    A Guest Post by Shaheen Sajan

    Transitioning to a remote classroom could sound as intense as learning to land a plane while reading the pilot’s manual. To add to the helplessness of the situation, it’s as if our children are the passengers of this flight of fancy and nobody knows how this thing’s going to land. What I know as an e-Learning professional is that it doesn’t have to be so dire.

    Think of it this way, we learn best by doing and there are some amazing resources out there to help both parents and teachers, so they’re not faced with the daunting task of reinventing the wheel.

    Yes, there have been some teachers whose idea of remote learning means recording a video of themselves talking about some mundane subject and then asking their grade 3 students to pause every few seconds to write down what they just said. But it really doesn’t have to be this way.

    Follow these four easy steps used in e-Learning and your students in k-12 (North America) or primary-A-levels (UK) will log on each morning, eager to learn more:

    START WITH A CLEAR GOAL FOR EACH CLASS

    Let them know what they’ll be able to do by the end of this class. When the goal is achieved, the students feel empowered knowing their time was well spent. 

    For parents, in case the goal wasn’t achieved, it leaves your children with something tangible to work on. For additional support, you can set up free accounts for them on sites like IXL.com or Khan Academy to get real-time feedback on their children’s development through a suite of interactive activities. Real-time feedback in general should be something I’d suggest all teachers strive to provide so that it’s timely, otherwise for children, it becomes disconnected and irrelevant.

    Transitioning to a remote classroomKEEP THE CONTENT RELEVANT AND FOCUSED WITH PLENTY OF OPPORTUNITIES TO PRACTICE

    Here are four easy steps used in e-Learning for students of all ages.

    If you’re teaching new terms, and there’s an assessment, the assessment should focus on the terms that were taught in this lesson, not in previous ones.

    USE A BLENDED LEARNING APPROACH

    Teachers know better than anyone that children are unique and have their own learning styles. Create a balance using a mix of videos, zoom classes, online flashcards and hands-on activities. By the way, they don’t have to be videos recorded by the teacher, try and include videos already available online. When you’re teaching a language for example, if we were to choose between a teacher’s low budget attempt of rhyming through the vocab list compared to the plethora of quality videos already on YouTube teaching the same vocab list, then why re-invent the wheel, especially when there’s a really good wheel already out there?

    As parents, there are some great ways to extend that language course with Duolingo. That’s such a great platform that you’ll hear zero groans or resistance from your kids when you suggest they do their daily five- or ten-minute session. In fact, they’ll like it so much, you’ll rarely need to ask. That’s what good online learning should feel like. The technology is already there, so there’s no reason why we can’t make their remote learning experiences rewarding and engaging. The big win is that when learners are excited the real learning happens, and that’s when they really are going to retain the content in front of them. So how do we build that excitement?

    MAKE IT FUN

    Game-based learning is a multi million-dollar industry in e-Learning for a reason. It’s what motivates learners to want to learn more and more. It puts them in the driver’s seat of learning and whether they’re competing against others on a leaderboard or simply competing against themselves and their last attempt, it motivates them to want to keep improving, which means by default, they keep practicing that skill. It’s through repetition after all, where retention levels can really get elevated.

    A great example of this is Studio Code where learners can use code to build a video game. There’s a very tangible reward at the end of their labour, which is a great of their own creation. It’s perfect to get you through the entirety of a very rainy Sunday afternoon. 

    An engaged and empowered learner is a motivated learner. When they’re having so much fun learning that they forget that they’re learning, those are the moments when I know we are going to land that plane just fine.

     

    To find out more about how Green Key can design interactive e-Learning courses for your organisation, contact Rachel Shackleton directly.