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  • Emotional intelligence & self-care: the missing competence?

    Emotional intelligence & self-care: the missing competence?

    Daniel Goleman the author of “Working with Emotional Intelligence”, talks about several competencies under “Personal” and “Social” competencies – Self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, motivation and relationship management/social skills. Perhaps it is now time in our world of intensity, fear, overwhelm and stress to add one more competence – “Self-care?”

    In our present-day world, on most corners you meet headlines referring to poor mental health, burnout, stress and overwhelm. Where are we going wrong? For the last several years we have been bombarded with external factors that have created this undercurrent of fear that continues to steadily eat away at human resilience with no sign of abating. Workload is another of the biggest factors in our daily lives to impact our physical and emotional energy resources. Feeling fearful and or overwhelmed means a sense of loss of control. When we are not feeling in control due to the “unknown” – Covid, inflation, petrol prices etc as well as due to impending deadlines, sheer volume of work and a lack of appreciation we leak energy just like a tyre on your car with a slow puncture, that over time leads into a downward spiral until you are literally “flat”. Eventually resulting in poor health as the endocrine system tries hard to rectify the constant onslaught of “fight and flight” reactions.

    What is Self-care?

    Considering “Self-care” from the point of view of Emotional Intelligence, in my opinion it is a combination of “self-awareness” and “self-regulation”. In other words, the ability to listen to yourself and observe a change in reactions to everyday issues, such as being less patient, overly aggressive in your manner, moody and lacking joy, and then to tune into yourself and pay more attention to these changes to understand the real cause. Having understood the cause, whatever that might be to then put in place some actions to self-regulate. In other words, to “manage one’s internal states, impulses and resources” so that your thoughts, actions and overall behaviour no longer drain energy.

    In order to recognise when things are becoming too much “Self- care” goes a little deeper than self-regulation. It requires taking the foot of the pedal, putting practices in place that regulate work-volumes and deadlines to a point where you are stretched, but not over stretched as to over-stimulate the “fight and flight” response, taking down-time and generally assisting your internal physical and mental mechanisms to return to a state of homeostasis. In short-term circumstances when it is temporarily not possible to take your foot off the pedal to put several actions in place that positively support your energy system, for example:

    Pause, breathe deeply for 3 in and out breaths – always ensuring the out-breath is longer than the in-breath. In this way you slow down your emotional reactions and bring an inner calm to the situation. Using this technique in the moment is very useful when your response would otherwise have been reactive and reckless.

    Create space and time for yourself every day – During this time, which might only be 10-20 minutes a day, stay away from digital distractions and invest time in yourself walking, meditating and generally connecting with yourself. Taking time out creates the space in which to assess, evaluate and tune into your thoughts and emotions around different situations. For effective investment of time:

    • Avoid being distracted by messages, calls and other regular interruptions
    • If weather permits go out for some fresh air and if it doesn’t go out for some fresh air
    • Breathe deeply 3-4 times before tuning into your surroundings, the smells, sights and sound
    • Tune into yourself to acknowledge how you are feeling. Allow any negative feelings to manifest, acknowledge them and then let them g
    • Acknowledge the learning these feelings and emotions have given you and move on from that place.

    “Creating space for yourself on a daily basis, helps to regulate daily stresses and create that breathing space in order to “see” your emotional triggers.

    Respect your personal capacity – say “No” when you know it is one thing too much. Talk to someone when you feel overwhelmed and stressed. They will likely be able to see the “wood for the trees” and help find the way out.

    Keep your diet nutritionally rich – Avoid wheat and wheat-based foods. Wheat affects the brain as well as the body, causing stress to the digestive system and ultimately the brain as the two are inextricably linked through the gut-brain axis. If you want to get maximum energy from what you eat choose foods that support effective digestion and an agile mind:

    • Eat the rainbow on a daily basis in fruit and vegetable
    • Eat brain foods – oily fish such as mackerel, sardines, and salmo
    • Chose healthy fats full of omega 3 and 6 – avocado, olive oil and coconut oi
    • Eat good quality protein – grass-fed meat, fish, eggs, and protein from things such as whole grains, sesame seeds (humus), beans and legumes.

    Read my blog about the effect of what we eat has on our minds

    Keep hydrated – when not drinking enough water your body becomes stressed and therefore any additional external stressors accelerate the negative impact on how you feel. Keep a glass of water close by to sip on throughout the day. Aim to drink a minimum of 8 glasses daily.

    Avoid all energy drinks and caffeine – they all serve to dehydrate the body as well as overall increasing the drain on your energy. Before reaching for that caffeine boost, drink a glass of water first and then observe how you feel.

    Long term regulation of mind and body through “Self-care”

    Taking a longer term view on “Self-care” means that you put daily and weekly practices in place to ensure a consistent and constant source of energy to meet demanding periods in your life, which let’s face it we all have. Adopting this kind of practice helps in keeping your mind positive and agile and your body full of energy.

    As we are all unique, practices will differ from person-to-person. In order to find the right practices for you, ask yourself the following questions:

    • What brings me joy
    • What do I love doing
    • Who inspires me so that I want to spend more time in their energy
    • How can I nourish the whole of myself?

    In answering these questions, you begin to identify what activities will help you to switch off from whatever overwhelm, stress and negativity you are facing. In our lives there is abundance of joy, we just have to stop to see it. Is your real passion in baking, cycling, fishing, gardening or walking? How can you build more of this into your weekly routine? What kind of people bring you inspiration? Who are they and how can you see or speak to them as part of your week?

