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Category: Leadership Coaching

  • How Are Your Listening Skills?

    How Good Are Your Listening Skills?

    I like to listen.  I have learned a great deal from listening carefully.  Most people never listen.

    Ernest Hemmingway

    In order to manage the ever-increasing workload, our lives are focused to processing as much as possible in the shortest time,.  This is further compounded by social media – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and the like, all of which demand time, and to which it is easy to become a “slave”.  How are these demands affecting your listening?  Look over the table below and remind yourself of the difference between poor and effective listening.

    Poor v. Effective Listening Behaviour

    The Poor Listener:

    Is distracted by work, other people, interrruptions, noises etc

    Body is oriented away from the speaker 

    Gives no feedback (facial responsiveness, or other appropriate response 

    Ignores speaker’s non verbal communication

    Interrupts and waits to speak 

    Jumps to conclusions – focuses on symptoms and quick fixes

    Takes criticism personally

    Blames others.  Becomes defensive about the organisation or self and is judgemental and punishing when someone complains 

    Blames the organisation.  Takes the side of the person complaining

    Is thrown by stressed-out behaviour of others, and may become stressed-out in turn, Often lacks control of the situation

    Judges others by opinions – prejudices, shuts down listening

    The Effective Listener:

    Focuses on the speaker and what is being said

    Body is oriented towards the speaker 

    Gives feedback and participates appropriately 

    Tunes into the speaker’s non verbal communication

    Occasionally reflects and clarifies.  Allows the other person to finish what they are saying 

    Is patient.  Sees complaints and negative criticism as opportunity for problem solving and learning.  Focuses on underlying causes

    Avoids taking criticism personally 

    Suspends judgement as to who is to “blame”.  Has attitude to focus and find solutions which is seen as being more important than judgement

    Doesn’t blame.  Seeks solutions, is proactive for the future, not seeking revenge for actions in the past

    Realises the other person must have had to “psych up” to make a complaint, and has respect.  Makes allowances for the other person’s behaviour while listening

    Suspends judgement on others – listens to what is being said, not who is saying it

    Listens with head and heart

    Skilled Listeners:

    • Pay attention – focus to the speaker
    • Indicate interest
    • Listen without judgement or prejudice
    • Observe and notice others’ body language and vocal usage
    • Ask questions to expand the other person’s thinking
    • Use the feedback loop to check understanding and show listening

  • Ignoring Bad Leadership is Damaging your Business

    We have all had at least one experience of poor or bad leadership. I could add “unfortunately” at the end of that sentence? In most cases it is a learning lesson for the employee to avoid such leaders and their behaviour in the future. In other words, it teaches a very good lesson and makes us wiser in our future job searches and appointments. What about the organisation, is it unfortunate for them? The answer is most likely “yes” for the obvious reasons such as loss of good employees, poor morale that leads to low employee engagement, low productivity and ultimately increased sickness and absenteeism. The 2022 Gallup poll stated that “60% of employees are disengaged at a cost of US$8.8 trillion to business globally.” If that doesn’t make your ears prick up or hair stand on end, then I don’t know what will.

    What are the top-rated worst leadership behaviours according to a survey conducted by Bamboo HR of 1000 employees:

    Your boss takes credit for your work 63%
    Your boss doesn’t trust or empower you 62%
    Your boss doesn’t care if you are overworked 58%
    Your boss doesn’t advocate for you when it comes to compensation 57%
    Your boss hires and/or promotes the wrong people  56%
    Your boss doesn’t back you up when there is a dispute  55%
    Your boss doesn’t provide proper direction on assignment/roles  54%
    Your boss micromanages and doesn’t allow you freedom to work 53%
    Your boss focuses more on your weaknesses than strengths  53%
    Your boss doesn’t set clear expectations  52%

    On top of these reasons, Gallup together with Workhuman in a survey conducted in May 2023 established an extensive connection between employee recognition and wellbeing, finding that “employees who receive the right amount of recognition for the work they do suffer from lower burnout, enjoy improved daily emotions and stronger relations with their co-workers.”

    What does Gallup consider to be wellbeing? This is divided into different aspects of wellbeing:

    • Community
    • Social
    • Financial
    • Career
    • Physical

    I agree that wellbeing is not just physical, wellbeing is much more than that, infact it is holistic just as Gallup has highlighted. The way I explain wellbeing is physical (vitality, energy, strength) mental (clarity, cognition, concentration), emotional (resilience, inner balance, positivity, self-compassion), and spiritual (purpose, alignment, integrity). In the Gallup survey these different aspects of wellbeing, in turn are placed into three buckets:

    • Thriving Wellbeing – High wellbeing across most elements
    • Suffering Wellbeing – A mix of high, medium or low elements
    • Struggling Wellbeing – Low wellbeing across most elements

    What then is the link between leadership and thriving employee wellbeing? According to Gallup and Workhuman – it is what they term “Strategic Recognition”. This is the ability to use the technique of giving genuine recognition to all employees. To be strategic it needs to:

    1. Meet employee expectations. In other words, be given in a timely manner and for the work that the employee thinks deserves recognition.
    2. Be authentic and genuine and not something that is simply on a to do list to be done every day.
    3. Personalised – given fairly to all without showing favouritism.
    4. Equitable – taking the needs of each individual into consideration rather than a one size fits all.
    5. Is part of the organisation culture and is lived throughout the organisation by all in everything they do.

    The interesting point here is that giving recognition to an employee for doing a good job, costs nothing, there is no pay check attached, bonus or increase of some kind. It is a simple act of human, respect, gratitude and quiet celebration of an individual’s performance. The result when recognition is given authentically is an employee who feels valued for what they do, resulting in willingly doing more of the same. This in turn leads to increased engagement and productivity, less employees actively searching for a job and therefore increased retention, not forgetting the ultimate aim of decreasing sickness, both mental and physical, and absenteeism because employees thrive within the organisation culture.

    So what you might ask? A Harvard Business Review survey on the impact of poor leadership behaviours revealed that:

    • 48% of employees intentionally decreased their work effort.
    • 47% intentionally decreased the time spent at work.
    • 38% intentionally decreased the quality of their work.
    • 63% lost work time trying to avoid the offender.
    • 66% said that their performance declined.
    • 78% said that their commitment to the organization declined.
    • 25% admitted to taking their frustrations out on customers.

    Give me an example of any organisation leadership that would not want to turn employee performance around to stop damaging their business? I hope that all organisations would want to turn this around and create a thriving workforce who love what they do. This requires a change in leadership behaviour to those that embrace their employees and encourage top performance through strategic recognition. Does this mean that all employees perform well? Probably not, but that doesn’t mean that a manager and leader should see this as requiring discipline, severe correction or even some kind of abuse. It is an opportunity to understand why and consequently turn the employee’s performance round to one of excellence. In my opinion there are no such thing as bad employees, only bad managers.

    What behaviours do managers and leaders need to increase? Start by giving genuine authentic feedback and strategic recognition. This means “managing by walking about”, a concept that I learned in my early 20’s. By doing this you become human and approachable, you also know your employees by name and see how they perform, at the rock face while experiencing their daily work lives and not just seeing their names on a report or computer screen.

    Not all managers and leaders have received appropriate training to know when and how to deliver feedback. Ask yourself: “What is the damage and cost to your business for not investing in your leaders to provide the necessary training in leadership and these vital skills?

    Start the leadership training today, let’s talk.

    References:

    https://www.workhuman.com/resources/reports-guides/from-thank-you-to-thriving-workhuman-gallup-report-emea/?utm

    https://newageleadership.com/poor-leadership-behaviors-its-collateral-damage/#:~:text=Poor%20leadership%20behaviors%20and%20bad,root%20cause%20%E2%80%93%20bad%20leadership%20behaviors.

  • Integrity in Leadership; What Business Leaders Can Learn from Our Political System

    In today’s Britain, as we watch our government navigate scandal, public discontent, and complex global challenges, the question arises again and again: are our leaders truly working with honesty and integrity?

    Recent months have seen a string of events that throw this into question. Sir Keir Starmer entered office promising a clean break from political sleaze—but recent revelations suggest a more complex reality.

    In 2024, Starmer declared that he had accepted over £100,000 in gifts and hospitality since becoming an MP—far more than any other parliamentarian, including clothing and accommodation provided by Labour donor Lord Alli. While technically disclosed, this sharply contrasts with his message of accountability and austerity. As one Reddit commentator put it:

    “For a man who found so much pay dirt in presenting himself as a man of integrity, accepting these sorts of gifts … seems like such an easy bullet to dodge.” 

    There's also the awkward incident during lockdown: Starmer reportedly invited an acting coach to Downing Street for in‑person lessons while urging strict lockdown compliance for everyone else. The episode sparked claims of hypocrisy and doubt over whether “rules for some” applied across the board. (IAE Limited)

    On issues of openness and accountability, Starmer has called for a statutory “duty of candour” in government aimed at ending cover‑ups seen in the Post Office, infected blood, and other state failures. Yet critics argue that his own government's internal handling of data secrecy, e.g. hidden Afghan data leaks, hasn't always aligned with these values. 

    Take, for example, the ongoing Post Office Horizon IT scandal. After years of injustice, during which hundreds of sub-postmasters were wrongly prosecuted for financial shortfalls caused by a faulty computer system, the government promised compensation and transparency. Yet, as of mid-2025, many victims are still waiting. Promised payouts delayed, processes remain unclear, and bureaucratic hurdles persist. Despite repeated reassurances from ministers that the issue is being handled with urgency and compassion, families remain in limbo—forced to relive trauma while fighting for justice that should have been swiftly delivered.

    Is this leadership? Or is it another case of “managing the message” rather than taking meaningful action?

    Honesty and integrity in leadership aren’t abstract ideals. They’re the foundation of trust and trust is the glue that holds together public cooperation, engagement, and belief in the system. When leaders send mixed messages—one rule for the public, another for those in power—it erodes the very contract that enables effective governance. Is this any different for private companies and their employees?

    We’ve been here before. Rewind to the early days of the pandemic and the infamous Partygate scandal under then Prime Minister Boris Johnson. While the public was locked down, making sacrifices and losing loved ones, senior officials partied at Downing Street—breaking the rules they themselves had set. That hypocrisy shattered public confidence and left a deep scar on the national psyche. I suspect the deep scar might become even deeper as the truth about Covid and the “pandemic” is revealed.

    And what about science?

    When it comes to public health and medical research, integrity matters just as much, if not more. In a 2021 article in IHCAN Magazine, journalist Ronald Bailey exposed shocking systemic failures in the scientific research community. Former BMJ editor Dr. Richard Smith even proposed a radical stance: “Assume all medical research is fraudulent until proven otherwise.” Let that sink in! The very field we rely on for life-and-death guidance is increasingly driven by incentives that reward quantity of publication over quality or honesty of findings.

    As researcher Barbara K. Redman wrote, this “isn’t just a case of a few bad apples”—it’s a whole system that encourages poor behaviour. The absence of robust fraud-detection mechanisms, combined with an unwillingness to retract false findings for fear of reputational damage, is deeply troubling, setting an example to the many who look up to and follow those in authority through unquestioned belief. (Authority is one of Cialdini’s 6 Principles of Influence).