    When I think of personal “self-care” and nourishment, I think of several things:

    • Sitting on top of a hill or by a river and taking in the view emptying my head of circulating thoughts and conversation
    • Taking an afternoon powernap. 10-20 minutes of “switch off” in peace and quie
    • Switching off connectivity and walking outsid
    • Cuddling up on the sofa with a good boo
    • Spending time with an anima
    • Wholesome foods, heart-warming soups, casseroles and stew
    • A long relaxing bath with essential oils.

    These might not be ways in which you prefer to nourish yourself, but whatever it is that nourishes you, how can you take at least 30 minutes each week to create that time for yourself?

    Defined simply, “Self-care” is: Knowing one’s internal sources of energy and how to build a consistent flow through:

     

    Emotional awareness

    Awareness of one’s emotions and their effects on levels of energy

    Physical awareness

    Awareness of one’s daily load and the effects on mental and physical energy levels

    Respecting your personal capacity

    Recognising when everything is too much and putting practices in place to reduce overwhelm

    Positivity

    Maintaining a positive inner and outer dialogue that is positive and constructive

    Self-control

    Managing disruptive emotions and impulses through proactive behaviour

    Self-nourishment

    Taking regular time to nourish oneself to top-up the energy tank

     

    Reference: Working with Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman

     

     

  • Empathy – A Business Case

    Empathy, one of the characteristics or we might say building blocks of emotional intelligence, is an essential aspect of effective leadership. Amid the hurried lives we live today and the demands from employers, family members, government and  ourselves for many and varied reasons, often means we are rushing here and there and consequently might say things in conversation that we don't mean or miss things that someone is either trying to say or has said that are important. The bottom line, empathy ends up taking a back seat.

    Empathy is not sympathy it is the ability to experience the moment in response to a customer, colleague or employee in a manner that “connects” directly to that person, sharing briefly the emotions that the person might be feeling without taking them on yourself. It has an impact on those involved in that moment as well as longer lasting through a relationship of trust, as well as the organisation bottom line. Customer experiences make the difference between them becoming loyal customers or choosing to go elsewhere. In most cases there are plenty of “elsewhere” companies ready to serve customers who have had a poor or even bad experience with your service offering. In the current labour market, it is not just the external customer who might choose to go elsewhere, but your employees, your internal customer also. Now with the possibility to work from home in many job roles, it has removed the need to be based in a particular geographic location, making the employment market a job seekers market, rather than employer market making hiring the right person so much more difficult.

    The 2020 NTT Global Customer Experience Benchmarking Report stated that, “Companies who focus on a customer/employee centricity see a 92% increase in customer loyalty with an 84% uplift in revenue and a 79% margin in costs saved. 

    The rising importance of employee service (EX) according to the survey, “94% of CEOs agree that making EX improvements that empower employees and drive efficiencies will improve CX and directly affect net profit. Furthermore, the study explains, “Organizations that strongly identify as being an employer of choice are almost twice as likely as those that do not achieve promoter-level CX performance. Those that have improved their EX capabilities and significantly increased their levels of employee satisfaction in the last year also show a 30% increase in their share of customer value or wallet (including customer retention).”

    Empathy is the linchpin to delivering excellence in customer service as well as for those delivering service to customers. Equipping leaders through the development of emotional intelligence and the skills of showing empathy to team members is no longer questionable in terms of importance to business performance, or even optional, but essential. 

    The key competencies within empathy according to Daniel Goleman (Working with Emotional Intelligence) are:

    • Sense others' feelings and perspectives 
    • Take an active interest in others' concerns
    • Sense others' development needs and support their development
    • Anticipate, recognise and meet customers' needs 
    • Read emotional undercurrents and power relationships
    • Cultivate and build opportunities through different kinds of people

    The aspect of sensing others’ feelings and perspectives of empathy includes several points that are particularly relevant to leaders and those working in customer service:

    The ability to sense and understand feelings, concerns and perspectives of others through intuition. The feeling aspect is the challenge for the development of AI tools to effectively support employees who provide customer service, truly giving them time to listen and respond empathetically. This likely involves examining interactions, work processes and flows as well as considering overall employee wellbeing. 

    Judith Orloff once said, “Empathy is the medicine the world needs.” This statement sums up the reason why we need this important skill in business to foster the growing need for businesses to encourage empathy centricity in their organisation and work culture both internally and externally. 

     

    Tips for Developing Empathy

    Developing empathy to work with others and communicate effectively takes time and effort, but with willingness and the ability to self-reflect this is a skill everyone can develop and benefit from. Below are some suggestions in how to develop empathy for interacting and understanding others.

    Practice self-disclosure – Self disclosure involves sharing feelings, opinions and thoughts about yourself with others. It demonstrates openness and honesty and leads to a greater sense of ease when communicating, building trust and rapport. Being able to self-disclose develops the ability to show empathy towards others.

    Practice being an empathetic listener – Listening, is about being present in the moment while paying close attention to the other person’s emotions, body movement, gestures, tone of voice and language. It is about showing empathy and understanding rather than evaluating or judging. When listening empathetically you listen not only with your head, but your heart as well. You are oriented towards the person giving them full attention, avoiding any temptation to check an email, answer a text or interrupt in order to speed them up or because you have decided you know what they are going to say. The risk of frustrating the customer when processes require service givers to complete a customer conversation within a set period of time can be detrimental to the overall goal of providing excellent customer service. For example, in a call centre where call length is a key performance indicator (KPI), as is number of calls processed by each agent, ignoring the difficulty of some of those calls by negatively hurrying both service giver and customer, impacting behaviour, tone of voice and response.

    Practice emotional scanning – Tune into the emotional state of others and your team as a whole to sense the prevailing emotional climate at any moment in time. This is achieved through noticing body language, tone of voice, the topic and content of what people are talking about as well as asking, how an individual or group are feeling at any point in time and then responding appropriately.

    Match and mirror – Being able to match means that you closely observe the behaviour of the person to whom you are talking and then adapt your behaviour to better match theirs. For example, if they are speaking slowly, you slow down to match that. This adaptation is called "mirroring". Do not copy or mimic them exactly, the goal is to narrow any gap to be less different and help them feel at ease. Invariably the response is sub-conscious in that they simply feel comfortable with you and as a result the conversation will be more open and trusting.

    Ask open questions – Avoid jumping immediately into offering a solution, some advice or what they "should do" by proposing your own perspective and opinion on the subject. Instead ask open questions to understand the situation and how they feel about it, noticing what they say and how they say what they are saying. The use of open questions and listening to the answers, invariably helps the other person to find the solution for themselves, which is more powerful than any personal advice.

    Keep a journal – spend a few minutes each day writing down how you reacted in one or two different situations. Assess whether empathy was needed and if so did you respond appropriately. How did the other person react? If you feel that you got it right, try to understand and identify what you did in that moment. If on the contrary, you feel you got it wrong, be open and honest with yourself and identify why you responded incorrectly. Think about whether there is something you can do to correct the situation when you next see the person and if there is, do it.

    Empathy is a skill that can be learned. The ability to show empathy with internal customers and to external customers is a foundation stone to building loyalty by reducing churn, increasing job satisfaction and in turn increasing organisation profitability and overall reputation.

     

    References

    Working with Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman (1999)

    The Language of Emotional Intelligence, Jeanne Segal, Ph.D, Jaelline Jaffee, Ph.D

    Leadership in Easy Steps, Jon Poole

    https://services.global.ntt/en-us/insights/2020-global-cx-benchmarking-report#

     

     

  • Employee development – a cost or an investment?

    EMPLOYEE DEVELOPMENT – A COST OR AN INVESTMENT?

    I was recently staying in a hotel on the Salford Quays.  For purposes of my blog I will only say that it is a well known international brand.  Not a huge hotel, and therefore potentially able to give guests a more personal experience.   There was nothing particularly different about this hotel – the décor rather minimalistic, fresh and clean looking, but the rest was the same, as any other hotel brand.

    There were several employee-guest interactions during my stay apart from the obvious checking in and out.    The toilet required a “Tarzan” type figure to flush it, the pillows were hard and about 18” deep as well as the need for general directions to where I was going.  Sadly not on any of these occasions was I referred to by name.  The person was empathetic, if needed, efficient in all cases, but did not take the opportunity to personalize our conversation, despite having the information on the computer before her eyes.  What would stop me staying in another hotel next time?  Absolutely nothing!  The location was no more convenient than competitors, the rate certainly not more beneficial, value for money – “No nothing there”.  Personalised and individual service – “No”.

    Staff training and development is perhaps even more important when times are tough.  Sadly staff development is usually the first budget that gets cut.  Is this a luxury or a necessity?   Neglecting personal and professional development of employees and management is a false economy.

    Staff don’t wait for the budget to come along to plan out their needs and create their own path of development.  They do this with or without the company’s help.  If they don’t feel they are getting what they want in your company they will take their skills and go elsewhere.

    What tangible benefits can you expect from implementing an employee training and development plan to inspire and grow individuals and teams:

    • Improved productivity through effectiveness, reduced wastage and a smarter approach to “doing”
    • Reduced sickness and absenteeism due to a happier more fulfilled workforce
    • Reduced staff turnover
    • Increased loyalty and engagement which correlates with increased customer satisfaction
    • Increased profits

    In addition to this, though less tangible are other benefits such as:

    • Increased motivation, team spirit and morale
    • A feeling of being valued and therefore a happier place to work, thus directly impacting turnover  
    • Happier customers – would you, as a customer prefer to go where you are known and valued, perhaps even paying more, or where no one knows you?

    Retention of customers is through personal recognition, we all want to go where we feel valued, referred to by name and where our business is welcome.

    Will I stay in this hotel next time – unlikely!  I will go back to the hotel where I stayed previously, with the added bonus of a lower room rate.  More importantly, a hotel, where I am addressed by name by a smiling person, who genuinely loves what he or she are doing.

    Where is the cost and where is the investment?  The business, in this case a hotel where you go once and don’t return or the business with repeat loyal customers?

  • Employee Engagement

    Employee engagement is a workplace approach resulting in the right conditions for all members of an organisation to give of their best each day.  It means they are committed to their organisation’s goals and values, motivated to contribute to organisational success, with an enhanced sense of their personal well-being.

    The 2018 Glint report on the “State of Employee Engagement” states that most participants believe that less than 70% of their employees are engaged’ and that “over 90% believe there is solid evidence linking engagement to performance.”

    Engagement has an impact on a number of performance indicators including product quality, customer service and productivity.  It is logical therefore to extend the thought that poor engagement whilst affecting performance in terms of productivity and profitability will also have a direct link to absenteeism and sickness which is likely higher when there is no engagement.  When looking at MIND figures in relation to mental ill health and sickness, the figures are staggering:

    • More than 1 in 5 employees have called in sick to avoid work when asked how workplace stress has affected them
    • 30% felt that they would not be able to tell their manager they felt stressed

    The second point is directly related to engagement or non-engagement of employees due to negligent or ineffective leadership.

    Engaging employees in their work, the company culture and values is the responsibility of leaders within each organisation. In other words – creating the right environment, building trust, nurturing relationships, and being transparent.  Leadership behaviour is itself driven by the organisational culture and company values.  The old saying of “the fish stinks from the head down” adequately sums up the need within an organisation to ensure senior management lead by example and roll down company values, ensuring they are manifested throughout the organisation.