    What happens when the people can no longer trust their government leadership and the scientists who produce the “science” it not only relies on, but makes decisions on? When both leadership and knowledge systems seem riddled with opacity, contradiction, and self-interest. Until then, the public will continue to ask: “who are they working for – us or for themselves?

    That same question can be asked of leadership within an organisation. What happens when employees cannot trust their leaders and the information and systems they rely on? 

    For the UK we can still reclaim that future—but only if our leaders choose transparency over spin, substance over slogans, and integrity over image. In organisations it should never come to “reclaiming” because damage will already have been done and consequences will be clear as good employees jump ship, service levels drop and customer negative feedback increases all seriously effecting earning capacity.

    Conclusion: Lessons for Business Leadership

    Examples shared and the many others whether Sir Keir Starmer, Rachel Reeves, Rishi Sunak, David Lammy or Boris Johnson all demonstrate important lessons for organisational leaders:

    o    Trust is earned, not assumed: Promising reform or transparency isn’t enough if actions don’t follow through—and stakeholders notice inconsistencies.

    o    Details matter: Whether in public office or private boardrooms, undisclosed interests or misstatement, even when unintentional undermine credibility.

    o    Prioritize timely, accurate declarations of interests.

    o    Ensure consultation and stakeholder engagement are genuine and recorded.

    o    Show transparency in who you are and what you do.

    o    Back up what you say with personal behaviour and deliver on what you promised. In other words “walk your talk”.

    o    Communicate honestly—even when facing difficult decisions or scrutiny.

    o    Be true to yourself, and to others.

    As Nelson Mandela reminded us: “A bright future beckons. The onus is on us, through hard work, honesty and integrity, to reach for the stars.”

    Organisations can build that bright future—but only if leadership demonstrates integrity in word, action, and transparency.

    References

    Bailey, Ronald. (2021). Zombie Trials and Outright Fraud: Why Medical Research is Mostly Fake News. IHCAN: The Practice and Science of Natural Medicine, September, p. 42.

    Smith, Richard. (2021). “Time to Assume Fraud?” BMJ Editorial.

    Redman, Barbara K. (2021). Research Misconduct Policy in Biomedicine: Beyond the Bad-Apple Approach.

    https://iaelimited.com/keir-starmers-days-are-numbered-the-scandal-that-could-end-his-leadership-carole-malone/

    Cialdini's 6 principles of Persuasion book

  • International Women’s Day – A Celebration of Female Leadership

    On the 8th March to celebrate International Women’s day perhaps it is appropriate give credit to the many female Heads of State, CEO’s, Owners and Mothers.   How interesting that the world has a strong representation of female leaders, 22 countries in total including  Denmark, Poland, Bangladesh, Lithuania, Brazil and Norway.   This is quite a sizeable representation of women in top leadership positions, some in countries that are culturally showing more masculine than feminine qualities. (Hofstede)  It is irrelevant what you think about them, but the fact is these female leaders are running governments and countries in what can only be termed a very troubled and challenging period, including Teresa May who is grappling with the turmoil created by Brexit.   Angela Merkel holding strong as the German Chancellor who has  just been re-elected (with some help from her friends), and Norway Erna Solberg who has been Prime Minister since 2013.

    What are the principle characteristics of female leadership?  Can we characterize these principles and definitively separate them from the principles of male leadership?  Unlikely, because styles of leadership differ amongst men and women equally depending on education, experience, courage, individuality, stamina and so on.  However, when looking at women and men, there are differences and when women bring these differences into play we might see different characteristics, many of which come naturally to women.

    Female characteristics:

    • Intuitive and sensitive emotional intelligence
    • Ability to sense the emotion behind something as well as see the facts – therefore make decisions on both factual and emotional levels
    • Patience and tolerance
    • Ability to forgive and let go
    • Quiet drive, stamina and courage
    • Ability to multi task therefore being able to think about, understand and action different points with ease
    • Ability to release own emotions to relieve tension and break stress often through crying.  As well as breaking the tension in a situation.
    • Happy to be out of the limelight and just get on with the job

    In this list I am not saying that men do not have some of these characteristics, I am saying that these characteristics are more common in women in general, but particularly in female leaders.

    What does this all mean?  Are we moving into a time when female leadership is more appropriate for the challenges we face in today’s world – starvation, homelessness, loneliness, escalation in chronic disease, environmental damage on a huge scale, greed by the few who want to monopolize the many, to name but a few?

    I don’t know the answer to this, but I do know the questions:  How much longer can we, as human beings go on living in an environment that we are determined to destroy, removing the right to heritage for generations to come?

    How long can we continue to ignore, flush over, minimize the impacts of large industrial farming whether fishing, dairy, crop or animal farming on human health. Not to mention the pain caused to the animals themselves and the impact on waterways, air and the earth?

    How long can we go on not listening to, or covering up the detrimental impact of processing foods on our health and the health of our children, leading to escalation in chronic disease, obesity and stress, all of which we see in most of the English speaking world, with other countries not far behind having adopted a Western diet?

    Lets celebrate all our female leaders and leadership, not only on this day, but everyday whether Heads of State, Heads of Companies, Company Owners or Mothers.  Perhaps it is our leadership that will turn the ship to become more caring and responsible about how we live, what we live for and what we leave behind?

  • Empathy – A Business Case

    Empathy, one of the characteristics or we might say building blocks of emotional intelligence, is an essential aspect of effective leadership. Amid the hurried lives we live today and the demands from employers, family members, government and  ourselves for many and varied reasons, often means we are rushing here and there and consequently might say things in conversation that we don't mean or miss things that someone is either trying to say or has said that are important. The bottom line, empathy ends up taking a back seat.