    Engagement can be measured in different ways.  However, to be effective it is likely that the process is continuous and uses a combination of ways, such as:

    • Formal employee surveys – will get the feedback that is needed to lead to relevant change, so long as employees feel safe to answer openly.
    • Exit interviews – taking the time to really find out why an employee is leaving is critical to reflecting on what can be done better, whilst also providing feedback about the environment and culture to the manager of the person who is leaving.
    • One-to-ones with managers – Work very well when there is an atmosphere of trust.  Without trust, it may bring limited results.
    • Customer satisfaction ratings – The customer is the one who truly bears the brunt of poor employee engagement, experiencing poorly motivated service people, with a “don’t care” attitude. Thus, hearing about their experiences is a very important gauge whilst also providing pointers for improvement.
    • Employee productivity – measured in different ways, is a valuable measurement of employee engagement.  Low productivity very often reflects low engagement and vica versa.

    How can managers and leaders influence engagement levels?

    Again there is no one answer, there are several answers and in reality a combination of different actions are needed to positively influence employee engagement:

    • Give employees the chance to do quality work
    • Maintain a positive work culture
    • Listen carefully to employee feedback
    • Communicate clear expectations to employees
    • Encourage employee collaboration
    • Build a trusting environment through being fair
    • Give positive feedback and praise employees for their performance
    • Train and coach

    It makes sense that employee engagement is part of the core business strategy. Engagement on a consistent basis will pay dividends in increasing productivity, thus profitability. The work place will be a happier place to be and consequently increase pride in doing quality work and serving customers, as well as succeeding in achieving department and company goals.

     

    References:

    The State of Employee Engagement 2018 HR.com

    Managing for Sustainable Employee Engagement, CIPD

    https://www.managers.org.uk/knowledge-bank/employee-engagement

    https://www.Mind.org.uk

  • Employee Engagement Stagnates while Mental Health Escalates

    With the advent of the still recent fallout from the pandemic and the impact on society we are seeing an acute escalation in mental ill-health disorders including anxiety, depression, ADHD in children especially, and fatigue. Could there be a link between employee engagement and the need for “social belonging as well as the need for individual autonomy and achievement?” Bruce Alexander the author of “The Globalisation of Addiction: A study of Poverty and the Spirit,” professor emeritus of psychology at Simon Fraser University thinks this is so, naming it “psychosocial integration”.

    Organisations are dealing with a tidal wave of mental ill-health amongst employees and in efforts to support those employees and combat this wave provide aspects of education around the topic, train mental health first-aiders and provide help lines via dial in phone services to those who might need help when feeling desperate. Whilst honourable and necessary, are these actions:  

    1. Correct? 

    2. Enough?

    3. Dealing with the real cause?

    In this blog I am going to try to answer these questions, if not fully answering them to at least put some meat on the bones and give further food for thought.

    Without this integration of social belonging, autonomy and achievement, an individual has conflict between belonging and being oneself which in turn undermines authenticity and the need to belong which might manifest as some form of mental ill- health, lack of confidence and self-esteem and consequently lead to withdrawal, ultimately affecting productivity whether at work or in one’s personal life. In other words, a “dislocation” to oneself, to others and a sense of meaning and purpose, consequently likely asking questions such as, What am I here for both in an organisation and life in general? What is my role and how is my contribution valued? 

    Bruce Alexander likens this state to a dislocated shoulder. “It is a shoulder out of joint, disarticulated. This is not treated by cutting the arm off, so the arm continues to just hang there, unable to work, while at the same time being very painful. This is how “dislocated” individuals feel – useless and in pain.”

    Dislocation does not only happen to individuals but can also happen to groups working in organisations when they are cut off from autonomy, trust and meaning, more often than not through poor leadership. Leaders who choose to micromanage, not allowing individuals and the team as a whole to take autonomy and grow through working within broader parameters, but at the same time with clear goals. The scary thing about social dislocation is that it is now our normal. Prior to the pandemic it was already growing in western societies, but now has fully ballooned in our cultures and most noticeably in work cultures within organisations, leading to the acute escalation in mental ill-health. 

    A recent Gallup poll, January 2014 of US employees identified that only 33% of employees feel engaged at work! Specifically noting that “Employees still feel more detached from — and less satisfied with — their organizations and are less likely to connect to the companies’ mission and purpose or to feel someone cares about them as a person.”

    Part of this is caused by misidentification through material gains and status. When these gains disappear our identity and security goes with it. How many people do you know or perhaps you experienced it yourself who lost their job and consequently their house, car and the lifestyle to find themselves without any so-called friends and perhaps even their partner? This loss is being experienced more and more by individuals questioning their worth both in jobs that carry a professional image in society, such as doctor, lawyer and accountant as well as those whose roles have less apparent status, but never-the-less require long hours in toxic environments ruled by KPI’s and other productivity markers, or bonus schemes connected to individual and group output, but with little attention to the importance of sharing feedback that shows their performance really matters and makes a valuable contribution. This is further exacerbated since the advent of the internet when everyone is expected always to be “on”. It is a bit like chasing a never-ending result that when achieving there is hunger and further drive for more from those in charge within the organisation, leaving those charged with delivery questioning the cost to them due to an inflated view of personal identity, self-importance, material rewards or ambition and the pay back and whether that pay-back is in balance with their effort and the rewards.

    How does all this link to mental and physical health? It is well known that those who lead a meaningful life are more likely to be mentally, physically and emotionally healthy. Having this knowledge, how are organisations tapping into this foundation of helping individuals and teams be their best which not only serves the employee interests, but the organisation interests as well?  It is clear how many organisations use the importance of belonging to promote their products through selling meaning and identification and a sense of belonging through the brand. Take Apple for example. It now has almost a cult following to share in the belonging giving the impression that a particular iPhone is tailored to your exact needs with the question and chosen imagery of “Which iPhone is right for you? Of course, Apple is not the only one, this is a well-known marketing approach amongst all in business whether large or small organisations.