    Empathy is not sympathy it is the ability to experience the moment in response to a customer, colleague or employee in a manner that “connects” directly to that person, sharing briefly the emotions that the person might be feeling without taking them on yourself. It has an impact on those involved in that moment as well as longer lasting through a relationship of trust, as well as the organisation bottom line. Customer experiences make the difference between them becoming loyal customers or choosing to go elsewhere. In most cases there are plenty of “elsewhere” companies ready to serve customers who have had a poor or even bad experience with your service offering. In the current labour market, it is not just the external customer who might choose to go elsewhere, but your employees, your internal customer also. Now with the possibility to work from home in many job roles, it has removed the need to be based in a particular geographic location, making the employment market a job seekers market, rather than employer market making hiring the right person so much more difficult.

    The 2020 NTT Global Customer Experience Benchmarking Report stated that, “Companies who focus on a customer/employee centricity see a 92% increase in customer loyalty with an 84% uplift in revenue and a 79% margin in costs saved. 

    The rising importance of employee service (EX) according to the survey, “94% of CEOs agree that making EX improvements that empower employees and drive efficiencies will improve CX and directly affect net profit. Furthermore, the study explains, “Organizations that strongly identify as being an employer of choice are almost twice as likely as those that do not achieve promoter-level CX performance. Those that have improved their EX capabilities and significantly increased their levels of employee satisfaction in the last year also show a 30% increase in their share of customer value or wallet (including customer retention).”

    Empathy is the linchpin to delivering excellence in customer service as well as for those delivering service to customers. Equipping leaders through the development of emotional intelligence and the skills of showing empathy to team members is no longer questionable in terms of importance to business performance, or even optional, but essential. 

    The key competencies within empathy according to Daniel Goleman (Working with Emotional Intelligence) are:

    • Sense others' feelings and perspectives 
    • Take an active interest in others' concerns
    • Sense others' development needs and support their development
    • Anticipate, recognise and meet customers' needs 
    • Read emotional undercurrents and power relationships
    • Cultivate and build opportunities through different kinds of people

    The aspect of sensing others’ feelings and perspectives of empathy includes several points that are particularly relevant to leaders and those working in customer service:

    The ability to sense and understand feelings, concerns and perspectives of others through intuition. The feeling aspect is the challenge for the development of AI tools to effectively support employees who provide customer service, truly giving them time to listen and respond empathetically. This likely involves examining interactions, work processes and flows as well as considering overall employee wellbeing. 

    Judith Orloff once said, “Empathy is the medicine the world needs.” This statement sums up the reason why we need this important skill in business to foster the growing need for businesses to encourage empathy centricity in their organisation and work culture both internally and externally. 

     

    Tips for Developing Empathy

    Developing empathy to work with others and communicate effectively takes time and effort, but with willingness and the ability to self-reflect this is a skill everyone can develop and benefit from. Below are some suggestions in how to develop empathy for interacting and understanding others.

    Practice self-disclosure – Self disclosure involves sharing feelings, opinions and thoughts about yourself with others. It demonstrates openness and honesty and leads to a greater sense of ease when communicating, building trust and rapport. Being able to self-disclose develops the ability to show empathy towards others.

    Practice being an empathetic listener – Listening, is about being present in the moment while paying close attention to the other person’s emotions, body movement, gestures, tone of voice and language. It is about showing empathy and understanding rather than evaluating or judging. When listening empathetically you listen not only with your head, but your heart as well. You are oriented towards the person giving them full attention, avoiding any temptation to check an email, answer a text or interrupt in order to speed them up or because you have decided you know what they are going to say. The risk of frustrating the customer when processes require service givers to complete a customer conversation within a set period of time can be detrimental to the overall goal of providing excellent customer service. For example, in a call centre where call length is a key performance indicator (KPI), as is number of calls processed by each agent, ignoring the difficulty of some of those calls by negatively hurrying both service giver and customer, impacting behaviour, tone of voice and response.

    Practice emotional scanning – Tune into the emotional state of others and your team as a whole to sense the prevailing emotional climate at any moment in time. This is achieved through noticing body language, tone of voice, the topic and content of what people are talking about as well as asking, how an individual or group are feeling at any point in time and then responding appropriately.

    Match and mirror – Being able to match means that you closely observe the behaviour of the person to whom you are talking and then adapt your behaviour to better match theirs. For example, if they are speaking slowly, you slow down to match that. This adaptation is called "mirroring". Do not copy or mimic them exactly, the goal is to narrow any gap to be less different and help them feel at ease. Invariably the response is sub-conscious in that they simply feel comfortable with you and as a result the conversation will be more open and trusting.

    Ask open questions – Avoid jumping immediately into offering a solution, some advice or what they "should do" by proposing your own perspective and opinion on the subject. Instead ask open questions to understand the situation and how they feel about it, noticing what they say and how they say what they are saying. The use of open questions and listening to the answers, invariably helps the other person to find the solution for themselves, which is more powerful than any personal advice.

    Keep a journal – spend a few minutes each day writing down how you reacted in one or two different situations. Assess whether empathy was needed and if so did you respond appropriately. How did the other person react? If you feel that you got it right, try to understand and identify what you did in that moment. If on the contrary, you feel you got it wrong, be open and honest with yourself and identify why you responded incorrectly. Think about whether there is something you can do to correct the situation when you next see the person and if there is, do it.