    While such marketing messages have been in our societies for many years, the question is at what cost? Encouraging individuals to lose their self-identity in pursuit of a product that helps them feel they belong. It is very sad that individuals might be building their identify, self-confidence and self-esteem on a product. Surely there is something wrong here?  Does each organisation provide that much needed belonging, sound self-confidence and esteem to fill that gap by encouraging employees to belong in a way that has a strong foundation and breeds good health and wellbeing, or is this simply a marketing ploy, that is all about driving productivity and goal achievement for the benefit of an increased bottom line? 

    Forgetting that employees are human and they give of their best when they are given autonomy, clear direction as well as being treated in a way that fosters a feeling of belonging, care, gratitude for the value they deliver within an open, honest environment that listens, shows empathy and concern when needed, and above all creates social belonging might just be fuelling the pandemic in mental ill-health.

    References 

    https://www.gallup.com/workplace/608675/new-workplace-employee-engagement-stagnates.aspx?version=print

    The Myth of Normal, Gabor Mate & Daniel Mate

  • Enthusiasm – a leadership characteristic

    “I know of no single formula for success. But over the years I have observed that some attributes of leadership are universal and are often about finding ways of encouraging people to combine their efforts, their talents, their insights, their enthusiasm and their inspiration to work together.” Queen Elizabeth II

    One of my clients some years ago, on arrival in England, with very little knowledge of English was told by one of his friends, “In order to be successful at getting a job you need to show enthusiasm”. What’s this “enthusiasm he thought?” and went away to find out.

    Dictionary.com defines “enthusiasm” as “Absorbing or controlling possession of the mind by any interest or pursuit; a lively interest”.  “Keen interest, excitement.”

    The word “enthusiasm” comes from Greek, meaning possessed by God’s essence, divine influence, inspiration. It has a history of being “confined to religious inspiration or intense religious fervor or emotion”.  In the 16th and 17th centuries there were several Protestant sects who were called “Enthusiasts”.  After the Glorious Revolution between 1688-1689 the reigning king, James II was replaced with the joint monarchy of his protestant daughter Mary and her Dutch husband, William of Orange. This was the point in British history when parliamentary supremacy was established over the crown, thus beginning the path to a parliamentary democracy.  “Enthusiasts” become a term of advocacy for any political or religious cause in public, a form of fanaticism.  It was this level of enthusiasm that was seen as the cause of the English Civil War in 1700, and all the related atrocities.  Consequently, Royal Society Bylaws stipulated that any person discussing religion or politics at a Society meeting was to be summarily ejected for being an “enthusiast”.

    What was my client’s friend saying?  Skills are not enough, they are not the only thing that employers look for when recruiting to fill a vacant position.  Enthusiasm is no substitute for experience, intelligence or skills, but when added to these qualities enthusiasm creates the difference between you and the next person.

    Enthusiasm as a leader is a person who is driven by his or her passion to excel at what they do.  Enthusiasm fuels achievement both of the leader him or herself as well as individuals in the team and the team as whole. Enthusiasm drives self-confidence, a positive outlook, and a contagious atmosphere that others want to be part of, and are sad to leave.

    Enthusiasm is a choice, you choose to either express it about something or not.  However, when choosing to express enthusiasm you reap the benefits of personal success of loyalty from others, a passion in others to follow you, drive, commitment and achievement.

    Donald Trump in a recent speech said:

    “We have to straighten out our country; we have to make our country great again, and we need energy and enthusiasm.”

    Are there any downsides to enthusiasm or is it all positive?  Having a passion and following that passion with enthusiasm is positive, however the down side of this might be that enthusiasm for a cause, might warp judgment, thus leading into a situation that is undesirable, perhaps unproductive and even down right ignorant, until it is too late to see what we have created, where we have ended up, and more importantly that we did not listen to those around us and blindly steamed ahead, putting both ourselves and others at risk.

    Let me leave you with one more thought, a quote from Bo Bennett, a businessman:

    “Faked enthusiasm is worse than bad acting – it is bad acting with the intent to deceive.”

  • Fears and Phobias – 7 Tips to Overcome them

    The NHS defines a phobia “as an overwhelming and debilitating fear of an object, place, situation, feeling or animal. Phobias are more pronounced than fears.” On the other hand, the Merriam Webster dictionary defines fear as “an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger.” From these two definitions we can see some parallel and cross over in understanding that both phobias and fears are slightly different, but never-the-less linked with the underlying factor of fear. In my own words, phobia is something that is overwhelming and debilitating deeply affecting our lives in some way, whilst fear is something that can cause us to behave differently to our so-called normal behaviour.

    When considering animals in the wild, such as a herd of zebra. Zebras will be grazing quite peacefully when all of a sudden, they intuitively know that there is some kind of threat or danger lurking close by. The natural response is to go into alert mode, which drives the fight or flight reaction. There is no worry, circulating thoughts, deliberation or similar, they simply look around for the threat and take the necessary action to either run (flight) or stay and fight for survival. Once the perceived threat has gone, the herd go back to grazing peacefully, as if nothing had happened a few minutes earlier. The threat of being eaten is an accepted part of being a zebra. Perhaps not a pleasant part if you are the chosen one!

    In our human world, we tend to intensify our fears through an unhealthy rumination of negative thoughts that often distort the real picture, leading to poor decision-making, lack of sleep and other bodily symptoms that often cannot be identified medically. This does not mean to say that fear does not exist and that we do not feel it, infact the opposite. It is real, and our mind and body do feel it. With a phobia the degree of fear is intensified to the point where it becomes and is debilitating.