    Empathy is a skill that can be learned. The ability to show empathy with internal customers and to external customers is a foundation stone to building loyalty by reducing churn, increasing job satisfaction and in turn increasing organisation profitability and overall reputation.

     

    References

    Working with Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman (1999)

    The Language of Emotional Intelligence, Jeanne Segal, Ph.D, Jaelline Jaffee, Ph.D

    Leadership in Easy Steps, Jon Poole

    https://services.global.ntt/en-us/insights/2020-global-cx-benchmarking-report#

     

     

  • Employee Engagement Stagnates while Mental Health Escalates

    With the advent of the still recent fallout from the pandemic and the impact on society we are seeing an acute escalation in mental ill-health disorders including anxiety, depression, ADHD in children especially, and fatigue. Could there be a link between employee engagement and the need for “social belonging as well as the need for individual autonomy and achievement?” Bruce Alexander the author of “The Globalisation of Addiction: A study of Poverty and the Spirit,” professor emeritus of psychology at Simon Fraser University thinks this is so, naming it “psychosocial integration”.

    Organisations are dealing with a tidal wave of mental ill-health amongst employees and in efforts to support those employees and combat this wave provide aspects of education around the topic, train mental health first-aiders and provide help lines via dial in phone services to those who might need help when feeling desperate. Whilst honourable and necessary, are these actions:  

    1. Correct? 

    2. Enough?

    3. Dealing with the real cause?

    In this blog I am going to try to answer these questions, if not fully answering them to at least put some meat on the bones and give further food for thought.

    Without this integration of social belonging, autonomy and achievement, an individual has conflict between belonging and being oneself which in turn undermines authenticity and the need to belong which might manifest as some form of mental ill- health, lack of confidence and self-esteem and consequently lead to withdrawal, ultimately affecting productivity whether at work or in one’s personal life. In other words, a “dislocation” to oneself, to others and a sense of meaning and purpose, consequently likely asking questions such as, What am I here for both in an organisation and life in general? What is my role and how is my contribution valued? 

    Bruce Alexander likens this state to a dislocated shoulder. “It is a shoulder out of joint, disarticulated. This is not treated by cutting the arm off, so the arm continues to just hang there, unable to work, while at the same time being very painful. This is how “dislocated” individuals feel – useless and in pain.”

    Dislocation does not only happen to individuals but can also happen to groups working in organisations when they are cut off from autonomy, trust and meaning, more often than not through poor leadership. Leaders who choose to micromanage, not allowing individuals and the team as a whole to take autonomy and grow through working within broader parameters, but at the same time with clear goals. The scary thing about social dislocation is that it is now our normal. Prior to the pandemic it was already growing in western societies, but now has fully ballooned in our cultures and most noticeably in work cultures within organisations, leading to the acute escalation in mental ill-health. 

    A recent Gallup poll, January 2014 of US employees identified that only 33% of employees feel engaged at work! Specifically noting that “Employees still feel more detached from — and less satisfied with — their organizations and are less likely to connect to the companies’ mission and purpose or to feel someone cares about them as a person.”

    Part of this is caused by misidentification through material gains and status. When these gains disappear our identity and security goes with it. How many people do you know or perhaps you experienced it yourself who lost their job and consequently their house, car and the lifestyle to find themselves without any so-called friends and perhaps even their partner? This loss is being experienced more and more by individuals questioning their worth both in jobs that carry a professional image in society, such as doctor, lawyer and accountant as well as those whose roles have less apparent status, but never-the-less require long hours in toxic environments ruled by KPI’s and other productivity markers, or bonus schemes connected to individual and group output, but with little attention to the importance of sharing feedback that shows their performance really matters and makes a valuable contribution. This is further exacerbated since the advent of the internet when everyone is expected always to be “on”. It is a bit like chasing a never-ending result that when achieving there is hunger and further drive for more from those in charge within the organisation, leaving those charged with delivery questioning the cost to them due to an inflated view of personal identity, self-importance, material rewards or ambition and the pay back and whether that pay-back is in balance with their effort and the rewards.

    How does all this link to mental and physical health? It is well known that those who lead a meaningful life are more likely to be mentally, physically and emotionally healthy. Having this knowledge, how are organisations tapping into this foundation of helping individuals and teams be their best which not only serves the employee interests, but the organisation interests as well?  It is clear how many organisations use the importance of belonging to promote their products through selling meaning and identification and a sense of belonging through the brand. Take Apple for example. It now has almost a cult following to share in the belonging giving the impression that a particular iPhone is tailored to your exact needs with the question and chosen imagery of “Which iPhone is right for you? Of course, Apple is not the only one, this is a well-known marketing approach amongst all in business whether large or small organisations.

    While such marketing messages have been in our societies for many years, the question is at what cost? Encouraging individuals to lose their self-identity in pursuit of a product that helps them feel they belong. It is very sad that individuals might be building their identify, self-confidence and self-esteem on a product. Surely there is something wrong here?  Does each organisation provide that much needed belonging, sound self-confidence and esteem to fill that gap by encouraging employees to belong in a way that has a strong foundation and breeds good health and wellbeing, or is this simply a marketing ploy, that is all about driving productivity and goal achievement for the benefit of an increased bottom line? 

    Forgetting that employees are human and they give of their best when they are given autonomy, clear direction as well as being treated in a way that fosters a feeling of belonging, care, gratitude for the value they deliver within an open, honest environment that listens, shows empathy and concern when needed, and above all creates social belonging might just be fuelling the pandemic in mental ill-health.

    References 

    https://www.gallup.com/workplace/608675/new-workplace-employee-engagement-stagnates.aspx?version=print

    The Myth of Normal, Gabor Mate & Daniel Mate

  • Enthusiasm – a leadership characteristic

    “I know of no single formula for success. But over the years I have observed that some attributes of leadership are universal and are often about finding ways of encouraging people to combine their efforts, their talents, their insights, their enthusiasm and their inspiration to work together.” Queen Elizabeth II

    One of my clients some years ago, on arrival in England, with very little knowledge of English was told by one of his friends, “In order to be successful at getting a job you need to show enthusiasm”. What’s this “enthusiasm he thought?” and went away to find out.

    Dictionary.com defines “enthusiasm” as “Absorbing or controlling possession of the mind by any interest or pursuit; a lively interest”.  “Keen interest, excitement.”

    The word “enthusiasm” comes from Greek, meaning possessed by God’s essence, divine influence, inspiration. It has a history of being “confined to religious inspiration or intense religious fervor or emotion”.  In the 16th and 17th centuries there were several Protestant sects who were called “Enthusiasts”.  After the Glorious Revolution between 1688-1689 the reigning king, James II was replaced with the joint monarchy of his protestant daughter Mary and her Dutch husband, William of Orange. This was the point in British history when parliamentary supremacy was established over the crown, thus beginning the path to a parliamentary democracy.  “Enthusiasts” become a term of advocacy for any political or religious cause in public, a form of fanaticism.  It was this level of enthusiasm that was seen as the cause of the English Civil War in 1700, and all the related atrocities.  Consequently, Royal Society Bylaws stipulated that any person discussing religion or politics at a Society meeting was to be summarily ejected for being an “enthusiast”.

    What was my client’s friend saying?  Skills are not enough, they are not the only thing that employers look for when recruiting to fill a vacant position.  Enthusiasm is no substitute for experience, intelligence or skills, but when added to these qualities enthusiasm creates the difference between you and the next person.

    Enthusiasm as a leader is a person who is driven by his or her passion to excel at what they do.  Enthusiasm fuels achievement both of the leader him or herself as well as individuals in the team and the team as whole. Enthusiasm drives self-confidence, a positive outlook, and a contagious atmosphere that others want to be part of, and are sad to leave.

    Enthusiasm is a choice, you choose to either express it about something or not.  However, when choosing to express enthusiasm you reap the benefits of personal success of loyalty from others, a passion in others to follow you, drive, commitment and achievement.

    Donald Trump in a recent speech said:

    “We have to straighten out our country; we have to make our country great again, and we need energy and enthusiasm.”

    Are there any downsides to enthusiasm or is it all positive?  Having a passion and following that passion with enthusiasm is positive, however the down side of this might be that enthusiasm for a cause, might warp judgment, thus leading into a situation that is undesirable, perhaps unproductive and even down right ignorant, until it is too late to see what we have created, where we have ended up, and more importantly that we did not listen to those around us and blindly steamed ahead, putting both ourselves and others at risk.

    Let me leave you with one more thought, a quote from Bo Bennett, a businessman:

    “Faked enthusiasm is worse than bad acting – it is bad acting with the intent to deceive.”

  • Female Leadership: Leading Change Now

    On 8th March, as we mark International Women’s Day around the globe, it feels more relevant than ever to recognise the women leading at every level — from Heads of State and CEOs to founders, frontline managers and mothers. Female leadership is quietly leading the way as the world around us appears to go from one crisis situation to another. A change is needed. Are women able to live up to the needs of a changing world?

    The global picture has shifted significantly in recent years. While women still hold only around a quarter of national parliamentary seats worldwide, and fewer than 10% of countries are led by a woman Head of State or Government at any given time, representation at senior levels is slowly increasing. In the corporate world, women now hold over 10% of Fortune 500 CEO roles — the highest proportion in history — and in the UK, women occupy more than 40% of FTSE 350 board positions. Progress, while uneven, is real and perhaps even to be accelerated in the Year of the Horse and the age of Aquarius.

    Recent and current female Heads of Government and State have included leaders such as Mette Frederiksen in Denmark, Giorgia Meloni in Italy, Sheikh Hasina in Bangladesh, Ingrida Šimonytė in Lithuania, and Katrín Jakobsdóttir in Iceland. In recent years we have also seen influential leadership from figures such as Angela Merkel in Germany and Sanna Marin in Finland, who served as Prime Minister from 2019 to 2023 and became one of the world’s youngest serving heads of government, leading through the COVID-19 pandemic and complex security shifts in Europe.

    It is not about whether we agree with their politics or even like them. The fact remains: women are leading nations, steering economies, managing crises and shaping global policy during periods marked by geopolitical instability, economic uncertainty, climate disruption and rapid technological change.

    What are the principal characteristics of female leadership?

    Can we clearly separate “female” and “male” leadership principles? Probably not. Leadership styles vary widely among individuals, influenced by upbringing, education, experience, personality, culture and values. Courage, decisiveness, empathy and resilience are not gender-bound qualities.

    However, research consistently shows that women leaders are often associated with strengths such as:

    •    High emotional intelligence and relational awareness

    •    The ability to consider both data and human impact in decision-making

    •    Collaborative and inclusive approaches

    •    Patience and long-term thinking

    •    Resilience and quiet determination

    •    Comfort with shared credit rather than personal spotlight

    •    Strong communication and listening skills

    •    Systems thinking — balancing multiple priorities simultaneously

    This does not suggest men lack these qualities. Rather, many of these attributes are frequently socialised and strengthened in women, and when brought consciously into leadership, they can significantly influence organisational culture and performance.

    Why does this matter now?