    In the face of danger, what stops us from making that decision and just doing it anyway? To leap over the perceived barrier and to take that first step, only to find when we have done it that we are fine and the world around us is fine. There is no right answer to this question, as each one of us is different. We each have our own myriad of reasons that we explain to ourselves and those around us, rationalising the reasons why we are not taking steps to overcoming the fear. With a phobia there is no rationalisation, as the level of fear at whatever is causing the phobia or extreme fear has gone beyond that possibility until such time as the object, situation or feeling has been removed or we have been removed from it.

    However, that object, situation or feeling will always be a trigger unless a professional is recruited to help re-wire our brain to think differently about whatever it is that might be causing the phobia or overwhelming fear.

    What happens when we live in extreme fear of something, for example the fear of flying, not being able to feed your family, or the fear of going out and leaving your house for work, shopping or other reason?

    The fight or flight response becomes elevated causing a vortex of overthinking negative thoughts. Neurological sciences agree that as we think something and re-think something repeatedly, our neurological pathways become channelled and locked and we can, in some ways become what we contemplate.

    Our heart rate quickens, driving the release of perspiration in response to the sympathetic nervous system kicking into full alert. A mix of hormones, especially adrenaline and cortisol are released into the bloodstream and the heart sends messages to the brain via the Vagus nerve supported by an increase in neurotransmitters. All this before the largest part of the brain, the neocortex has had a chance to identify the nature of the emergency, whether life-threatening, shocking or something in between.

    The second phase, for want of a better description that occurs within milliseconds, is the receipt of information through the senses to the neocortex. As a result, an understanding forms about the situation and the fight or flight impetus is either modified or countermanded. With a phobia countermanding very seldom occurs as you can’t “see” and the neocortex becomes incapable of rationally judging the level of danger. It is the same fear that becomes abject fear resulting in control of bodily movements and behaviour.

    Once the trigger to the fear and in some cases, the phobia, has been removed, consciousness begins to take control of fight and flight reactions bringing about the slow return to normal through reversal of the extreme arousal process. This might result in expressing excess energy and emotion amassed seconds earlier through nervous laughter, tears, or even shouting, supported by relevant body language. All these responses are the body’s outlet for the release of pent-up emotions, ultimately resetting the amygdala’s warning light and as zebras do, returning to “grazing.”

    Unlike animals, what might not be reset is the hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenal axis (HPA), stress system. Actions of this system, especially the release and reabsorption of cortisol take considerably longer to reset, particularly when the threat is perceived to be overwhelming and/or chronic in the case of a phobia. Instead of the feeling of fear being overridden, modified or followed through, it becomes suppressed inside the body, leading to phantom pain and/or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

    If you believe that disease has an emotional foundation, which I do, fear is one of the cardinal emotions and when suppressed as with other cardinal emotions; guilt, anger and shame, it starts to lay the foundation for dis-ease. If an individual is already suffering from some form of disease or health condition, it will further compound the body’s stress reaction and need to re-balance through mobilisation of the immune system. In other words, draining resources to fight a condition that is emotionally draining vitality from the system.

    In the last couple of years with many incidences to be fearful of – Covid-19 and the messages used during lockdowns – “stay home – protect the NHS- save lives”, “stay alert-control the virus-save lives”, now rising energy costs and the fear of how to stay warm and pay the bills, rising petrol costs and the implications that this has on all aspects of modern-day living, continued threats of more dangerous Covid variants etc and the 24/7 news, social media messaging that is ever-present and hammering away at all these topics and many more not mentioned that keeps the fight and flight response switched on. This only serves to keep the HPA axis in heightened response while draining and weakening the immune system which in turn drains vitality and leads to sickness and the possible realisation of the fears that is driving it all.

    How do you stop the fear cycle?

    Love is the opposite of fear, which is the most important law of the universe. First love of oneself and second love of others. Love is all there is. The King James version of the Bible tells us: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear; because fear hath no torment”. While I would never describe myself as religious and with no dis-respect to those that are, these words make a great deal of sense to me.

    Is it now time to come together and focus on building communities through neighbourly support and help? To focus on the abundance that surrounds each one of us, even though some days it might not feel that way, celebrate lives within our communities and care for those that feel vulnerable and fearful and those who are suffering extreme fear or even phobia to go out and about in the world in which we live. To fully embrace the community spirit and to give and share joy to overcome the fear?

    Leadership, also plays an important role in building community, trust and openness to inspire and lead others, to build performing teams that exude joy, the sharing of wins and successes and the openness to challenge and discuss when not succeeding in a constructive, positive and decisive manner. In my opinion the foundation to effective and inspirational leadership is above all else to listen to one another with respect, presence and deep interest while nurturing and growing talent.

    Put your oxygen mask on first by doing some simple things that each one of us can do for ourselves which when we are all doing them make the pool of support, unconditional love, community spirit and joy ever-grow in size until it embraces all:

    1. Make time to be kind to yourself and those around you.
    2. Go inward to hear how your mind and body feel.
    3. Release pent-up emotions through forgiveness of those that might have hurt you.
    4. Share positivity, joy and humour.
    5. Give gratitude for the small things that bring joy, fun and appreciation each day.
    6. Be present to nature’s abundance and calming influence and as with every river, flow with ease allowing the undulating current to navigate the route smoothly, rather than trying to dam the natural flow or wade upstream against the current.
    7. Keep head and heart in balance and don’t be afraid to follow your heart as it is this that connects you to your soul path – your love and passion for life.

    “Love makes the world look beautiful. When there is love, there is beauty’. Haemin Sunim

    References

    The Spiritual Anatomy of Emotion, Michael A. Jawer, Marc S. Micozzi, MD, Ph.D
    Feelings Buried Alive Never Die, Karol K. Truman
    The Power of the Herd, Linda Kohanov

    Written by Rachel Shackleton – Green Key Personal Development

  • Female Leadership: Leading Change Now

    On 8th March, as we mark International Women’s Day around the globe, it feels more relevant than ever to recognise the women leading at every level — from Heads of State and CEOs to founders, frontline managers and mothers. Female leadership is quietly leading the way as the world around us appears to go from one crisis situation to another. A change is needed. Are women able to live up to the needs of a changing world?

    The global picture has shifted significantly in recent years. While women still hold only around a quarter of national parliamentary seats worldwide, and fewer than 10% of countries are led by a woman Head of State or Government at any given time, representation at senior levels is slowly increasing. In the corporate world, women now hold over 10% of Fortune 500 CEO roles — the highest proportion in history — and in the UK, women occupy more than 40% of FTSE 350 board positions. Progress, while uneven, is real and perhaps even to be accelerated in the Year of the Horse and the age of Aquarius.

    Recent and current female Heads of Government and State have included leaders such as Mette Frederiksen in Denmark, Giorgia Meloni in Italy, Sheikh Hasina in Bangladesh, Ingrida Šimonytė in Lithuania, and Katrín Jakobsdóttir in Iceland. In recent years we have also seen influential leadership from figures such as Angela Merkel in Germany and Sanna Marin in Finland, who served as Prime Minister from 2019 to 2023 and became one of the world’s youngest serving heads of government, leading through the COVID-19 pandemic and complex security shifts in Europe.

    It is not about whether we agree with their politics or even like them. The fact remains: women are leading nations, steering economies, managing crises and shaping global policy during periods marked by geopolitical instability, economic uncertainty, climate disruption and rapid technological change.

    What are the principal characteristics of female leadership?

    Can we clearly separate “female” and “male” leadership principles? Probably not. Leadership styles vary widely among individuals, influenced by upbringing, education, experience, personality, culture and values. Courage, decisiveness, empathy and resilience are not gender-bound qualities.

    However, research consistently shows that women leaders are often associated with strengths such as:

    •    High emotional intelligence and relational awareness

    •    The ability to consider both data and human impact in decision-making

    •    Collaborative and inclusive approaches

    •    Patience and long-term thinking

    •    Resilience and quiet determination

    •    Comfort with shared credit rather than personal spotlight

    •    Strong communication and listening skills

    •    Systems thinking — balancing multiple priorities simultaneously

    This does not suggest men lack these qualities. Rather, many of these attributes are frequently socialised and strengthened in women, and when brought consciously into leadership, they can significantly influence organisational culture and performance.

    Why does this matter now?

    We are living in a time defined by complex, interconnected challenges:

    •    Climate change and environmental degradation

    •    Rising chronic disease and health inequality

    •    Economic instability and widening wealth gaps

    •    Loneliness, mental health pressures and social fragmentation

    •    Food system sustainability and public health concerns

    These are not problems that respond well to purely hierarchical or short-term thinking. They require courage, collaboration, empathy, systems awareness and long-term stewardship.

    The question is not whether female leadership is “better.” The question is whether broader, more balanced leadership — drawing on the full spectrum of human capability — is essential for the world we now inhabit.

    How long can we continue to live in ways that compromise the inheritance of future generations?

    How long can we ignore the impact of industrialised systems — in food, energy and production and on health, ecosystems and communities?

    How long can we overlook the connection between how we lead and the wellbeing of those we lead?

    How long can we blindly drive forward in disharmony with the all living beings and the environment in which we live?

    A celebration — and a responsibility.

    Let us celebrate female leadership not only on International Women’s Day, but every day — in government, in business, in communities and in homes.

    Progress is not about replacing one form of leadership with another. It is about expanding what leadership looks like. It is about ensuring talent, perspective and capability are not limited by gender.

    Perhaps it is this more inclusive, emotionally intelligent and system-aware leadership — embodied by many women and increasingly embraced by men — that will help us steer the ship toward a more responsible, sustainable and humane future.

    And perhaps the real leadership question is not who leads — but how we choose to lead, and what legacy we intend to leave behind.

    Interested in developing your leadership team? Contact rachel@greenkeypersonaldevelopment.com or book a call https://www.greenkeypersonaldevelopment.com/pages/contact

    #leadershipdevelopment #managementtrainingcourses #Leadershiptrainingoxfordshire #Hospitalityleadership

  • Fuel Performance: Why Leaders Can’t Afford to Ignore Nutrition

    In today’s high-pressure business world, it’s easy to get on to a soapbox about healthy eating—then realise that daily realities make it far harder than it sounds. Consider the challenges leaders and employees face:

    •    Demanding jobs and deadlines that leave little time to prepare food.

    •    Back-to-back meetings that mean lunch is whatever you can grab in five minutes.

    •    Stress from the unexpected—technical glitches, urgent client requests, supply chain disruptions.

    •    Family responsibilities—school runs, after-school activities, caring for children or elderly parents.

    •    Life's unexpected curveballs.

    Add them together, and whether working from home or an on-job location, it’s no surprise many professionals rely on quick fixes to fuel the body: takeaway meals, vending machine snacks, energy drinks, or ultra-processed convenience food.

    The Business Case for Better Nutrition

    The link between nutrition, productivity, and long-term health is well established. The human brain consumes around 20% of our body’s total energy—more than any other organ. When fuelled with nutrient-rich food, we think more clearly, make better decisions, and stay resilient under pressure. Perhaps more than that we inspire others to want to do their job with a cool head, full focus, humour when needed to remove any pressure, positive feedback and  vision. When fuelled with high-sugar, heavily processed food, performance declines—often without us realising.

    Common effects of poor workplace eating habits include:

    •    Afternoon energy slumps and reduced concentration.

    •    Increased sick days due to lower immunity.

    •    Brain fog, forgetfulness, and slower problem-solving.

    •    Increased sluggishness and or irritability with colleagues and family members.

    •    Lack of positivity.

    •    Long-term risk of metabolic diseases, including Type 2 diabetes and dementia.

    A 2023 study published in The Lancet Public Health found that diets high in ultra-processed foods were linked to increased rates of cognitive decline and depression. For knowledge workers, this is not just a personal health risk—it’s a productivity risk for the whole organisation.

    The Hidden Sugar Trap

    Sugar remains a major contributor to poor health outcomes. It’s not just in cakes and sweets—many “everyday” products contain hidden sugars, from ready-made soups to salad dressings. In the UK, research from Action on Sugar (2022) revealed that over 60% of popular savoury snacks and ready meals contained unnecessary added sugar.

    This is not simply about avoiding sweet treats—it’s about awareness. If leaders want high-performing teams and be high-performing themselves, they must encourage better choices and make them easy to access in the workplace.

    How Businesses Can Support Healthy Eating

    Changing habits starts with awareness and small, achievable actions:

    •    Make water the default – Provide filtered water stations in the office and encourage regular hydration.

    •    Offer seasonal, whole foods – Fresh fruit, vegetable platters, nuts, and whole grains support sustained energy.

    •    Limit ultra-processed snacks – Replace high-sugar, high-salt vending options with healthier alternatives.

    •    Encourage mindful eating – Protect lunch breaks from meeting creep so that leaders and employees can eat without rushing.

    •    Promote healthy fats – Avocados, nuts, oily fish, and olive oil to support brain health and reduce inflammation.

    •    Educate and engage – Short workshops, webinars and events on nutrition and a healthy lifestyle can help teams make better daily decisions.

    Why This Matters for Leadership

    Leaders set the tone. A workforce running on caffeine, sugar, and adrenaline is a workforce operating well below potential. By contrast, when healthy eating is part of company culture:

    •    Creativity and focus improve.

    •    Stress resilience increases.

    •    Employee satisfaction and retention rise.

    •    Problem solving and decision making improves both in speed and quality of decision made.

    •    Mental health improves.

    •    Employees and leaders have a better work-life integration.

    Good nutrition is not just a “wellness perk” — it’s your competitive advantage. When leaders and their teams eat well, they think faster, focus longer, bounce back quicker, and bring more energy to every challenge. Nutrient dead diets drain productivity; smart nutrition fuels it. If you want sharper decisions, stronger resilience, and bigger results, start with what’s on the plate. 

    Good nutrition is not just a "wellness perk"—it’s a business performance strategy.

    References:

    Monteiro, C.A. et al. (2023). Ultra-processed food consumption and risk of cognitive decline. The Lancet Public Health.

    Action on Sugar (2022). Hidden sugars in everyday foods report.

    Harvard Business Review (2020). The Business Case for Employee Wellbeing.

  • Great Leadership – Taking Difficult Decisions

    Teresa May quoted in a recent press conference on the reaction to the Brexit plan that has just been signed by all 27 member states – “Great leadership is not about taking the easy route, it is about making difficult decisions.”  Putting Brexit aside – I hear a sigh of relief?   This quote is at the heart of what effective leaders are faced with on a regular basis – that self questioning and draw of the easy route, which we all know rarely delivers, or taking that difficult decision which one knows will meet opposition, denial, ridicule and even refusal.

    Peter F. Drucker the management guru, once said, “Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision.”

    Making that difficult decision takes courage to stand in the face of adversity and keep moving forward, despite your inner self reminding you that there is an easier route, which may leave you unscathed, (probably not in Theresa May’s case!), but completely dissatisfied with yourself.  In other words, not living your own truth.

    Currently in South Africa enjoying the beauty of the landscape, the birds and wild life, knowing that underneath all this is a very rocky and unstable government.  The new temporary president, Cyril Ramaphosa is walking the tight rope through the land reform, and the demands of the opposition who believe it is reasonable to take away and redistribute land from farmers who have bought and worked their land, in some cases for generations, to African communities in those areas, for no compensation. Ramaphosa has looked for common ground in the negotiations and has signed off on the land reform. However, with a caveat that land cannot simply be removed from farmers, there has to be a system to request the land and process that transition, with the goal of ensuring it stays productive in supplying food for the South African people.  Did Ramaphosa take the easy route, or that difficult decision?

    Mandala walked the tightrope throughout his life, bringing liberation to the people of South Africa.  He did not stop to blame those who created the apartheid regime, he simply kept his goal in mind and moved peacefully and assertively forward towards his goal, making those decisions that had to be made despite lack of support from many his own ANC members. Eventually it all paid off with the end of apartheid, with liberation for all and a new beginning for South Africa.  Did it take courage and dedication to live his vision?  Did he have to make difficult decisions? I believe there can be no more difficult a decision to take than committing yourself to life imprisonment to serve the greater good of your people.

    Being a leader takes courage, it takes courage to make the decisions that have to be made, knowing very often that it will not please many of your followers.  However, firstly taking a decision is important, and making that decision work through a plan of action, communicating that plan to others and keeping the ship on course to overcome barriers to change, whilst inspiring followers to embrace that change, bringing about something new, different and exceptional.

    What lies ahead for Theresa May, the British government and people is going to take great courage and leadership to drive forward on the decision to leave the EU, to keep “Britain Great” and move into a new history.