    We are living in a time defined by complex, interconnected challenges:

    •    Climate change and environmental degradation

    •    Rising chronic disease and health inequality

    •    Economic instability and widening wealth gaps

    •    Loneliness, mental health pressures and social fragmentation

    •    Food system sustainability and public health concerns

    These are not problems that respond well to purely hierarchical or short-term thinking. They require courage, collaboration, empathy, systems awareness and long-term stewardship.

    The question is not whether female leadership is “better.” The question is whether broader, more balanced leadership — drawing on the full spectrum of human capability — is essential for the world we now inhabit.

    How long can we continue to live in ways that compromise the inheritance of future generations?

    How long can we ignore the impact of industrialised systems — in food, energy and production and on health, ecosystems and communities?

    How long can we overlook the connection between how we lead and the wellbeing of those we lead?

    How long can we blindly drive forward in disharmony with the all living beings and the environment in which we live?

    A celebration — and a responsibility.

    Let us celebrate female leadership not only on International Women’s Day, but every day — in government, in business, in communities and in homes.

    Progress is not about replacing one form of leadership with another. It is about expanding what leadership looks like. It is about ensuring talent, perspective and capability are not limited by gender.

    Perhaps it is this more inclusive, emotionally intelligent and system-aware leadership — embodied by many women and increasingly embraced by men — that will help us steer the ship toward a more responsible, sustainable and humane future.

    And perhaps the real leadership question is not who leads — but how we choose to lead, and what legacy we intend to leave behind.

    Interested in developing your leadership team? Contact rachel@greenkeypersonaldevelopment.com or book a call https://www.greenkeypersonaldevelopment.com/pages/contact

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  • Emergence of female leadership

    How interesting that the world is opening up to female leaders.  It is irrelevant what you think about them, but the fact is we see more female leaders stepping forward to run countries in what can only be termed a very troubled and challenging period.  Hilary Clinton in the USA – will she become the next president?  Teresa May slipping through in the turmoil created by Brexit and Angela Merkel holding strong in Germany as the German Chancellor.  Then the Prime Ministers of Thailand, Denmark, Iceland, Australia, Bangledesh and Trinidad and Tabogo are all women, as are the Presidents of Lithuania, Liberia, Costa Rica, Argentina, Brazil and Finland.  Quite a sizeable representation of women in top leadership positions, very often in countries that are culturally showing more masculine than feminine qualities. (Hofstede)

    What are the principle characteristics of female leadership?  Can we characterize these principles and definitively separate them from the principles of male leadership?  Unlikely because styles of leadership differ amongst men and women equally depending on education, experience, courage, individuality, stamina and so on.  However, when looking at women and men, there are differences and when women bring these differences into play we might see different characteristics, which most women have naturally.

    Female characteristics:

    • Intuitive and sensitive emotional intelligence
    • Ability to sense the emotion behind something as well as see the facts – therefore make decisions on both factual and emotional levels
    • Patience and tolerance
    • Ability to forgive and let go
    • Quiet drive, stamina and courage
    • Ability to multi task therefore being able to think about, understand and action different points with ease
    • Ability to release own emotions to relieve tension and break stress often through crying.  As well as breaking the tension in a situation.
    • Happy to be out of the limelight and just get on with the job

    In this list I am not saying that men do not have some of these characteristics, I am saying that these characteristics are more common in women in general, but particularly in female leaders.

    What does this all mean?  Are we moving into a time when female leadership is more appropriate for the challenges we face in today’s world – starvation, homelessness, loneliness, escalation in chronic disease, environmental damage on a huge scale, greed by the few who want to monopolize the many, to name but a few?

    I don’t know the answer to this, but I do know the questions:  How much longer can we, as human beings go on living in an environment that we are determined to destroy, removing the right to heritage for generations to come?

    How long can we continue to ignore, flush over, minimize the impacts of large industrial farming whether it be fishing, dairy, crop or animal farming on human health, not to mention the pain caused to the animals themselves and the impact on waterways, air and the earth?

    How long can we go on not listening to, or covering up the impact of processing on our foods, whether additives or nutrients removed to create something that is so far from what nature intended it gives no nutritious value and creates a build up of toxins leading to escalation in chronic disease, obesity and stress which we see in most of the English speaking world, with other countries fast behind once they adopt a Western diet?

    How much longer are we going to ignore the greed of large corporations that only have one goal in mind, lack integrity and do not care about the negative impact whether on humans, animals, birds, insects or bees?

    Perhaps it is female leadership that will turn the ship to become more caring and responsible about how we live, what we live for and what we leave behind?  I hope so.

  • Emotional intelligence & self-care: the missing competence?

    Emotional intelligence & self-care: the missing competence?

    Daniel Goleman the author of “Working with Emotional Intelligence”, talks about several competencies under “Personal” and “Social” competencies – Self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, motivation and relationship management/social skills. Perhaps it is now time in our world of intensity, fear, overwhelm and stress to add one more competence – “Self-care?”

    In our present-day world, on most corners you meet headlines referring to poor mental health, burnout, stress and overwhelm. Where are we going wrong? For the last several years we have been bombarded with external factors that have created this undercurrent of fear that continues to steadily eat away at human resilience with no sign of abating. Workload is another of the biggest factors in our daily lives to impact our physical and emotional energy resources. Feeling fearful and or overwhelmed means a sense of loss of control. When we are not feeling in control due to the “unknown” – Covid, inflation, petrol prices etc as well as due to impending deadlines, sheer volume of work and a lack of appreciation we leak energy just like a tyre on your car with a slow puncture, that over time leads into a downward spiral until you are literally “flat”. Eventually resulting in poor health as the endocrine system tries hard to rectify the constant onslaught of “fight and flight” reactions.

    What is Self-care?

    Considering “Self-care” from the point of view of Emotional Intelligence, in my opinion it is a combination of “self-awareness” and “self-regulation”. In other words, the ability to listen to yourself and observe a change in reactions to everyday issues, such as being less patient, overly aggressive in your manner, moody and lacking joy, and then to tune into yourself and pay more attention to these changes to understand the real cause. Having understood the cause, whatever that might be to then put in place some actions to self-regulate. In other words, to “manage one’s internal states, impulses and resources” so that your thoughts, actions and overall behaviour no longer drain energy.

    In order to recognise when things are becoming too much “Self- care” goes a little deeper than self-regulation. It requires taking the foot of the pedal, putting practices in place that regulate work-volumes and deadlines to a point where you are stretched, but not over stretched as to over-stimulate the “fight and flight” response, taking down-time and generally assisting your internal physical and mental mechanisms to return to a state of homeostasis. In short-term circumstances when it is temporarily not possible to take your foot off the pedal to put several actions in place that positively support your energy system, for example:

    Pause, breathe deeply for 3 in and out breaths – always ensuring the out-breath is longer than the in-breath. In this way you slow down your emotional reactions and bring an inner calm to the situation. Using this technique in the moment is very useful when your response would otherwise have been reactive and reckless.

    Create space and time for yourself every day – During this time, which might only be 10-20 minutes a day, stay away from digital distractions and invest time in yourself walking, meditating and generally connecting with yourself. Taking time out creates the space in which to assess, evaluate and tune into your thoughts and emotions around different situations. For effective investment of time:

    • Avoid being distracted by messages, calls and other regular interruptions
    • If weather permits go out for some fresh air and if it doesn’t go out for some fresh air
    • Breathe deeply 3-4 times before tuning into your surroundings, the smells, sights and sound
    • Tune into yourself to acknowledge how you are feeling. Allow any negative feelings to manifest, acknowledge them and then let them g
    • Acknowledge the learning these feelings and emotions have given you and move on from that place.

    “Creating space for yourself on a daily basis, helps to regulate daily stresses and create that breathing space in order to “see” your emotional triggers.

    Respect your personal capacity – say “No” when you know it is one thing too much. Talk to someone when you feel overwhelmed and stressed. They will likely be able to see the “wood for the trees” and help find the way out.

    Keep your diet nutritionally rich – Avoid wheat and wheat-based foods. Wheat affects the brain as well as the body, causing stress to the digestive system and ultimately the brain as the two are inextricably linked through the gut-brain axis. If you want to get maximum energy from what you eat choose foods that support effective digestion and an agile mind:

    • Eat the rainbow on a daily basis in fruit and vegetable
    • Eat brain foods – oily fish such as mackerel, sardines, and salmo
    • Chose healthy fats full of omega 3 and 6 – avocado, olive oil and coconut oi
    • Eat good quality protein – grass-fed meat, fish, eggs, and protein from things such as whole grains, sesame seeds (humus), beans and legumes.

    Read my blog about the effect of what we eat has on our minds

    Keep hydrated – when not drinking enough water your body becomes stressed and therefore any additional external stressors accelerate the negative impact on how you feel. Keep a glass of water close by to sip on throughout the day. Aim to drink a minimum of 8 glasses daily.

    Avoid all energy drinks and caffeine – they all serve to dehydrate the body as well as overall increasing the drain on your energy. Before reaching for that caffeine boost, drink a glass of water first and then observe how you feel.

    Long term regulation of mind and body through “Self-care”

    Taking a longer term view on “Self-care” means that you put daily and weekly practices in place to ensure a consistent and constant source of energy to meet demanding periods in your life, which let’s face it we all have. Adopting this kind of practice helps in keeping your mind positive and agile and your body full of energy.

    As we are all unique, practices will differ from person-to-person. In order to find the right practices for you, ask yourself the following questions:

    • What brings me joy
    • What do I love doing
    • Who inspires me so that I want to spend more time in their energy
    • How can I nourish the whole of myself?

    In answering these questions, you begin to identify what activities will help you to switch off from whatever overwhelm, stress and negativity you are facing. In our lives there is abundance of joy, we just have to stop to see it. Is your real passion in baking, cycling, fishing, gardening or walking? How can you build more of this into your weekly routine? What kind of people bring you inspiration? Who are they and how can you see or speak to them as part of your week?

    When I think of personal “self-care” and nourishment, I think of several things:

    • Sitting on top of a hill or by a river and taking in the view emptying my head of circulating thoughts and conversation
    • Taking an afternoon powernap. 10-20 minutes of “switch off” in peace and quie
    • Switching off connectivity and walking outsid
    • Cuddling up on the sofa with a good boo
    • Spending time with an anima
    • Wholesome foods, heart-warming soups, casseroles and stew
    • A long relaxing bath with essential oils.

    These might not be ways in which you prefer to nourish yourself, but whatever it is that nourishes you, how can you take at least 30 minutes each week to create that time for yourself?

    Defined simply, “Self-care” is: Knowing one’s internal sources of energy and how to build a consistent flow through:

     

    Emotional awareness

    Awareness of one’s emotions and their effects on levels of energy

    Physical awareness

    Awareness of one’s daily load and the effects on mental and physical energy levels

    Respecting your personal capacity

    Recognising when everything is too much and putting practices in place to reduce overwhelm

    Positivity

    Maintaining a positive inner and outer dialogue that is positive and constructive

    Self-control

    Managing disruptive emotions and impulses through proactive behaviour

    Self-nourishment

    Taking regular time to nourish oneself to top-up the energy tank

     

    Reference: Working with Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman